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single male profiles : Swingers Discussion 224534
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TOPIC: single male profiles
Created by: bkrbi4more
Original Starting post for this thread:
I've been doing this a long time... online dating/sex profiles, that is. I always get a lot of compliments on mine but I never get a lot of response to my queries. I attribute a lot of that to the fact that 1) I'm married and playing solo, 2) I'm bisexual and open about it, 3) I'm a "single" male. All three tend to be limiters from my experience and combined they are kryptonite (at least for me).

I suspect a certain amount of it is also the way I write my emails. I have tried humorous, I have tried serious, I have tried light-hearted honesty, and I've tried "brutal" honesty. In 10 years, I've met two couples as a solo bi male. (One of which I dated the wife, primarily, for over a year and one of which was always a triad situation but the wife started to have feelings for me and we had to cool it for the sake of their relationship.) My wife and I met two other couples when my wife and we had a couples profile.

I'm not looking to rack up numbers or screw different people every weekend but I'm not looking for forever either.

For you couples out there, at least vaguely interested in bi-play for the men, how difficult do you tend to make it for the guys? What is it you look for and when?

For you single bi guys, have you found a successful formula for getting past the first or second email?

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Thank you for the kind words Mrs98. "Not creepy" is definitely part of what I'm going for in my profile.

I actually saw your profile and thought, "man if they were just a little closer". Good to know that's not entirely just wishful thinking...

The dynamic of playing with half a couple is definitely a big factor, I think, in my lack of "action". I know I often assume married men with solo profiles are cheating (and have been proven right with almost every single one I've communicated with) so I can understand many people assume I am as well, no matter what I say. That's the nature of the beast, I guess. The few people that have actually spoken with my wife are always reassured I'm not a liar or a cheat. It's getting to that point that is difficult.

Anyway, thanks again for the feedback.

Herndon VA
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(272 posts)
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If you were closer and you contacted us, there would at least be some email/IM chatting. Your profile is fun to read- I love the thought of triangles, circles, squares and pretzels... We are a bi-male friendly couple, and we say we will consider playing with half of a couple if everybody is aware, but I don't think I have ever seen a profile of such a guy that has made me feel as comfortable as yours, so kudos for not being "creepy". That being said, playing with half of a couple is still something that requires a different dynamic than with a single guy, so I wish you good luck in finding playmates! =) Mrs 98

Philadelphia PA
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(37 posts)
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thanks swgoldencpl, I appreciate the feedback. Regardless of demographic, though, do you prefer short initial contact, IMs, comprehensive novellas, humor, or what?

I try to be polite but direct without being pushy. I try humor and honesty, and generally just try to put a bit of my personality into my emails to folks. Invariably, though, if I read the messages again later, they often feel like a template or fill-in-the-blank type message.

I'll keep banging away at it, I guess. Eventually I'll meet folks that appreciate my style and match my demographic.

Herndon VA
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(272 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I've been doing this a long time... online dating/sex profiles, that is. I always get a lot of compliments on mine but I never get a lot of response to my queries. I attribute a lot of that to the fact that 1) I'm married and playing solo, 2) I'm bisexual and open about it, 3) I'm a "single" male. All three tend to be limiters from my experience and combined they are kryptonite (at least for me).

I suspect a certain amount of it is also the way I write my emails. I have tried humorous, I have tried serious, I have tried light-hearted honesty, and I've tried "brutal" honesty. In 10 years, I've met two couples as a solo bi male. (One of which I dated the wife, primarily, for over a year and one of which was always a triad situation but the wife started to have feelings for me and we had to cool it for the sake of their relationship.) My wife and I met two other couples when my wife and we had a couples profile.

I'm not looking to rack up numbers or screw different people every weekend but I'm not looking for forever either.

For you couples out there, at least vaguely interested in bi-play for the men, how difficult do you tend to make it for the guys? What is it you look for and when?

For you single bi guys, have you found a successful formula for getting past the first or second email?

Herndon VA
Username hidden
(272 posts)
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TOPIC: single male profiles