Worth the wait: Swingers Discussion 197008

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TOPIC: Worth the wait

Created by: FlirtAway Original Starting post for this thread:
I just wanted to throw this out to some of the new couples on here who maybe haven't had their first experience yet. We made a big mistake our first time that almost ruined swinging for us. I know the initial rush of finding a couple can blind you, almost like an impulse buy. Don't be afraid to take your time and wait. Our first time, we didn't and it ended horribly. We decided to give it one more try and met another brand new couple. We all talked back and forth a ton the week leading up to our first meeting. We made sure that we all clicked, all wanted the same things, and we didn't compromise what we wanted (they wanted the same), we preplanned and talked about every issue before hand, and in the end it made for an amazing experience for all of us.

Created by: FlirtAway
Original Starting post for this thread:

I just wanted to throw this out to some of the new couples on here who maybe haven't had their first experience yet. We made a big mistake our first time that almost ruined swinging for us. 

I know the initial rush of finding a couple can blind you, almost like an impulse buy. Don't be afraid to take your time and wait. Our first time, we didn't and it ended horribly. We decided to give it one more try and met another brand new couple. We all talked back and forth a ton the week leading up to our first meeting. We made sure that we all clicked, all wanted the same things, and we didn't compromise what we wanted (they wanted the same), we preplanned and talked about every issue before hand, and in the end it made for an amazing experience for all of us.

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User Details are only visible to members.	Just kinda worked out that way. We would hang out g-rated and end up playing. Then as time went on, we hung out g-rated and didnt play. There was no discussion about it or anything.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Joey, how do you go about changing from playmates to just good friends? Have all felt the same way, at the same time? Is it hard to tell playmates that you just want to be friends? ...just curious :)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2999 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Nothing wrong with that at all. No two couples are identical. I sound a little distant and "hardcore" about it but there is nothing wrong with swinging however youre comfortable. We've had couples that wanted us to just come over to their house after one email and fuck. Now thats way too fast for us. We've had others who we have become really close "real-world" friends with and heck, we dont even play anymore. Thats awesome too
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'm sorry but I don't think I would ever want to fuck someone without emotion. Keeping CERTAIN emotions out (shame, love, guilt, etc) I get. No emotions...man, just seems like the sex would suck. Lust, passion, trust, joy.....those are emotions too and great ones. Definitly ones I wouldn't want to be without. Google Roda Emosi Plutchik emotion wheel. There are a lot of good emotions there.
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Those who know my writing by now know I tend to exaggerate my points in my posts a bit...lol We are all for making close friends with couples and have in the past before we moved. Our best friends in NY started off as playmates. I think my point is moreso that we are just more laidback than most. We enjoy playing with others, we love the company and the excitement. But we dont think too much into it emotionally. We're neither hardcore nor shy. And not pushy either. We will gladly hang out and get to know a couple and if it leads to friends instead of sex or both, great. And I agree its more fun with couples when you become friends. Once the initial shyness leaves. And you can just sit around naked after and joke around and hang out. When the "performance" becomes secondary. Single guys are different to us. For our own reasons we choose not to get to know them and dont want to pursue a friendship. We do just want them for their performance. But all others.....Bring it on.
Mount Juliet TN			Username hidden (662 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sweet...I agree completely. We see swinging as an exciting adventure and like any adventure it involves some risk....perhaps that's part of the allure . Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4440 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	True sav, but that's part of the thrill,Taking on the unknown. But that's us, our wedding song was highway to hell....
Dallas TX			Username hidden (2225 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"It's more like driving a vette full throttle down hwy 95." With possibility road construction,potholes, deer in the road ,stupid drivers and toll booths. You never know until it is over how good or bad the road trip will be lol. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4440 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We are kinda like joey, We don't mix emotion with the lifestyle. But we do see it as more than playing basket ball in the drive. It's more like driving a vette full throttle down hwy 95.
Dallas TX			Username hidden (2225 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I've never used the word mistake in a swinging context but we've had our share of "growing" experiences for sure. Keep in mind that no matter how much you talk, how much attraction you think you feel the night can still be a flop. Even when you "think" you've covered all the bases , rules, wants, desires and preferences each situation brings it's unique challenges and rewards. There will always be something that you just didn't think of or expect. As mentioned communication is critical but not foolproof. After each encounter we thoroughly discuss the good , the bad and the ugly so to speak. Initially you will spend more time learning what you don't want as apposed to what you seek. Patience, an open mind and the willingness to learn from your "mistakes" is required. Remove the negative thought process of chalking those kinds of experiences as a mistake and focus on what you learned about yourself and each other to make the next encounter more enjoyable for you. Swinging does not come with a instruction manual , much like parenting it is trial and error and using common sense and educating yourself about the potential pitfalls. Like being a parent the more experience you have the more comfortable you will feel in making the right decisions. Always follow your gut instinct, if something feels "off" it probably is . Much like any relationship sometimes 2 perfectly wonderful couples come together and create a chaos. It doesn't mean their is anything wrong with you or wrong with them, it simply means you are compatible. Good Luck and don't wait until your feet dry to jump back in try again. Also keep in mind the more you build something or someone up in your mind the hard the fall is potentially. Sometimes our "fantasy" can be the biggest deterrent to actually enjoying ones self. We make it SO perfect in our mind that the reality is bound to fall short. Keep things in perspective and your expectations realistic. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4440 post)

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TOPIC: Worth the wait

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