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profile review : Swingers Discussion 194953
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TOPIC: profile review
Created by: naughtynfunlover The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Naughty,

1) Lose the external contact info. SLS has been known to take profiles down for that.

2) Put her weight in your stats. Leaving her weight as 0 leaves it up to the reader to guess how much she is not Barbie...from our own experiences with 0-pounders, we can tell you leaving it blank is *not* working in your favor. :(

3) As I read your profile, I found the first three sections sounded confusing and repeat themselves to a certain degree. For someone wanting to learn about who you two are, and what you are seeking in a play partner, this could be a turnoff. Also, I got a negative feeling on how you described her bi limits, maybe tone it down to "she is bi-receptive, but prefers not giving at this time." Short, sweet and positive sounding.

4) Double check your spelling, word usage, punctuation and grammar. Remember, your profile is your first impression to others. As Fun alluded, don't be shy in asking for a profile proofread after you've posted profile changes, there are plenty of very knowledgeable members glad to take a look and offer you constructive feedback in this area. (Sadly, there are also plenty of members that will tell you not to worry about grammar/spelling/punctuation...)

Overall feedback, consider rewriting your profile to keep the section content more in line with the respective headers: Section 1 - We Are Looking For; Section 2 - Description, etc. To paraphrase Kind, stay positive and write for your target audience...those are the swingers you want to meet. :)

Mr TF3

Saint Paul MN
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(475 posts)
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Dammit KindDragon, while I was composing you beat me to the punch and stole my thunder. GMTA. :)

Belle Chasse LA
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(10938 posts)
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Naughty, welcome. I'm not sure why you're asking for help, since your certs reflect that you've had no trouble meeting people. But since you asked, please accept these thoughts in the constructive manner I intend them. 

You stress "POSITIVE" as the kind of people you seek, yet your entire first paragraph is quite negative. I think most people respond better when they read "what we're seeking" and it describes the person reading it. A long list of don'ts isn't my idea of how to start. 

You also go to lengths describing yourselves in that section, instead of putting that description where it belongs, in the "Description" section. And your description sounds very defensive about your body type. Just put your stats and photos out there and let people decide attraction on their own, without explanation.  

It's also ironic that you express disdain for people who make judgements superficially, but then label as "sickly" anyone who is thin. 

You also include a lot of stuff that doesn't matter to anyone, such as, that you heard about this site from friends. Try to streamline things. 

There are numerous punctuation, capitalization, and spelling errors. "Their" is the possessive form, "they're" is a contraction of "they are," and "there" is another homonym that doesn't refer to people at all. Some people notice things like that, and there are too many errors in your profile to list them all. 

My best advice is to take a long look, really think through what you're trying to say, and then rewrite the whole thing. You have to put real thought, effort, and attention into it. 

I would wish you good luck, but again, based on your certs it looks like you've already found it. Cheers. :) 

Belle Chasse LA
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(10938 posts)
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TOPIC: profile review