Just bring the ladder, 12ft is perfect. I have a midget on stand by 24 hours a day. ;)

Styles - Too bad LA is only a 15 hour drive for us. We've actually got all of our teeth, educated, and invest in our profile too.

And by the way, we've got everything but a midget. But couldn't one simulate the midget by just having the other stand on the step ladder? Wait, wait, just realized. That's what the whip cream if for. To cushion the high dive off the ladder. And that's a 12' step ladder you're looking for right?

any screen name with 'hot' (we'll be the judge of that), 'bi' (zero chance they're talking about both, usually just the female half), 'harley' (um, we can figure out that's all you do by the 20,000 pics of your motorcycle(s)), or the name of any vehicle (mustang, corvette, etc.)

when they use couples AND single females in the same sentence when describing what they're looking for.

when the tag line has obvious poor spelling.

What makes us click away?

We're the type that will meet damned near anyone, but we will pass on certain profiles. We require a bit of class... not much, just a bit!

- If a profile looks like it was written by someone with a third grade education. Fourth grade is OK, third grade... nope. LOL! Come on!

- No pics of the guy, or just close ups of a cock.... does nothing for me.

- Only close-ups of a womans crotch.... does nothing for me or hubby.

Just a bit of class please. :)

people who say "looks don't matter." Of course they do! Just write your preferences and dislikes and go from there.
If someone writes "looks don't matter," we usually find them to seem desperate. Or willing to fuck anything. Not too much quality there.

Looks may not be your PRIORITY, but they do, indeed, matter.

Well looks like no one on here would like us. We are young, physically fit, attractive, and are both really good at oral. I have an 8 inch cock, and can usually go all night. The good news is I am not highly educated, I went to SLU. Although my other half got her degree from UC Berkeley so I guess we fail again. :(

Oh well. I guess we are stuck playing with other hot, young couples who are educated, take care of themselves, and love to please with their mouths. I think I am okay with that though.

"We are looking for attractive physically fit people only as we are."

Translation: you are to perfect for anyone to take you seriously.

"We have been together for 4 months and married for 3 months. We are madly in love and just want a little spice in our life."

Translation: we can't wait to tear our relationship apart and take you with us.

You won't be hearing from us with this stuff in your profile.

most of the things that turn us off from a profile have already been mentioned: poor spelling, sentences that make no sense, profiles that are more than 2 years old without any certs., no pics or just 1 pic of a young beautiful girl, members who don't list their weight, pics of people with cigarettes in their hand or mouth (sorry, if you can't put a cigarette. down long enough to have your pic taken you're not for us). free members are a turn off for us as well. ultimately they want to see pics of us and being free they can't view them on sls. then they want to email through private email. again, sorry but they're not for us. if they're serious about the lifestyle a lifetime membership is cheap.

we are d/d/d (disease,drama,drug) free. we like to drink socially and 420 friendly. People SLS supply's spell check it's your friend use it.

Misspellings. Run on sentences.
"very attractive couple"
One line in each category.
No pics.
Lots of text type writing.