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What is wrong with Married men swinging alone : Swingers Discussion 707531061
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TOPIC: What is wrong with Married men swinging alone
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I'll say what I say, but keep in mind I'm probably the least qualified out of this whole site to speak intelligently about it. Its purely my opinion, based off my initial interpretation of the good people I've met here so far, and why I think I would feel this way, were I to be married, or committed to someone and chose to be a swinger.

What's wrong with a married man swinging alone.

It would seem to me on first glance, that this lifestyle has the potential to play off of one of the most volatile human emotions. Envy. People committed to , and who thrive, or enrich their lives from the swinger lifestyle, whether it fills a void, or is just something that completes them and their significant other in a way previously unknown to them, or quite literally is what makes them feel as though we are all together on this planet as a single species, I can not say.

What I feel I can say is that, in the swinger lifestyle, both as women and as men, you expose the most important person in your life, to a person, or persons, who has the potential to do great harm based off the potential intimacy involved, to someone who while you want to believe you can, you do not know well enough to trust as completely as the person you are exposing them to.

That is not to say there are not people here who we can trust completely, with our spouses, our businesses, our wallets, our lives. It means to me that, if I love someone, I'm going to do everything in my power to protect them. In my mind, if I do not think I can trust someone, THAT completely, because they show a desire to hide this from someone in their lives, then I feel I should also not invite them into mine and yet closer to the people I value most.

I understand in some peoples lives there may be a caveat where while your partner does not choose to engage in the same lifestyle, they respect your right to do it, and have no problems with you as a human being need to do it as a whole. Looking at human nature though I personally believe that is probably fewer and far between than any would have us believe and therefore not worth the risk to someone I valued above all else.

Vine Grove KY
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Since posting below a few replies ago, my playmate and I have had our own discussion about playing 'outside the lines of swinging'. He says he won't be in a relationship where he couldn't take advantage of getting laid if the opportunity presents itself but would also extend the same to the woman to enjoy. So we're still talking about if that includes hunting here on SLS where I would expect to be informed of what he's doing or just a happenstance of standing in a checkout line at the grocery or Home Depot.

Sarasota FL
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Hello Austin Guy. Hope you are well. In regard to the thread its a hard call really whether the goings on of another marriage are or are not your business...I just really get concerned because a single female friend of ours was freaked out when the fiance of her play partner called her up on her cell phone. It really freaked her out in a big way which of course is understandable. Shell

San Marcos TX
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To answer you we've never been contacted by a wife yet. If we were contacted we'd tell her the truth and refer her to her husband. We tell the guys that if their wife contacts us, we won't lie for them. We're not the moral police and we don't lie. If anyone wants drama they can go elsewhere. We're not going to respond to drama and will end it rather abruptly if someone decides to try it. One sided drama doesn't get very far.

Enosburg Falls VT
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BadWolf says, "My $0.02 worth (Male half). We play separately and are content with it. Not saying it works for everyone, but it does for us. I am always up front with the people I talk to about being married, and never lie about it. I understand if you are not comfortable with it, and we go on our separate ways. My wife is happy to talk to anyone that tinks I'm cheating.

On the other hand, there are women on the site as singles, just as there are males, who are not really single. Most have been up front with me about it, and tell me there husbands don't know. That is one game I'm not playing. That is drma on the highest level just waiting to explode, and I don't want anywhere near it.

We have no problem with playing separately as long as everyone is up front and open about it from the start, and everyone is on the same page of understanding."

Sorry...but I have a major problem with that. My playmate and I have discussed this as a hypothetical projection. He says he'd be willing to let me go off with someone who caught my fancy. No way...I'm not interested in anyone else...just him. I think that's just a reason for a 'tit for tat' game - you got yours, I want mine now. As I explained to him the other night, swing is supposed to be two people enjoying a bit of strange now and then and a committed couple that has the love and respect of each other goes home together knowing that it truly is just sportfucking. That's the whole security of it.

Though I would admit I'd probably have a time swallowing the idea of him with someone else in the same room but as long as I knew and approved of her, would feel ok with it. But certainly no solo expeditions by any means. Nor would I request one even if I knew he didn't care enough to say no. That's what it amounts to in a nutshell....do you care enough to say ..no - we do this together or not at all?

But you're right...you're way isn't for everyone. I do know my playmate has a wandering eye (and cock) so my eyes are open.

Sarasota FL
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"it was no ones business but mine and hers. "

WRONG!!! It's also the business of the couple with whom you want to play. THEIR morality standards are as valid and applicable as yours.

We refuse to play with married men unless we have met and discussed the issue with their wives.

Jim

South Riding VA
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DandJ you are right in that you are NOT the marital or morality police for other married adults. We do not play with married men who are cheating. But again like I have said, we rarely play with singles so it has only been an issue once and we turned him down when he said that his wife didn't know he was here. Every time I talk with couples that do play with married men I always wonder this...I always enjoy your posts so I just have to ask you. Don't y'all ever worry about an angry wife contacting you? I would be scared that some angry ass wife would walk into my office or something. Shell

San Marcos TX
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Many here are intensely concerned with cheaters. Since we meet guys for threesomes, we have extensive experience. About 90% of those who contact us as guys are married. We always ask because we like to know and if they can't be upfront, that is a deal breaker. But we aren't the morality police, so it's not a deal breaker if they are married. Their business is their business. I know that many get all shook up about those guys, but we've met some nice guys who were married and didn't let their wives know the situation. Each situation is different, so rules never cover them. We've never liked rules and would rather judge each person individually.

There are single men playing. There are married men playing with permission. We've enjoyed both. And there are many sad, sorry marriages. Been there ourselves. One thing we do tell all is that if your wife contacts us we will not lie for you. Never had it happen yet, though.

Enosburg Falls VT
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As experienced swingers know, the problem with married men playing alone is that the vast majority of them are just cheaters.

Not all, though. But we would likely not take a chance unless it was with someone we knew well and whose wife we also knew and with whom we had confirmed the agreement they have.

Jim

South Riding VA
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"my question is, would you believe my profile or not? Seriously, just wondering if I am viewed as legitimate or a cheater."

Anyone who thinks you are a cheater is a judgemental moron without a clue - don't give such opinions a second thought. You have an excellent profile.

Pismo Beach CA
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TOPIC: What is wrong with Married men swinging alone