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Chating before you meet : Swingers Discussion 180956
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TOPIC: Chating before you meet
Created by: jarheadandbabbs
Original Starting post for this thread:
We prefer to chat before we meet.Gives you an idea of what you might have in common with the other couple.And you learn a little about there personality. Second is dinner. Whay is it few couples like to chat?

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I hate when people think you are just supposed to give out your number and address after the first 3 words they say to you. This is still the internet and I don't know who I'm really talking to. You might want to rob me or rape my wife or something for all I know. I gotta talk through IM's an email until I get a good vibe from you. I ain't in no rush to meet nobody I ain't seen before

Atlanta GA
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I don't think that weird Fun, I agree with you. Chat for the purpose of seeing if we want to meet is fine, even chat to "get the juices flowing" in advance of a meet is good. But chatting for the sole purpose of "cybersex" does nothing for me...

Pottstown PA
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Guess I'm just weird, but I've never understood how guys "get off" by cyber chatting. It does nothing for me. Sure, it can arouse an erection; but hell, the wind blowing can do that. I just have trouble thinking about trying to type with one hand while using the other to waste a perfectly good erection on thin air. If I chat with someone online, it's only for the purpose of seeing if we want to meet, in the flesh.

Belle Chasse LA
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We tried the chat route when we were newbies and quickly found out that chatters tended to be all smoke and no fire, or just plain pervs. We can usually tell from someones profile, pics, and a few emails if we're a good match. The first couple we met with in the lifestyle has been our only bummer to date. Ironically we had seemingly endless chat sessions prior to meeting. Go figure.

Virginia Beach VA
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We don't like to chat due to the fact that the two of us are rarely online together, and also because so many people who want to chat seem to be male-halfs just looking to "get off". (Sorry, but it's true!)

We DO like to get to know someone before we meet...but we prefer an exchange of e-mails and face pics...if you don't have the trust and patience to do both with us, we're going to politely move on to the next interested couple.

I think past experience with people on SLS affects the way we deal with new people, sadly - but we can also say we've done a pretty good job at "screening" and haven't met any real oddballs yet! Sure, we've met people we didn't feel compatible with, but we have yet to have a "horror story" - and I think that has a lot to do with our screening process.

Love to hear what other couples' process is!

Pittsburgh PA
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A couple theories...

Some people just don't like chat... it's a medium where things can get misunderstood. For those people the phone can work wonders (use google voice and they don't have your real number).

Often only half of the couple is online and may not be comfortable without the other half being part of it.

Many of the people who 'ring' for chat can't seem to carry on a conversation or haven't read the profile and that just gets old.

Some people are just visual, they want to meet and take in the visual for their play or not decision.

There are distinctly different groups in the swing lifestyle... the meet and fuck NSA crowd and the relationship-oriented FWB crowd. The NSA peeps don't like spending much time conversing beforehand so they probably aren't a good match for a FWB anyway.

Tucson AZ
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Chatting via IM or email prior to an actual meeting is helpful to me as you can determine common interests without having to deal with the awkward 'trying to figure out what to talk about' at the first inperson meet. More time to actually enjoy the other peoples company rather than trying to figure out if you would enjoy their company. Not to mention weeding out the undesirables and possibly discussing rules with the potentials.

-M

Colleyville TX
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At least for us, part of the fun is chatting and making friends. We even have a very loose rule that we generally don't play on the first date. However, some couples, especially those with children, want to get to the 'good stuff' as quickly as possible because their free time is extremely limited. They don't want to spend a precious free night fruitlessly chatting with people when they really want to hook up.

Baltimore MD
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We prefer to chat before we meet.Gives you an idea of what you might have in common with the other couple.And you learn a little about there personality. Second is dinner. Whay is it few couples like to chat?

West Frankfort IL
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TOPIC: Chating before you meet