I am looking for couples or single ladies that have drama. Not a tiny bit either, I want Jerry Springer blocked your phone calls drama! If our relationship ends without a protective order or multiple instances of Police involvement, we didn’t try hard enough.

I am attracted to those that don’t have photos, don’t look like their photos or only have photos from 5 or 10 years ago. Glamour Shots and mullets are cool. Height and weight are just arbitrary numbers; list your dream numbers or use your favorite lottery numbers like I do.

It’s my hope your relationship is extremely fragile and you have turned to swinging and the alternative lifestyle to fix it. The jealousy issues one or both of you once had are surely long gone. I will expect communication will only occur with the Mr. The Mrs. should be totally clueless her photos are on a swinger website and we have been planning a meet up. It’s perfectly fine for him to communicate all of her fantasies to me and for him to establish her boundaries for her. We can either text forever and never meet or you can surprise me at our first meeting that she doesn’t know this is a swinger date and “I’m just a work friend”. It’s not a problem at all, I need practice with my improv skills.

I reserve a special place in my heart for those that are adverse to soap, water, tooth paste and deodorant. Extra points if you haven’t been to the dentist in a decade.

I am also seeking single females. Similar attributes as above. Psychotic and bat-shit crazy to the front of the line. The more emotional baggage, the hotter it is!

*********** Yes, total sarcasm above. Let’s have a bit of fun and maybe I’ll make it live on my profile!!