Ok, I've composed myself....
I did like the quote "been there,done that,got the t-shirt"

I would lighten up on bragging about your oral skills, the last guy we met that bragged, turned out to be pretty inept for wifey. I think it's best to leave that a mystery, and let her be surprised if you get the opportunity.

LMFAO !!!!!!
Dammit, I just spit coffee all over myself!

(no disrespect to the op)

you're one angry dude aren't you?

Agree with previuous post. My biggest turn off when dealing with singles males is 1. They arent smiling 2.They sound angry. We are in this to have fun so an angry profile will get you no where.

What SLO said!

Oh man, where to begin?... Let's start at the top and work through this... The pictures. You might try some where you're smiling and seem like someone pleasant enough to want to meet. A shot of your body would be a good idea too. Think of the clothed pictures of women you see that you like, why is that? Chances are it's because they show their best assets and they look approachable. As for the body of text. Ugh! Dude, are you generally this pissed? Because if you are there is little to no chance you're getting anywhere near my wife. Some clippings: "I am looking for a couple who is interested in letting me play with them. " I would ask, why? Why is that the very first line of your profile? Why aren't you looking for women first and then couples? ". I also would love to find a single female who is interested in the lifestyle that would want to play with me.Prefer her to be bi, but not a necessity." Huh? why the preference she be bi? So you can feed your FF fantasy? You'd be doing well to merely find a woman interested in this hobby without being so specific. Which leads to... "I am not one who is into BBW's just not my preference, a little overweight is ok" Hey everyone has preferences, the hobby pretty well demands it in fact. But also realize 5' 9" and 245# is not exactly what most would consider svelte; just an observation. ". anyway if my criteria is not too much for you look me up. YEAH JUST AS I SUSPECTED!! The B.S. is killing me... If you are not interested please dont patronize me! I am so tired of the little games that everyone seems to be playing!" Lighten up, Francis. This is a hobby for fun, not angry people. Angry spells drama and you may have noticed, most profiles specify..."No Drama" Another thing to consider, you have a lot of "I" comment in the area where you are supposed to be describing who you are looking for. Consider moving these "I" comments to the area describing who you are. In fact, you should seriously consider a complete rewrite. When you do, try and be positive, try and appear as though you're someone worth knowing, try and describe what sets you apart from the single knuckleheads with a profile here, seem approachable and pleasant. Try typing your profile in Word and use the spell and grammar check, then c&p into your profile. Lastly, your profile has been on this site for a month? Patience is a virtue, especially for the single guy in this hobby. If you have none, try and develop some or continue to be pissed and complain that there is too much BS here. Best of luck.