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TOPIC: profile
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| Created by:
RealFantasys
Original Starting post for this thread: |
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hello everyone,
we are new to this site,and was wondering if someone could review our profile and see what we could do to make it better and more attractive |
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First impressions are important. Double check your spelling, syntax and punctuation, following the basic rules for each. For instance, a comma is followed by a space, not another comma.
Reformat your sections and develop a paragraph structure to group common ideas in each section. As written, you're essentially creating a new paragraph for each sentence, creating a very distracting flow to the gentle reader. Good luck, we'll check back, Mrs TF3 |
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Fort Snelling MN |
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(463 post)
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.No expiation!
I think you mean no exception here too. But the profile now is much easier to read! It seems like the ideas are more broken up, and people will like how it looks too. Good luck. |
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San Antonio TX |
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(4093 post)
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thank you very much,,we have redone it,,if you have time please have a look
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Shippingport PA |
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(2 post)
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Okay, it's distracting to read with all the commas instead of periods. And you need to use punctuation. There are real glaring spelling errors, so comb back over it just a bit with a spell check. Not every word has to be perfect...it will lose personality if it was perfect, but "exceptions" is a big part of your profile and should be spelled correctly to be taken seriously.
Also, use a separate sentence for your bdsm play and for your outside interests such as camping. Other than that, I think you're clear about what you're looking for. It may take a bit to find just that right group of people, but good luck, G. |
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San Antonio TX |
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(4093 post)
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hello everyone,
we are new to this site,and was wondering if someone could review our profile and see what we could do to make it better and more attractive |
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Shippingport PA |
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(2 post)
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Posts: 1-5 of 5 post - GoTo Page:
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TOPIC: profile
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