Worth the wait: Swingers Discussion 1970081011

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Worth the wait: Swingers Discussion 1970081011

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TOPIC: Worth the wait

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User Details are only visible to members.	Joey, as you said, people have different attitudes towards it. Personally when I was single and even when I was dating my now wife, I didn't look at sex as "playing basketball in the driveway". I'm sure there are lots of people who look at it as playtoys and I respect that. In a way I do to, but I have heard of couples who only play with a couple twice, only once, people they don't even know their names. If you are just in it to get a nut I guess that works, I just think you might miss out on a lot that way too. I'm sure many choose quantity over quality. Especially since getting to know someone involves a deeper commitment and bigger trust between partners. I find it rare to get a girl off the first time I am with her, yet I have never had a girl I can't get off after a time or two. By getting to know her, knowing what she likes and how she likes it, I am able to please her WAY better so she doesn't have to fake it. To me that is way more worth it.
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	People have different attitudes toward sex and swinging. To some, sex is something personal and intimate and it is a HUGE HUGE thing to bring in someone else or see their partner bring in someone else. Others are like "Whats the big deal? its sex!" Personally, sex with others is no different to me emotion wise than if we were playing basketball in the driveway. Its just an activity thats fun. I dont feel or look for any emotional connection. This may sound a little harsh, but for the most part, for us in this lifestyle, people are just sextoys for us. So to watch my wife with someone else. I enjoy it. I find it hot. I get turned on. But I dont get any negative emotions out of it. We dont get to know people well enough to add to any drama. It really is "Lets have a penis over tonight" There happens to be a guy attached. But thats just the price you pay. Now. He may suck at sex or performance. So we chalk that up as a lousy lay. But certainly nothing that would scare us away from trying another. Now with that said. We have made some of our best friends with couples from this lifestyle. So we're not all hardcore about it. Maybe its because of our experience. We dont have to "get to know" people or "chat until we're comfortable" We're comfortable already.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Communication is key. We spend a lot of time chatting/emailing before meeting. Asking and answering. It's worked out very well for us so far. Establishing a comfort level before the meet, then we know what is on the table and helped moved playtime forward, less awkward silences. So, take your time, make sure it's right for BOTH of you, then have fun. Make new friends first and then the benefits are bonus.
Las Vegas NV			Username hidden (850 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	yea, it's definitly workin for me too... ;) plus we wont be back to Florida for a few weeks, plenty of time to see if our SO's feel the same. ...as if i dont have enough problems! ..trying to swing in two different states does not make anything easier! lol
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Kind, We actually talked all week (me with her, my wife with him, me with him) via email and such. We have been talking every day since as well. While this may be too personal for some, this made a HUGE difference. Not that we didn't find them attractive, because we definitly did, but after the personal conversations, they have became even more attractive as people. We got to find out so many things that in a normal situation, we may have never known. I think this made a huge difference.
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Good for you kind. Don't give up. We are a couple hours south below Philadelphia.
Delta PA			Username hidden (124 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"This time however completely rewrote the book for me and for us both. " ===== aw, that's wonderful. thank you for sharing this topic with us. ...so i need an editor??? LOL (joking, i know exactly what you're saying) you know, we were talking yesterday and even tho i've thought 'all' the places we've been so far have been unsuccessful in regard to me seeing anyone i mite like enough to have sex with (which is different for everyone) and the few who have approached us i would rather jump off a bridge than go home with ...we've only been in this for 4 months, so i'm being a little unfair thinking i'll never meet this kind of person.... it just 'felt' like that. then this past weekend we went somewhere, and ironically the music was all screwed up and we 'thought' it was not much fun... yet because of the 'quiet' at times, we ended up actually talking and 'hearing' people! lol (old ears, oye) ... and what a concept 'friendly' conversation is! lol we left alone, but are now emailing with many we met... and i think i may just like someone ...and he is being clear that he likes me... ;) so yea, maybe it will be worth the wait and looking forward to re-writing the book. ty ;)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	All I can say is don't settle or compromise. Take your time until you really find what you guys are looking for. Like Kind, and a couple of you said, it' making you aprehensive and almost where you are questioning it. I was the same way. This time however completely rewrote the book for me and for us both. I realized this something isn't I have to do, but definitly something i want to do. Definitly an experience I wont forget anytime soon. Hang in there guys
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	naughty... why thank you ...and we're in PA too! LOL! ...altho i dont know where Delta is ...(but we're near the pocono's.) lost, you're so funny i cant take it sometimes. :) i'm sorry the sex part sucked ass lol ...so is it the fun, open and flirty stuff you enjoy the most? yea, so the first time being bad for me has really made me more apprehensive. and everytime i 'think' of walking into a bedroom with persons, all i 'think' of is walking out as bad as i did felt the first time. i think, i think too much. perhaps a labotomy would help me... lol!
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	kind, sorry you had a bad experience. I really do not have many words of encouragement because my experience with couples sucks ass. However, non sexually I have met sooooo many great swinging couples. Great, nice people. The only ones I really havent like lol...are the ones that sex was involved with. Stay patient. If you need to move slowly, move slowly. If you do this before you are ready you could end up very frustrated. You know you...move at your pace.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

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TOPIC: Worth the wait