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Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers : Swingers Discussion 211543101
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TOPIC: Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers
Created by: azcouple3127
Original Starting post for this thread:
I’m curious to see how many others are experiencing what we are. We keep running into the same scenario. After a few seemingly promising emails the other couple simply vanishes. I almost expect it from free members or those who have no certs but several times members who look very legit and who have sought us out first based on our profile suddenly stop responding to email or worse cancel a meeting at the last minute and are never heard from again. What gives? After an initial flurry of activity after first joining the site we haven’t been able to set up a successful meet in almost a year. Are we doing something wrong?

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Definitely seems to be the rule and not the exception. Multiple contacts which appear promising at first. Emails and chats are exchanged. Compliments on pics and then poof. However I simply look at it as part of the environment and often enjoy the momentary connection. So in the end I can still see value. Then again I'm a newbie SM and apparently dim...??

Washington DC
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We've had a ton of interest which is very flattering and we've chatted back and forth a few times but in the end the couples are way more experienced than us and I don't want to let anyone down or leave anyone "hanging" lol. And we are also kinda picky, I am in my vanilla life so why not wait for what we really want. That said even the people we pass on we email and say why, except some straight males who obviously can't read.

Chicago IL
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Well, also consider the "change of heart" issue. When "we" decided to embark on the LS, it was ostensibly mutual...but I think it's really mostly the guy who wants to do this and is essentially OK with it...at least in our case. After meeting with others a few times, Syl's interest in continuing waned and ultimately evaporated. I've posted this in my/our profile, yet still get the occasional bird expressing an interest in meeting with both of us...not likely.

So I'm left with a lifetime membership and an occasional titillating visit. :(

Potomac Falls VA
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Good post by sweetgirl. "Vanishing" can happen for a variety of reasons. Since this is basically four way "dating", all it takes is one of the four to put the kibosh on playing. We've had a couple of times where either Mrs. Tempe or I just didn't feel that elusive "chemistry" at the initial meeting, and we politely let the other couple know it afterwards. Ditto for some promising emails/chatting. One thing that's frustrating is the "disappearance" without a word. People should at least have the courtesy to say that the chemistry wasn't there rather than leave the other couple hanging. That said, it really isn't worth getting all upset about.

Tempe AZ
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You are not alone here...happens to us all the time, to the point where we have a tendency not to trust new couples that contact us.

Say hello, exchange an email or two, open your pics, never hear from them again. :(

We also have issues with couples who disappear if you can't meet them within a week of first making contact with them. Which is fine with us, because those types of couples just want to hook up and move on in 99 percent of the cases - NOT what we're looking for here (although we don't judge people that are).


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Same old song and dance... It happens to everyone, don't take it personally. You'd think single guys trying to hook up with single guys would be easy but it even happens there too, trust me.

I figure it's better to keep weeding out those folks than to fret over it. Eventually we all meet some decent folks who aren't flakes and understand that we're not all looking for the exact same thing but can "overlap" enough to enjoy each other's company for a while.

Herndon VA
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Oh, and we have been in the LS for over 7 years and are a full swap couple. So, yes it happens to everyone even we seasoned swingers. We even had a guy friend who I told him about our party this weekend over 3 weeks ago and the night of the party I call him to confirm and he was like, "Oh, my buddy and I are going to this club in Michigan, I didn't think you were having the party." Really?!?!? Well, he got into a fight with some guy so it serves him right! He is now blocked from our little group. I guess your best bet and where we had the best luck was at private parties. I have also heard that clubs are good too although we have never been. Just make sure you tell people up front what exactly your preferences are. We always get mad when we get hot and heavy with a couple who wait until the last minute to tell us they are soft swap! That is why we like Partyperks(Illinois) because they have wrist bands that tell you the preference beforehand. We don't mind a soft swap if we know what we are getting into ahead of time.

Joliet IL
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If you think that is bad try hosting a party! Ha! We always get everyone telling us that we should have parties or invite us to your next party and when we do no one shows up! Gee, wonder why we don't want to host parties anymore?!?!?!?

Joliet IL
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I (male half here) will add that the first few months here were overwhelming regarding emails--and that was even with SMs blocked. I was lucky to have had a little previous experience here as a single guy, and so knew the ropes a bit, but we really got inundated when the couples' profile came up. Things dried up pretty quickly, though. We're kind of selective, and you can spot the BS artists and flybys pretty easily.

Taking this stuff slow and easy is the way to go.

Tempe AZ
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Regarding what another poster said. Single guys are by far the worst at this.

Mount Juliet TN
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TOPIC: Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers