i think swinging with your spouse's blessings is way different than swinging behind their back.... :(

People are people....and all are the same. That means that those in the Lifestyle can be as closed minded as anyone else can be.

The lifestyle is different things for different people, and we all make our choices and life with them -- married cpls, singles, married playing alone.

When u go from 3x a day to 4 times a year and she does not care to explore swing options to bring back the spark is it cheating or taking care of your self. Married 26 years she has no ambition to have sex, can't convince her to change. Why should I feel guilty a still love her and have no reason to leave her because she is content with no sex. I have no inerest in the drama of taking away another guys mate either. I just want to meet good people and feel young and excited again. Met a couple who had resevations but we ended up having 3 meetings and great satisfaction was had by all.

I'm just saying!

i apologize for my spelling i guess i need to use spell check first.

Hi all. I am a married man in his late 60s. I have a loving wife who got inn 4 years ago from fibromalgia. She has days she dont even want to be touched let alone play or have sex or kiss pasionately for that . She has tod me time after time to go out and find someone to have sex with. She says its just raw sex and not love. So i am out there looking . But when i asl or write someone they shy awsy and im not sure if its age or is it the fact they think im cheating. I love my wife and will never leave her. However i hav the intimate desires more now that she can no loger give me that. Now this is just my opinion but i think its fine to play alone

We don't play alone, prefering to play together, but nothing wrong with it; couples have their own rules in the LS. For us its a benefit that some couples have this flexibility, it's helpful in putting together MFM - nice to find the respectful experienced swinger husband on a hall pass.

I am going to post from the wife's prospective. There is nothing "wrong" with married men playing alone; it is a couple's preference. In our case I can't even say that because if is MY preference. I have, on several occasions, let my husband play alone. I also discovered in doing that that I could not handle it emotionally. I swing with my husband because it is something that we can enjoy TOGETHER and share TOGETHER. I enjoy the experience with him very much. In our case, it was never meant to be an "alone" thing. I have seen too many relationships in the lifestyle fall apart because the "swinging alone," turned into a relationship. It works very well for some couples but I am finally woman enough to say that it doesn't work for us.

Hi Makemelaff, welcome to the forums : ) I can't imagine what it's like to be in a marriage where my spouse would no longer want to have sex and stopped caring about how he looks. Congratulations that you have lost the weight and are exercising and, yes, both improve desire and endurance! My husband and I have talked about this scenario, and what would we do....we each agreed that we would have to give the spouse an ultimatum. I certainly understand how desperate you must feel, and it's totally selfish of her to deny this very healthy aspect of your marriage, but you need to give her a chance -- have you asked her to go to counseling with you, or to help her lose weight? I really sympathize with you, but I would never condone needlessly hurting someone, which is why we won't play with married men swinging alone. You mentioned in your post that you want to try the lifestyle out before divorcing to see if its a "superior lifestyle," - please understand that swinging, IMO, will never replace a *relationship.* If you're looking for a relationship (and from your post, I can understand why), then try the dating sites (but AFTER your divorce). I do hope your wife will step up to the plate, at least as far as loving you enough to make herself attractive to you, and giving herself to you physically. Time for some happiness. Best wishes, Kat

i have a bbw that is has a negative body image of herself. we have not had intercourse in years. i have been left with masturbation. then i lost my weight and now food isn't medicaticating me any longer. my cock has come back to life since i am off most my health related meds and i want sex. it is viewed negatively, if i tell her i want other ladies (morality) & i am uncertain yet if i want to go for divorce. i want the best of both worlds until i see whether the sls life is a superior lifestyle. i expect that others will think ill of me, but i would like some real answers with content to consider my paths.

Me in my wife are in the beginning of the swinging alone process and to be honest, all that we ask of each other is honesty and to notify each other . Also if they are not willing to let the spouse play too if they want then they will get no play from either of us.