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We need help : Swingers Discussion 215959101
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TOPIC: We need help
Created by: WannaTry808
Original Starting post for this thread:
Aloha all,

Ok...we have been having basically *zero* luck on here. We are analyzing our situation and would like to ask for some help. Could you all take a look at our profile and let us know if you'd want to meet us.

I am working on uploading some new pix as hubby and I have both lost weight, but I am having the most awful time uploading (pictures are showing up pixelated, etc.), but I will keep trying. All of our pix are less than a year old.

Is it our choice of pictures? Hubby feels it's him; that he takes bad pictures.

Is it our written profile? Do we sound stupid or arrogant or lame or boring??

Our problem is that we don't get emails. I'm serious. We don't. Maybe over the course of a month we'll get 6-8 emails and that *includes* the ads from SLS! When we email a couple (yes, we open our galleries when we approach), most of the time, we don't get any response.

It's getting pretty disheartening. Maybe we think more of ourselves than we should, but we feel we're a pretty decent couple.

Mahalo!

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@swgolden - Thank you so much for your insight and help. We really appreciate it.

We see the terms "HWP" and "fit" on nearly everyone's profiles and figured it's a common term. To us, HWP/fit means not super-overweight. A few extra pounds are fine with us as that's what we are. But we went ahead and changed out wording.

You know...we'd rather wait for the right people to fulfill our *dreams* than just meet up and *do* anyone. Our private sex life is already amazing, we just are looking for that something extra special and can definitely wait for it. It gets frustrating most of the time, but we're just impatient. LOL

Very interesting study! And very true...at least for hubby and I and the solo action we've done. {wink-wink}

Lahaina HI
 
 
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@mrs sav - I agree about playing for the purpose of fulfilling *our own* fantasies. I shall find a way to more tactfully say we prefer full swap experiences but will not rule out a fun soft swap time.

RE: "drunk bi" - True! LOL I had seen that on someone else's profile. It's totally true, but I shall reword that. :)

RE: I shall reword the part talking about hubby's preference for women to have hair. He thought he was being nice by saving a woman the time to have to shave/wax before playing with us as he really does like some hair down there, but that statement seems to cause a concern, so we shall remove it.

RE: "hourglass figure" - Wow! Another statement we had no idea that it would cause so much concern. We shall definitely reword all of that.

We see on sooo many profiles couples stating the are only interested in playing with HWP/fit people or people that are totally shaved. I shall rethink our wording.

RE: "younger guys" - But I just love younger guys! LOL I see what you're saying and will reword that part. (And keep the younger guys just for the solo action. LOL) :)

***Thank you everyone for your responses! We totally appreciate your constructive criticism and suggestions. We shall work on our profile right now!

Lahaina HI
 
 
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@swgolden - Too intimidated to contact us?? Why?? Our choice of pictures or the writing? Are we coming across as stuck up??

RE: hubby prefers "hair down there" on a women. It's not a deal breaker if she's shaved or waxed (as that is the standard in the LS), it's just a personal preference of his. Maybe I should stress that?

RE: I'll double check my phrasing about HWP/fit. I know, I know it's super shallow of us to prefer people who are HWP/fit, but....we're into the lifestyle for the fantasy of it all. I'm ashamed to admit that we've played with couples that have NOT visually turned us on very much. We SHOULD have left at the meet, but didn't (for stupid reasons) and it didn't turn out very well. So...we are definitely not doing that again.

Thank you swgoldencouple! I will double check those items you mentioned.

Lahaina HI
 
 
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@outdoors - Thank you very much. I appreciate your advice and will give a 2nd look to those parts of our profile.

RE: "full swap preferred" - I wrote that mainly because after all the time, effort and money it takes to arrange a playdate, I want to get "down and dirty". We don't have time to sit and chat for hours and "become friends first". BUT....I will see if I can maybe say it in a better way.

RE: "prefers hourglass figures" - Yeah, call him shallow, but he's tired of only being offered "non-hourglass" women so far. How could we say this better??

Yes, I agree. We like people who are open minded and flexible, too. But should I not spell out what it is we are looking for? I figured that would save us and "them" time. Our playtime is VERY limited, so we thought we should be specific. I certainly don't want to lie or mislead people and write (for example) that we like soft swap when we actually don't.

Thank you again, Outdoors!

Lahaina HI
 
 
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" In general, people don't meet you to fulfill your fantasy. People meet, get comfortable, and play to everyone's strengths."

Frankly I am far more interested in my OWN fantasy than yours. What that means is we will not in any way play down our preference to suit yours...if we're not compatible than so be it. We aren't here to make concessions just to have the opportunity to "play" with anyone. We don't ask or expect you to step up to our level and shame on anyone who'd expect us to step down a level or 2 to suit theirs. That being said we are and seek full swap couples. If that is not someones comfort level we are not interested PERIOD! I think it is perfectly acceptable and preferred that a couple lay that right on the table.

As to your profiles I see no glaring issues but I would completely remove the word "drunk" in relating to Bi curious NO ONE wants to play with drunk people and although I am sure it wasn't your intent to portray yourself that way it gives a bad vib. Simply state you are playfully BI on rare occasion but prefer me and leave it at that.

Most of the women in the lifestyle are shaved or trimmed, it is fine he "prefers" hair but if it isn't a deal breaker I'd reword that sentence to read in such a way to invite shaved women to feel they too fit the bill. You mention he likes an hour glass figure. That means many different things> Are you saying he prefers curvy and isn't attracted to reed thin girls, or he wants them slender, fit and tight toned abs with a tiny waist? Hour glass can imply hippy and busty or slender with implants lol ...see what I mean? You also mention you "prefer" younger guys but since you are seeking couples a younger guy is typically going to have a younger wife.......much harder to get her to want to play with an "older" gentleman. If your 44 younger would be what 25 to 40? His partner will probably be 23 to 37 ....see how that might make things uncomfortable for her? Your hubby is 48 some "younger" women might jump through hoops for him but generally speaking people stick within 10 years of their own range. So that 3o year old hot guy might be totally into you but his wife might be like "seriously?? He's too old for me! Frankly I'd remove that comment and let the chips fall where they may.

I find nothing "wrong" with your profile but I think you are unintentionally excluding people who you probably are actually seeking.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Wanna, you are definitely attractive, both physically and in personality. While it's good to have standards, these points jump out at me:

- "Full swap is preferred" -- OK, but wouldn't you only know that after you've met someone? Do you go straight to "full swap" without any warmup time? Does it matter what the other couple likes?

- "He prefers an hourglass figure" -- well, don't we all? But you've just dissed 99.7% of the population here. Everyone else feels substandard.

We like people who are open minded and rather flexible in their play. In general, people don't meet you to fulfill your fantasy. People meet, get comfortable, and play to everyone's strengths.

Even on the continent, and even with flexible standards and tolerances, it's hard to find a compatible couple.

Flat Rock NC
 
 
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Aloha all,

Ok...we have been having basically *zero* luck on here. We are analyzing our situation and would like to ask for some help. Could you all take a look at our profile and let us know if you'd want to meet us.

I am working on uploading some new pix as hubby and I have both lost weight, but I am having the most awful time uploading (pictures are showing up pixelated, etc.), but I will keep trying. All of our pix are less than a year old.

Is it our choice of pictures? Hubby feels it's him; that he takes bad pictures.

Is it our written profile? Do we sound stupid or arrogant or lame or boring??

Our problem is that we don't get emails. I'm serious. We don't. Maybe over the course of a month we'll get 6-8 emails and that *includes* the ads from SLS! When we email a couple (yes, we open our galleries when we approach), most of the time, we don't get any response.

It's getting pretty disheartening. Maybe we think more of ourselves than we should, but we feel we're a pretty decent couple.

Mahalo!

Lahaina HI
 
 
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(502 posts)
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TOPIC: We need help