The One, True, Absolute Thing that WILL Work: Swingers Discussion 60507

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TOPIC: The One, True, Absolute Thing that WILL Work

Created by: TreyDaddy Original Starting post for this thread:
**************** CONFIDENCE **************** I keep reading: "Not Ken and Barbie..." "My Body Isn't..." ...Various and Sundry Self Deprecating Remarks... And you know what? Now listen closely, my people... It doesn't make a Damn Bit of Difference What You Look Like Attraction, even among the most shallow of us, is a mental thing. You know why that "hot" chick is with the geeky nerd or older man? Confidence Why is that Chiseled Male with the "Plain Jane? Confidence That geek, older gent and Jane can look in the mirror and smile. They know they contribute something positive to the cosmos. Sure, they may "wonder" why this spectacular-looking person is with them; but that is humility; not low self-confidence. I've been to BDSM events where hulking women, corsets barely containing their wide, round torsos, command the attention of every sculpted male OR female within sight. I've watched tiny hetero male dominants fetch high numbers during auctions. Confidence I've been to Swing events where the rotund and petite alike; men and women with tracks of surgical scars, grin and court each other; experience having taught them that they are indeed interesting to a great number of senses and sensibilities. Confidence. Across the board everyone above groom, coif, cleanse and maintain their bodies, minds and souls to the best of their personal knowledge and ability. Not because they want to be better looking; but because they know they are good looking and take pride in that. They want their bodies to be warm, soft, clean, hospitable environments for their partners. They want their half of the conversation to be witty and friendly. They know that interested means interesting and look for those things in you that fascinate them. They want you to see that sparkle in their eye that conveys a genuine "Wow". This is not arrogance. This is not the misguided belief that you should be attractive to everyone or that you are superior. This is the belief that, when and if asked, you can and will be able to offer something unique. You know what you do and are is special. It may be wholly incompatible with what someone else wants or needs. But it is yours. You own it. You Fuckin' ROCK. That, my brothers and sisters of the Swing, is the Truth.

Created by: TreyDaddy
Original Starting post for this thread:

******************
CONFIDENCE
******************

I keep reading:
"Not Ken and Barbie..."
"My Body Isn't..."
...Various and Sundry Self Deprecating Remarks...

And you know what?
Now listen closely, my people...

It doesn't make a Damn Bit of Difference What You Look Like

Attraction, even among the most shallow of us, is a mental thing.  You know why that "hot" chick is with the geeky nerd or older man?
Confidence
Why is that Chiseled Male with the "Plain Jane?
Confidence

That geek, older gent and Jane can look in the mirror and smile.  They know they contribute something positive to the cosmos.  Sure, they may "wonder" why this spectacular-looking person is with them; but that is humility; not low self-confidence.

I've been to BDSM events where hulking women, corsets barely containing their wide, round torsos, command the attention of every sculpted male OR female within sight.  I've watched tiny hetero male dominants fetch high numbers during auctions.  Confidence

I've been to Swing events where the rotund and petite alike; men and women with tracks of surgical scars, grin and court each other; experience having taught them that they are indeed interesting to a great number of senses and sensibilities.  Confidence.

Across the board everyone above groom, coif, cleanse and maintain their bodies, minds and souls to the best of their personal knowledge and ability.  Not because they want to be better looking; but because they know they *are* good looking and take pride in that.  They want their bodies to be warm, soft, clean, hospitable environments for their partners.  They want their half of the conversation to be witty and friendly.

They know that interested means interesting and *look* for those things in you that fascinate them.  They want you to see that sparkle in their eye that conveys a genuine "Wow".

This is not arrogance.  This is not the misguided belief that you *should* be attractive to everyone or that you are superior.

This is the belief that, when and if asked, you can and will be able to offer something unique.  You know what you do and are is special.  It may be wholly incompatible with what someone else wants or needs.  But it is yours.  You own it.  You Fuckin' ROCK.

That, my brothers and sisters of the Swing, is the Truth.

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User Details are only visible to members.	confidence is a good thing. But for me it boils down to me being attracted to them without the guy speaking...lol I may be shallow--- prob am--- but if I don't find something physically attractive about the guy you can forget it. All the talking to to me in the world is not going to get it.
Howell MI			Username hidden (1615 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	slip I'm weak for them what can I say...its my fatal flaw lmao. You show me intelligence combined with sharp wit and humor and snap is all I can say haha.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I love smart ass humor, and people who don't take themselves too seriously. It's that cute, smart quiet boy in the corner who takes in everything, and then bites with one witty comment that totally shuts up everyone else in the room because 1. it's far beyond their comprehension, or 2. there is nothing anyone can say that can top it Put some soulful eyes behind a preppy pair of glasses, and yum. But I also like "them bad boys" sometimes too...a combination is optimal. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have a m/f couple that I grew up with. They are the same way! Everwhere we go, they think that half of the room is checking them both out. If a waitress talks to them a second longer than needed, she wants to hook up with them. It is very annoying, but it can be really fun when they try to pick some of these people up! Lmao " LOL yes she is so cute. Shes my bud but yes if you look in her direction you want to fuck her right there lol. We had a guy come over and sit down by our desks waiting for our manager who was in a meeting. I mean the guy was just doing chit chat politely, how are you etc. He leaves, she looks at me and goes did you see him totally looking at my tits? LOL I think she is cute. When I'm in a good mood its cute. PMS I just smile and keep working lmao. I do respect her confidence though most definately. The last poster talked about your interpretation of cocky I believe. Well thats up to the person. I tend to be attracted to the white collar types, the ones that wear the button down shirts, the top 3 buttons open so I can see just a tease of chest hair..BITE...and honestly men that I think are witty and funny my friends think are smart asses. But then they tend to go more for the good ole boy type which I do not prefer.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We just smile and accommodate those cocky types (seems like we all have a friend or two like that, huh?), knowing that most of them would freak out if they knew what we did in the lifestyle and how often. And with whom. Confidence. I keep working on that. The lifestyle has actually done wonders for me in that area, b/c I came from a degrading past, which is a challenge (and a blessing) to overcome. G.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I tell you, nothing beats confidence. But damn its annoying when someone is crazy cocky lol. I have a girlfriend that is CONVINCED that every man that talks to us is looking at her boobs and hitting on her lol. Its kind of grating on my nerves haha.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	sure, sure I meant sure LOL. Shell
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Play, from your pic I think you have a very nice body; very gorgeous breasts. I haven't seen your smile but I'm sore that is fantastic too! Jay, jay, jay! S N A P you are looking FINE! Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The greatest reply I got from a pic I posted was what a terrific smile preceding the fact that the body looked good. I couldn't believe a single guy actually noticed my smile and admitted it. Personally I don't think my body is anything great, it's just that I know what to do with it.
Olney IL			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Confidence and what else you bring to the table. Humor, wit, a relaxed non-goal orientated attitude. That's all you need. Some folks are OK...some are not. Since I attend clubs by myself, I get approached by all manner of folks, single males, etc. One evening several single men were present. I was also speaking to several couples. One couple with whom I had had limited contact ...merely asked if I would like to go to the other side. That was the sex side of this club. I thought for just a moment and said yes. I'm sure the others were wondering what the hell those folks did. It's simple really. They treated me like a person, engaged in small talk and were direct and confident in their approach. Very simple. We closed the club down...3 hours later. I totally agree with the OP. Relaxed confidence is the key. Mischief...knows TT has it too. wink
Glen Burnie MD			Username hidden (2785 post)

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