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No Need To Be Rude : Swingers Discussion 48766
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FORUMSSuccessful SwingingFinding PlaymatesNo Need To Be Rude
TOPIC: No Need To Be Rude
Created by: SPProd
Original Starting post for this thread:
If you're in the lifestyle for any period of time whatsoever, you're sure to encounter someone who just irks the living daylights out of you!!! Why don't people at least respond with a "No Thanks"? Why do some people immediately want you to send them every pic you have including your recent vacation? Why do some people seem to fall into a black hole (no pun intended!) after you meet?

Share experiences if you'd like, or make it a general discussion. Maybe we can ALL learn a little something. Can't we all just get along? hehehe

Have fun everyone!!!!

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We've gotten a few of those also London... usually the subject line will be something like "ur hot" or "whats up" and the body of the mail will be blank lol... I don't even bother responding to that sort of nonsense.

Windermere FL
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Lately we have been getting IMs with no words attached. Why would people want to do this? If you are going to IM someone at least say hello.

London KY
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"but that lack of courtesy tells you what you need to know"

Exactly, but why care if an email goes unanswered? We've sent a hello to someone we don't know on a swing site: if we hear back, great, if not, why give it a second thought?

The more upset someone gets because they've sent an email to a stranger and it went unanswered, the more of a red flag. (The stranger didn't do what we think they should, so we are upset and think bad thoughts about them? Doesn't sound like no expectations... )

Re IMing, feel free to send someone an IM. If they don't want to talk to you, they won't answer. (Maybe they can't take the time right now. Why take offense because someone doesn't answer an IM? Sounds like another red flag...) If they answer and seem cool, great, if not, cut it off and move on. Tell them "don't think we're a match". If someone won't take no for an answer you can block them so they can't IM or email you. No need to be hasty, but no need to waste your time when you know what you want.

Pismo Beach CA
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The IM etiquette issue can be a problem...if a profile includes an IM ID, then it is my expectation that the people in question are prepared to be contacted via IM. It is therefore very puzzling when you try to contact them via IM and they refuse to communicate with you or block you. Another example of rudeness. There is a lack of basic courtesy and commonsense with many folks, but that lack of courtesy tells you what you need to know. You can strike them off your list and move on.

Duncanville TX
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No reply is a reply.

Rochester NY
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I just had the oddest IM. Having emailed a single lady and not getting a reply, I tried to IM politely. She answered, then became snotty replying that her not answering was the normal way to say not interested. Then she took offense that I would IM, and said she thought it was rude that I would IM her. Am I in the wrong here? After >10 years in the lifestyle, I have never been so rude as to not at least reply to an email. Have things changed or are there "new rules" regarding contacting single women?

Harrisburg PA
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ventrman, those are called assholes ha. Unfortunately they make it into the club sometimes. Have fun and forget them. Shell


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freeguy, number one hello Austin, Texas ha. In regards to your question. Its honestly hard to say. Are there couples here looking for a patch in their marriage? Ummmm, yes. Probably more than I want to know about, ignorance as they say is bliss. However, there are bad apples in every tree. There are also married men cheating and posing as singles....single women looking for mr. right and end up getting emotionally attached to married people...humans by nature are fallible. Thats who we are. As a single man you have to be able to stand out above the crowd. Is it fair? No. But you are in a demographic that is honestly has a bad reputation by its very nature. Are there single men out here who do good and have fun? Oh yes, I know a few ha. Most of the single men I know though that do have fun are honestly good looking and successful. This is just a hobby. They do their own thing and if they are invited to a house party cool, if not they are at Fidos ha. It is not a need for them, just a nice diversion. You will not have much luck on a site I think...I think you will do better in the way of house parties and meet and greets. Best of luck to you, Shell


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this goes back to the "NOT LOOKING FOR KEN AND BARBIE", bull crap!!!! yes you are,!!! quit lying to yourself and the ones who right you!!! we cant all be perfect and beautiful like some of you think you are. i mean how boreing would this be if we all were perfect. my wife and i are absolutly beautiful people inside and out. more fun than a barrel of hookers and rubbers.

just stop being lazy ass holes and click no thanks its not that hard and it takes little to no effort at all.if clicking that button wears you out, then my wife and i will tear your world apart anyways. so we dont need you.

Pensacola FL
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We’ve had our share of emails just ignored… And I agree with everyone else, a simple No Thanks would be great! *smile*

I’m not sure why some people find it necessary to be so rude… maybe being ignored is better than receiving rude or “nasty” comments in response, but at least some kind of reply lets you know where you stand.

We recently had a couple chat with us after a friendly email & they seemed very nice so I sent them some of our pics… Now, I know we’re not for everyone – but our profile is pretty clear who we are & what we’re looking for (at least I think so) *smile* Well, I logged on the next day & was blocked by this couple!?! I guess they weren’t interested after all, but did we really need to be blocked? What’s the deal with that? A simple email or anything just to say thanks but no thanks would have been fine… We’re adults, we can take it! Guess they couldn’t… Oh well, just my rant for the day…

I wish you all wonderful experiences! (even those that might be tempted to ignore the occasional email) Let’s just all be adults and have a great time! *smile*

Turlock CA
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TOPIC: No Need To Be Rude