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Complication of Indulging a Vanilla in the Rocky Road Lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 212040101
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FORUMSSuccessful SwingingFinding PlaymatesComplication of Indulging a Vanilla in the Rocky Road Lifestyle
TOPIC: Complication of Indulging a Vanilla in the Rocky Road Lifestyle
Created by: weenjoyrlife
Original Starting post for this thread:
My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for less than a year and we’ve found it difficult to locate progressive swingers – ones that like to develop a friendship before connecting sexually. I am more open to engaging sexually when first meeting a couple that we click with, but my wife really prefers someone she’s friendly with and has a sexual attraction to. She does not like exhibitionism or voyeurism and when we play, it’s always separate rooms and we are both comfortable with each other playing alone (although I would really enjoy same room with her, I really like the compersion).

Recently we ran into a guy that she knew many years ago from one of our local vanilla venues. They danced a few dances and began talking about the possibility of a date. He’s a very hot guy and I’d really love for her to have fun with him. He meets her criteria for friendship and attraction. He wondered why she was willing to have sex with him – he thought that I was not satisfying her and she explained about the lifestyle. You see – he’s vanilla and does not ‘get it.’ For us this is not a cuckolding thing, just her playing separate.

They have chatted several times and each time the conversation moved to how he could make her happier than me and that he’d like to see if they could be a couple. My wife continues to make it clear to him that dating him would just be for fun and that she loves me very much and has no intention of leaving me. He just can’t understand. My wife gets the sense that he may want a ‘sugar mamma.’

It now sounds like he may be losing interest. I’ve considered talking to him myself – something I’d definitely do before they would go out just to make sure that all seems right, but don’t think that would necessarily help the situation.

I’m looking for feedback from others who have had similar experiences that could provide insight and suggestions. Whether they worked out or not, I'd like to hear about it.

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It's been almost 2 weeks since the Misses has heard from her potential boy toy. I suppose he really got scared off. It's tough for her to find someone that she clicks with.

Trinity FL
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Looks like the votes so far are unanimous.

Got to say Ms. losamantes, you are indeed perfect.

sweetjzabelle...like your reply, really cuts to the chase (no pun intended).

Trinity FL
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To us, the whole point of swinging is NSA sex. When you start to bring relationship issues into the mix things get very complicated and it's not swinging anymore, at least by our definition. Whether you agree or not, what he appears to want is in fact cuckolding. If you're cool with that, go for it, but know it for what it is. Personally, I'd run like hell.

Virginia Beach VA
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Run Forest Run.

Spring TX
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Does not sound like it would work out well in the end, so I would run away.

East Brunswick NJ
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IMHO - sounds like he's looking for more than having a good lifestyle experience.

Might be too complicated in the long run.

I applaud you for your interest in seeing the Mrs. have a good time, but he seems like he's a little too "needy" for what you want.

But that's just me.

Jacksonville FL
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(2271 posts)
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My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for less than a year and we’ve found it difficult to locate progressive swingers – ones that like to develop a friendship before connecting sexually. I am more open to engaging sexually when first meeting a couple that we click with, but my wife really prefers someone she’s friendly with and has a sexual attraction to. She does not like exhibitionism or voyeurism and when we play, it’s always separate rooms and we are both comfortable with each other playing alone (although I would really enjoy same room with her, I really like the compersion).

Recently we ran into a guy that she knew many years ago from one of our local vanilla venues. They danced a few dances and began talking about the possibility of a date. He’s a very hot guy and I’d really love for her to have fun with him. He meets her criteria for friendship and attraction. He wondered why she was willing to have sex with him – he thought that I was not satisfying her and she explained about the lifestyle. You see – he’s vanilla and does not ‘get it.’ For us this is not a cuckolding thing, just her playing separate.

They have chatted several times and each time the conversation moved to how he could make her happier than me and that he’d like to see if they could be a couple. My wife continues to make it clear to him that dating him would just be for fun and that she loves me very much and has no intention of leaving me. He just can’t understand. My wife gets the sense that he may want a ‘sugar mamma.’

It now sounds like he may be losing interest. I’ve considered talking to him myself – something I’d definitely do before they would go out just to make sure that all seems right, but don’t think that would necessarily help the situation.

I’m looking for feedback from others who have had similar experiences that could provide insight and suggestions. Whether they worked out or not, I'd like to hear about it.

Trinity FL
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(21 posts)
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TOPIC: Complication of Indulging a Vanilla in the Rocky Road Lifestyle