what seems to be the problem: Swingers Discussion 208189

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what seems to be the problem: Swingers Discussion 208189

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TOPIC: what seems to be the problem

Created by: agoodnight85	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	KandysWill, welcome to the Forums. You jumped in with some great advice about photos! agoodnight85, I agree with the advice you already got from TotalBabe and KandysWill. Your profile description could still use some tweaking, though apparently it has improved. Just creating a new paragraph between the sections where you refer to yourselves as "we" and the next part that uses "I" would be a good start. You mention frequently that she does or doesn't get a "nut." I figured out what was meant, but it is not a phrase I've read elsewhere here. It might be worthwhile figuring out another way to describe her response, and doing it in a variety of ways could be interesting. Almost all of your photos were taken with a camera phone, with the subject holding the phone. If the phone is all you have, get your partner to take the picture! That way you'll be able to pose in a lot of fun ways that don't involve holding the camera at arm's length. If you don't have editing software, you can edit your photos using the SLS photo options page after they have been uploaded.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6940 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hi Guys, Read carefully and digest what TotalBabe has written. She offers sound critques without being condescending and that is rare these days. We in this response are addressing photography specifically. "A picture is worth a thousand words". Consider what you say about yourselves with a few images? 1. Your social status. 2. Your dress. 3. Your attitudes. 4. Yourselves. It never ceases to amaze us how little effort is put into this element of a profile which can cast such a negative light on what you are trying to portray. Bathroom shsots are out. No one wants to see toiletries etc. Shots on Grandma's old couch are out. If you like antiques at least make sure that they are in somewhat good condition. Try smiles in shots. That way someone will at least know you have teeth and charm. If a facial expression conveys a message similar to "Darn, I should have not eaten that third Big Mac for lunch" the who is going to get to the point of further exploration? Make any photograph interesting, and maybe mysterious. If you are going to do Boob shots for example then think of a way to leave something to the imagination versus revealing all. Maybe one strap down revealing one and the other covered. Keep some pics private. Even if general ones. Part of the mystery. No political statements, religious statements, or judgemental statements should be in photography of this profile type. You can always develop thoughts etc. in conversation should you wish to venture that later. Buy or borrow a real camera. Cell phoneshots are poor quality at best. You have a computer so take a few minutes to crop and edit lighting. Make your "Splash" picture a good one. Everyone has a butt so that would not be as interesting as one of you as a couple in a good setting with you both looking interesting. Best, Kandy and Will
North Kingstown RI			Username hidden (18 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	agoodnight85, welcome to the forums! You see, I remember you posting your profile question a little while back, and I was writing a lengthy response. By the time I posted, you had already deleted your post... I was like, WTF? So things have not improved? Points for you for using spell checker :) I see you have added a few pictures, that's good that we can see both male and female, I believe, before you did not have pictures of him back then. So, you are good here. It just still gets me, that you have those self-taken-in-the-bathroom-mirror pictures. Anyway, many people do, so maybe that is a new trend, just not in my book. I myself am not crazy about profiles that are not written consistently, and by that I mean your profile looks like some sentences were written by male, some by female, and some by both. Makes your profile sound confusing. Try to keep it uniform, by using "we" throughout OR "he/she". Using "I" in couple's profile just does not sound right. the "No bi men, it is gross!" comment is very standoffish and carries a lot of unhealthy attitude. So bi women are not gross? Hmmm? Also, this line, "My man is black and it isn't going to change, so if you have a problem with it please don't message us" is loaded with bad attitude as well. Negative comments in a profile will turn many people away from you. It could be as simple as the fact that you both smoke. It could be the fact that you don't want women thicker than your female half. It could be the fact that you see your lack of responses as a problem. There. You, thinking that there is a problem, is probably your biggest problem. This is not to be taken so seriously. Swinging is supposed to be fun. You are not having fun. Perhaps it is time to step back and re-evaluate your attitude towards lifestyle. Possibly you have been expecting way too much right from the start. The best way to approach is to not have expectations. Hopes? Yes, but no expectations; expecting anything in the lifestyle will disappoint you. Have you tried to get out to a local Meet & Greet? In person, profile and pictures do not matter. You might have more opportunities to connect in person. Just try to have fun and do not take this so seriously and personally. Good luck!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1929 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hi you guys and welcome! I peeked at your profile and saw you just joined last month. I'll be honest with you and tell you that sometimes it can take a while to feel like you're getting decent responses. For us, where we live, there definitely seems to be a "season" to things. Basically nothing for months and then we were inundated with requests in August and it looks like it's continuing this month. My advice to you guys, for what it's worth: Log in frequently. It shows you as online today as opposed to "last on over 7 days ago". It shows you're active. We basically ignore people who don't log in often. Tweak your profile. Not saying you have to, but as you look around SLS, you see what other people's profile say and you might want to incorporate some of their ideas. Don't copy word for word! But you might like how someone phrases something. Also...make sure everything on your profile is grammatically correct and you use correct punctuation. This is a bigger deal breaker than most people think. Tweak your pictures. Again...not saying you have to, but having some really nice, tasteful pictures showing the BOTH of you goes a long way when couples are trying to decide if they want to contact/respond to you. Make sure your approach email is thoughtfully composed and well written with proper grammar and punctuation. Always attach a face pix/open your galleries to anyone you email. And remember....sometimes no response is a response. Just make a note on the couples profile that they didn't respond (so you don't bug them again) and move on. Best of luck to you! PS - Did you know you can check and see if the person/couple opened your email?
Wailuku HI			Username hidden (440 post)

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TOPIC: what seems to be the problem