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Am I doing something wrong : Swingers Discussion 221014
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TOPIC: Am I doing something wrong
Created by: SweetBerries91
Original Starting post for this thread:
Usually my messages will consist of "Hi. I'm Cas. How are you?" But am I doing something wrong here? Hardly ever get a respond back?

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Thanks you two! This really helps!

Pleasant Garden NC
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Cas,

I agree with most of what Ms. Sav is telling you. If we were in your age group (and you've selected out a lot of people by putting 30 as the top of your range) and got the message from you, we'd first look at your profile. We'd see that you want to play "tame," meaning watch-and-be-watched only, but that your profile talks about condoms and girl-girl play and wonder what was going on -- since neither of them apply to tame.

I don't think your profile is terrible, but there's not much there of substance. And if you wrote us and we didn't fit all of your criteria, we'd assume you were e-mailing everyone near you and we probably wouldn't bother to reply, so you should look at your criteria and their criteria before mailing.

Mail that has come to us out of the blue and to which we've replied has done what Ms. Sav said. It told us why they thought we'd be a good fit. I know when you're starting out that you may not know what a good fit would be, but that's why you need to say more in your mails and in your profile about what you like.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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(255 posts)
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Welcome to the forums Sweet. As to your question I think you already have the answer if it is not generating responses. Sending an email to ask how someone is doing isn't a great approach. Your sending an email to an unknown person or couple, not a text message with a friend. We don't engage in mail hi, how are you conversations. I mean really are we suppose to respond with "fine, how are you?" and play email tag. A better approach might be to introduce yourself, express interest in their profile, mention what you found in it that shares a commonality with your own desires etc. Remember you have one chance to make a first impression, one chance at getting a response. You will need to spark their interest in your own profile before they are going to take the time to chit chat. That being said, no offense intended but your profile itself could use some tweaking. It offers very little about you both and what you are seeking. The competition is tough , you must make every effort to engage the reader and give them some sense of who you are and what you are looking for. Be aware that even with the best profile and a variety of of pictures of both of you it isn't easy to find like minded people and you will be rejected and ignored far more often than you will like. Don't take it personally. My suggestion is you get involved with local parties and groups in your area. This will give you the opportunity to meet a wide variety of people and increase your chances of finding that "right someone"

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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(5387 posts)
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Usually my messages will consist of "Hi. I'm Cas. How are you?" But am I doing something wrong here? Hardly ever get a respond back?

Pleasant Garden NC
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(2 posts)
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TOPIC: Am I doing something wrong