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What percent of couples on sls are real : Swingers Discussion 184700
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TOPIC: What percent of couples on sls are real
Created by: jandact
Original Starting post for this thread:
as in what percent of couples have actually swapped with another couple? We finally got exasperated with people who have no certs so we changed our profile to say if you have no 'real' certs then you have to convince us you are serious. By 'real' certs we mean certs that say 'we met this couple and actually played with them' and not the 'we met so and so at a meet and greet and had a nice chat' variety.

For what it's worth we searched for couples in our area and of the first 200 who came up 55 had certs or 27.5%. We did not look at the actual certs people had to try to figure out how many were 'real' but we are sure that some of those couples have the 'we met and chatted' variety meaning probably closer to 20% of couples here have what we consider 'real' certs. So one out of five couples are serious swingers??? Is that right???

Now we understand some people do not give and accept certs but we doubt that they would change the number very much.

After we get some feedback on this post we are going to suggest to sls that they split certs into two categories with the second being certs that say 'we met and played with this couple.'

Thoughts?

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We have been on this site for a few years, we also believe that about 20% is actually being a bit generous. But its not just because there are people on here that arent real, you have a mixture of "chat bots" (computer generated profiles) or other people get into a click, they dont want to deal with anyone outside it. I wish SLS had a feature where they can just hide their profiles....wait there is one...I wish they would do it.

Newport News VA
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"However, as an earlier poster pointed out, we were raised to respond politely to polite inquiries, even if only to say 'no thank you'. That seems to be a dieing trait on the 'net. "

I don't think it is a dying art on the net at all. Since when was there any kind of protocol necessitating responding to emails for products or services you are not interested in. Why people want to bitch and complain about non responses is beyond me. Lets say your looking to get new windows and siding for your home. You might even go to a Home show just to look around, next thing you know your mail box is being filled up with all kinds of products being offered trying to sell custom paint, a new house maybe, a complete home remodel or even if your lucky just the windows or siding you are actually looking for . Do you email them all back and politely tell each of them that although you are in the market for siding you have no interest in a new home, custom paint job or even in the siding they are offering?? Why on earth anyone expects the experience here to be any different is beyond me. You're here either buying or selling or maybe even both . If someone is interested in what you're selling they'll be all over it if not Que Sera, Sera.

All this BS about fakes and flakes, respect and manners, expectations and judgments is ridiculous and the fact that anyone lets it bother them says far more about THEM than it does the non responder. How many people do you pass on the street, in the subway or coming in or out a door that you don’t even look at never mind acknowledge and yet somehow you send out an email to a complete stranger and expect a response and judge them if for whatever reason they don’t respond?

Anniston AL
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Savandwin: You're assuming that we 'shotgun' inquiries indiscriminately. Not so. We read profiles and if we don't fit their (stated) age preferences and other desires, they never near from us. We're in a large metropolitan area and have several hundred LS types who aren't far. Of those, some state that they're open to people of our ages, though as you point out most are not. Those who are not get a 'note' on their profile reminding us to not contact them..."Only interested in 25-45, do not contact", etc. My point was that even those who express an interest in people of our ages and interests refuse to acknowledge or respond to inquiries. Yes, I'm certain that there must be some attraction to establish a relationship. However, as an earlier poster pointed out, we were raised to respond politely to polite inquiries, even if only to say 'no thank you'. That seems to be a dieing trait on the 'net.


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Trying to meet people on a website is a bit like fishing,dangle the bait, hope to get a nibble /anda fish that you don't have to immediately throw back in the pond.

If you send out an emailand areply comes back, great! If a reply doesn't come back...it's like the fish that ignored the bait and got away. He ignored it because he wasn't attracted to it, plain and simple.

We seldom email othersanyway and we alwaysreply to polite emails, butwe view no response to any we do send as no interest, and just move on. Attraction must be mutual after all, and if they are fake or flaky...I am glad they didn't reply.

Shelly

Memphis TN
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"The inquiries are universally ignored anyway, so why bother? We'll attend MG's and house parties and expand our circle of friends there. SLS has become useless as a resource for that purpose. That's the reality."

No offense intended but are you sure your ages are not a large factor into the lack of responses? The percentage of folks in your age group is rather slim, add to that the need for attraction and it seems logical things would be slowing down for you.

We were never ones to mass email folks and therefore had very little experience with lack of responses. We pick careful who we believe we are compatible with and also make damn sure we are meeting their compatibility desires.....after that it is easy......either we're all attracted or we are not. If they ignore us, clearly they're not interested....nothing fake or flaking about that at all.

I get a kick out of the whole "Everyone is fake or a flake" theory ...what an easy out to blame others for your lack of success instead of taking a hard look on how you yourselves might be contributing to the problem in one way or another.

That's my 2 cents.....keep the change!

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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We've been swinging for about seventeen years and on SLS for quite a few years too. We've metsome very nice people on SLS and can guarantee that they're For Real. :-) Having said that, it seems that the online community in general, not just SLS, is having real issues with civility. We understand that the anonymity offered by the net helps to shield people's identities and protects their privacy. It also offers unparalleled opportunities for totally uncivil behavior without consequences. Fakes and Flakes can flourish, rude responses are easy, and ignoring polite inquiries is the norm. In theory, LS sites like SLS offer the LS community an easy means of expanding our circles of friends. In practice, the behavior that we've seen over the past several years is a Total Turnoff...to the point that we've entirely stopped even bothering to introduce ourselves to other members and express any interest in making their acquaintance. The inquiries are universally ignored anyway, so why bother? We'll attend MG's and house parties and expand our circle of friends there. SLS has become useless as a resource for that purpose. That's the reality.


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Our experience with meeting people from sites like SLS has been really good. When we do give our numbers out it is usually after a few emails/IMs back and forth. If one of the cpl..usually guy..doesnt have a pic we will ask for at least a body shot of one (clothed). If they start coming up with excuses..red flag.. but once our numbers are out we try to group text with everyone.. we understand the others may only use one phone... We usually voice verify and then talk to both

..precautions

El Paso TX
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We put some value in a cert. I really don't care if it says "this couple is awesome at..." (which is none of my business, i'll make that call on my own) or it says "we met them at a meet greet". I just like to see one that would indicate that it is a genuine couple that isn't too scared to show thier face and not one of the other possibilities. Single male, married male, HS kid jerking off, etc,etc.

We have run into people too paranoid to show thier face someone posing as a couple.

Weather they have the intent on meeting people or if we are at all compatable is another thing but the later is kind of fun to figure out.

We have only run into a few that weren't as advertised, More that there just wasn't a connection.

E Grand Forks MN
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Based on our experience over the past 10 yrs we'd have to say thst no more then 25% of the couples here are real.

Sylmar CA
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I think that most of of them are real, others are looking into it ... but they get scared after first mail.. either because their expectations ... or your too good looking... gotta go with your age and weith range and look...unless one is taking one for the team.."taking one for the team is never good unless the other take one back fast"...joke lol

Lynchburg VA
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TOPIC: What percent of couples on sls are real