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FORUMS › Successful Swinging › Finding Playmates › racism in the lifestyle
TOPIC: racism_in_the_lifestyle
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Well...this is America, and I believe everyone has a right to fuck who they want. But at the same time I feel that you should own up to your choices.

Chicago IL
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(216 posts)
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There appears to be a problem with the difference between preference and racist.... if you say you have you wont sleep with someone of a certain color.... you are a racist. Period. If you look around at the wonderful variety we have on this planet there are attractive people every where of every skin tone. For a person of one color to say they are not attracted to another color is racist because you are "Pre Judging" by color and not by appearance."

What? Because I do not want to fuck latinos or african americans I am a racist? I fuck who I want. And I do not explain it to anyone. Because I do not fuck black or latino men means I am not attracted sexually to black or latino men.

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I believe it is my right to fuck anyone that turns me on, if you dont because your not HWP, Tall, muscular, etc...in other words you dont meet my preferences of what I enjoy in a playmate that is why I am not interested in looking beyond what turns me off, why would I want to look beyond what I am turned on by? If that makes me closed minded then why does that bother you if truly you feel its my loss? Racism to me is the thinking that someone else due to the color of thier skin dont deserve the same rights as all others. I dont see how my preference in playmates is racism at all! I am so tired of those that enjoy BBC ( and i say if you do GOOD FOR YOU!!! PARTY ON) trying to lay racism on those of us that are not turned on by what you are turned on by. To me, your the one with the closed minds, you cannot accept that I have the right to be turned on by the men that turn me on but I totally uphold your right to be turned on by what turns you on.

Houston TX
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(2793 posts)
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There appears to be a problem with the difference between preference and racist.... if you say you have you wont sleep with someone of a certain color.... you are a racist. Period. If you look around at the wonderful variety we have on this planet there are attractive people every where of every skin tone. For a person of one color to say they are not attracted to another color is racist because you are "Pre Judging" by color and not by appearance.

Pineville LA
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As long as you have racism in this country.You will have it in the lifestyle. I would rather you tell me right up front you are not into my kind so I can make a note on your profile and move on. Having been on here and the lifestyle has taught me that.I actually heard a white male tell another white male how he would not that "n" but his black dick in his wife. Ten minutes later he was trying to talk to me! Please ! Worst then the racist is the person that "never played with a black woman" Please don't do me any favors.I don't do charity. How about playing with me because I'm me?

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(303 posts)
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Racism is when a person's attitude is "I'd Never play with a (fill in the blank)!" just as Ageism is evinced by an attitude of "I could never play with anyone under (fill in the blank) or over (fill in the blank)! It'd be just too weird!". Ditto with any attitude that prejudges people as desirable/undesirable based solely on a characteristic over which they have no control such as race, gender, eye/hair color, size, age, etc.. An -ism is inflexible and not subject to discussion.

Preference involves accepting that people are different and being willing to move beyond their uncontrollable characteristics to those which they Can control; cleanliness, social skills, gentlemanly or ladylike behavior, etc. Preferences are flexible and open to review and change.

We've played with and enjoyed people of many ages and races, and will continue doing so as long as we're in the LS. It burns us to hear someone say "You're too old for us" when they've made no effort whatsoever to get acquainted. It would burn us, too, if we found that we'd been dissed simply for being what we are; white, sixties, non-HWP, and in Luv. Having said that, we'd just consider it their loss and move on, though.

I'd suspect, but never suggest, that some who have 'preferences' are in fact exhibiting an -ism by virtue of not even being willing to explore the possibility that they could be missing some very nice people. I can't begin to say how many times we've read posts in these same forums along the lines of "We met someone at a party and had a Wonderful time with them. Surprisingly, since we wouldn't have given them a second glance based on their profiles."

Isn't it amazing? If you're the one doing the rejecting, it's a 'preference', but if you're the one being rejected it's (whatever)-ism? I'm wondering whether anyone on SLS has the mental flexibility to do a little self-examination and see if perhaps their preferences are flexible enough to encompass the idea that they might be missing out on some great connections by virtue of their 'preference'? Is it barely possible that a preference is actually an -ism? I'd suggest that if you're unable to even consider the idea, then it probably is. And that's Your loss, not ours.

JnD

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(780 posts)
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I see many many profiles on here and other sites that have couples/singles only interested in bi racial couples or black males. I think maybe you just need to search for what you seek. They are out there!

Houston TX
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(2793 posts)
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A sexy person is a sexy person is a sexy person, period!

Centennial CO
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(3975 posts)
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I am new to the lifestyle so I can't really comment on that, but I do get the whole your pretty for a black girl thing a lot lol! I just hope that people will look past color and see how much fun we are as people! Oh and we are a bi-racial couple.

Sahuarita AZ
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(6 posts)
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We've had only a very modest amount of experience playing with other races, but our opinion is that a nice face, a pleasant personality, and some reasonable intelligence are what matters. Other than that, the skin color contrast with another race is generally a turn-on for us.

Jim

Culpeper VA
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(8172 posts)
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TOPIC: racism in the lifestyle
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