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Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers : Swingers Discussion 2115431015
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TOPIC: Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers
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This thread has been most helpful. We are a bit new to this and have had this happen to us and we were confused. Couples would contact us, we would look over their profile, things would seem OK, a meet or dinner was arranged and then bam, they disappear and, in one case, block us. Not that we really cared one way or another, but we just wondered what was going on.

My wife and I mutually discuss everything before we proceed at all. Even the first reply to an e-mail (unless it is an obvious "not interested".) That can make us slow to respond to the first e-mail sometimes.

Actually we have yet to meet anyone on this site. It has been helpful for us to find events though. Speaking of events. It is interesting how different people look in their pictures than they do in person. Are these pics 10 years old or what?

Cocoa Beach FL
 
 
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In most cases we find with a couple that they are not both equally involved.

Maybe they tossed around the idea and he made a profile and ran with it, then when the meet is set shes like "WOAH, wait a minute? We just kinda talked about it a bit"

We have met a couple before where she had no idea why we were actually meeting, he figured once we had dinner and hung out "we could seduce her into it"

I think with us personally, there is usually a less than above board reason why they dont meet or cancel at the last minute.

We make it sooo easy and laid back. We generally have a "no play on first date" policy, unless they really want it. Its just meeting at a public place and having dinner. And we make it extremely clear there is no expectation beyond dinner.

I can understand anxiety and cold feet, but the way we do it, there is no real legitimate reason not to meet us after we agree.

Yes, life happens, things come up. But with the frequency that we get canceled on, we have heard the same excuses so many times that we honestly dont believe anyone anymore.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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The "vanishing couple" syndrome is pretty common here. We've arranged to meet a few couples at a meet and greet, and then they don't show up. Luckily, we haven't been stood up in a one-on-one meet, but it's fairly common, too. I agree with BR's comment that it's probably due to a case of the husband contacting the other couple, and then when the wife sees the pics, profile, etc., for some reason or other, it's a no-go. I think the best thing is to have the wife participate in the "screening" process as early on as possible so that you're both on the same page. And one other thing--if for some reason, there isn't a mutual attraction, the nice ting to do is to tell the couple so. Most of us are mature enough to handle rejection, for Pete's sake! :)

Tempe AZ
 
 
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"I just don't trust the whole chatting ad nauseum thing..doesn't ever seem to work out. "

I have found it doesn't work as well with couples. Because usually its very one sided. On the other hand, the SM's I have had chatted with prior to meeting it usually works out very well.

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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I think that is what happens....one member of the couple is doing the emailing, then the other takes a peek and decides to veto before the meet.

Pretty sure that is what happened to us. Couple who initiated contact (was the wife), chatted a few times in YIM, set up for a meet'ngreet, then no show. An hour later got a text apologizing, they overslept. She suggested dinner mid-week. We agreed. Contacted her the day in question and "he's not feeling well". After that, we never heard squat from them. We didn't push, sent one "hope you guys are well, sorry we couldn't make a meet" email. A week later she disappeared off our YIM contact list. Weird.

Other times we've been contacted, replied in kind, then hear nothing. Pretty sure either 1) they are just picture collectors or 2) the other half of the couple gave a veto.

While I (mrs svc) does all the e-stuff in here, I don't respond to emails in the positive before checking with mr svc. Not going to start something that he might not be interested. We both have to be in agreement before we go to the next step.

Las Vegas NV
 
 
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I think sometimes you're encountering a couple that really does swing, but it's the husband (sometimes wife) who initiates contact to get the ball rolling. The problem is that he'll keep exchanging messages, then the wife gets brought in toward the end and doesn't like their pics or feels like an outsider since the hubby is the one that has gotten to know them. So, they disappear.

Baton Rouge LA
 
 
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Ive just learned to accept it as part of the game. The overwhelming majority of people that we talk to and then set up to meet, back out.

There are many possible reasons, but it is the reality.

We have sadly become less personal lately with people and more of a "numbers game" mentality.

We wasted countless amounts of time emailing, chatting, texting, only to have people cancel last minute, or no show, after we practically became best friends by text.

So now, we exchange a couple of emails and then want to meet in person, G-rated, no sex, just hang out, grab a bite and chat that way.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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This can be a common thing. i think some people just like the fantasy of swinging and don't really want to do it. The other we have found on here is married men who have naughty pics of their wives and post them on here to seem legit. And then when you go to meet them they always tell you something like "we can't get a babysitter" or "my wife wasn't feeling well"; when in reality thier wife doesn't swing at all. Or we have had people who get mad at us for not having face pictures. Well, we are both professionals who could lose our jobs if we are found on here. Granted our companies can't straight out terminate us for it but they find an excuse. My guy was terminated from one of his jobs because they found out about are lifestyle when one of his co-workers overheard a conversation I was having with a playmate. It was a week after that my guy was terminated!

Joliet IL
 
 
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some of those threads in the forums were posted by people who have changed their profile names and therefore the old profiles were deleted and the posts.

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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We've noticed that the forums are littered with "The original post for this thread was deleted", presumably because they've deleted their account...

Fairview Heights IL
 
 
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TOPIC: Mysteriously Vanishing Swingers