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racism in the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 6356410191
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TOPIC: racism in the lifestyle
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Now, of course there is probably racism, as there is some in all facets of society unfortunately. However. I personally have never been attracted to african american men and most hispanic men sexually. I like white men. Does that make me a racist? No, I don't think so. I have friends and family who are both races, and I love them to death. I just don't get sexually turned on by them....as I don't to women pretty much either. Thats not wrong, its who I am. I can't force myself to like someone I'm simply not attracted to. Shelly


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two2 Said very well. ~Swt~

Spring TX
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My wife has absolutely no initial attraction to black men. Is the racism?...I don't think so. Some folks are attracted to some, and not to others

Pittsburgh PA
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Well said, WM, well said.

Rob

Newark DE
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poohba

Great post, However even though I agree with your point of view. I think it's the problem of the people making the assumtion. It's sad (though true) we live in a world were too many people expect "clarifiying". We have lost (or some have never had) a respect for people to just be and not assume the worst. We already spend way to much time trying to clarify everything so as to make it a point that we are not prejudice. I mean going off from your point of view most couples would end up having to state why they are being race specific, why they don't want single men, why they don't want bi men, why they don't want people "just passing thru town", why they want certain body types, or people with certain income levels.... It would be never ending trying to "clarify" for every possible group/race/sex/lifestyle to trying and prevent hurt feelings.

Also your example that a couple/single that had one bad experience with a difference race has ruled out that race completely. Though it could be true, lets not forget the meaning of racism is "a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others; hatred or intolerance of another race or other races". I doubt the person who was not a racist and invited a different race for play would then become racist due to one bad experience. This lifestyle is about fantasy and fun. I would more like to believe they just changed their preference and to do so does not make them a racist. As a people so many of us has lost or never had the ability to just respect people. A person that assumes the worst about others is part of the problem this world has. (Which if you think about it could also describe a racist).

We all should rejoice in our differences, but we all need to respect the differences of others; it will only be then that things will get better for this world.

Sandston VA
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We're supposed to be here for the fun of it and, as with anything people find fun, there's always a dark side to things that lurks to disrupt our harmony so, yeah, sometimes you gotta get deep to root this crap out and expose it for the bullshit it truly is. I apologize to one and all for jumping up on a soapbox, but I just don't have the patience for racism or the people who practice it in any form.

Rob

Newark DE
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WM, being the kind of person I am, I wouldn't think it to be a racist statement - but others might. In the example given, if this couple had made a statement "clarifying" their white men only statement, then perhaps the perception - or reception - of the statement would be different. Someone could easily look at that profile, see that statement, and ask themselves, "What, do they have something against non-whites?"

A more personal example: I was talking with a guy I had an encounter with and one who had a live-in partner who didn't like playing with Black men. I asked my new "friend" why his partner didn't like sex with Black men and all he said was, "Well, he tried it and just didn't like it..." I didn't think it a racial statement, just damned odd. I mentioned it to another friend of mine and the first thing he said was, "What, the dude don't like dark meat or something? What's up with that shit?" My friend was quite pissy about it, assuming racism when there was no proof of it.

If I've learned anything in life so far, it's not the truth of things that will hurt or cause damage - it's the perception that does it. Outside of personal philosophy and other such things, the only difference between me and a non-Black man is only the color of our skin. For some, it's a difference which makes no difference while, for others, it's a line that cannot be crossed for various reasons. I kinda recall seeing a thread in which a couple professed a desire to get with a Black couple - but didn't want to incur the wrath of the community in which they lived so, perhaps, some of the perceived racism in the lifestyle isn't anything more than a desire to stay physically healthy.

What I know for a fact is that none of the white couples we've made overatures to have come back and told us "Oh, hell no!" because we're Black. They may not like our attitude about swinging, a lot certainly don't like the idea that I'm a bisexual man, and others ain't too crazy about our respective ages; even this could be perceived as discriminatory... or simply a matter of choice on the other peoples' part - it's all in how you receive it.

The fucked up thing about racism period is that someone can have a bad experience with someone from another race and deem that everyone from that race is the same way. Some folks are just conditioned to hate without even understanding why - it's just what they were told and/or how they perceive the world around them.

Where we should rejoice in our differences, especially in this lifestyle, the ugly truth is that, in some cases, it just doesn't happen that way. We perceive it, make a decision about it, then go on about our business.

Racism is just plain stupid in any situation.

Rob

Newark DE
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pooh.. A "White Men only" statement in a profile is at least selective, but it is in no way enough information to think they might be racist as well. there is a definate difference between preferance and racism.

Keep in mind this lifestyle is all about fun and "FANTASY". It's about exploring an activity and people that you have a desires about. Just because there is lack of desire for a particular race (white, black, mexican, etc) does not mean there is hate or dislike involved in that decision. That said there really is no patience for hate or racism in this lifestyle... that's what the block function is for.

Sandston VA
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Saw a profile on here recently that said, "WHITE MEN ONLY!!!!!" Now, is that being selective... or is it being racist? I find it cute and flattering when a couple tells us they've never been with Blacks before or that they have and want to do so again. But when I saw that statement in a couple's profile, all I could say was, "That's a damned shame..." because they were sounding quite delicious until I got to that part.

Some wise person said we're all Black when the lights go out, just as some other wise person noted that all pussy is pink on the inside.

Rob

Newark DE
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Please don't get stuck in the line of thinking that rejection is racism. As it's been pointed out some people are just not attracted to or feel comfortable with a different race. This by it's self is not racism which I connect to unfounded hatred or distrust to a different race.

Sadly there are not many mixed couples in the lifestyle. However there are plenty of people opened minded enough to see past that. So don't get frustrated.

The people that told you to lose your partner are a consistant problem with the lifestyle. I would agree that was not only a racist comment, but just plan rude as well. It shows a true lack of character.

Sandston VA
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TOPIC: racism in the lifestyle