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Too much emphasis on certs yes or no : Swingers Discussion 207841
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FORUMSSuccessful SwingingBetter ProfilesToo much emphasis on certs yes or no
TOPIC: Too much emphasis on certs yes or no
Created by: DucatiRider The original post for this thread was deleted.
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This reminds me of the old job application conundrum where everyone wants to hire someone with experience, but you can't get experience unless someone will hire you. Big Catch-22.

Elkton MD
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Re: livewirecpl comments "we do require another step before we show our privates. Its a simple one. Please snap a pic, showing your faces and hands holding a sign with your profile name on it."<br />

We once had a big fancy house up on the hill. We call a local contractor in to install a very large back patio that stretched around the house..not a cheap investment of his time.

Long story short, when he was all done he asked us to stand in front of the newly finished patio for a photo......dummy me, it did not dawn on me until several days later as I was sitting there that he likely been burned before and just covering his butt with proof that he was there at the time the concrete was wet.


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livewire - its worked well as the ones that came back with the requested pic proved they were real. Between 1/3 to 1/2 of these profiles have both with face shots in publics. Everyone has a phone with camera these days so taking a pic to prove you are real and move things along is not a huge deal

Additionally part of our note to the uncerted profile states why they can be less "concerned" on opening pics first to us. Below iis it and we believe its relevant:

You on the other hand have the confidence we are real because we have multiple certs. Each one of those certs has multiple certs. Almost everyone of these 100's of combined certs are paying members. For a faker to achieve that level of certification would require a faker purchasing over a 100 profiles. We think all can recognize that isnt going to happen and so it is sufficiently proven we are real.

No they will not see our face pics first but one side or the other has to make that first step. Our pic policy is if we approach another couple first, we do so with open face pics. If approached, we expect them to open first. We state this in our profile. So all together its probably no shock that we do not approach uncerted couples. So when this request is sent, its to a profile that approached us.

Bottom line that are a lot of fakers on here. We trust the real couples in the lifestyle. Almost all are wonderful people who respect and value others discretion. But simply having a profile doesn't mean you are in the lifestyle. Our discretion is more important to us then showing our pics. So this is a way to assure we are much more protected from our private pics being "stolen" or wasting time on a whacker. If it puts off a profile/couple, our assumption is they are not real. If they are real and bothered by the request, c'est la vie, We know how to have fun when we want to and aren't going to lose sleep over it.

Morganton NC
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There are a fair amount of fakers on here and We'd place them at well over 50% when you include no pics no certs, short profiles. We wish to protect ourselves from these fakes and feel the cert system is an effective indicactor of whether the profile is "real" or not

We have found that 9 out of 10 no cert profiles either are fakers or at bare minimum don't want to meet and wow never accomplish getting certed even after years of being on here. Additionally they will offer no proof of being what they say they are via various ways including our current approach described below or a quick phone call. Lets face it the fakes are men and a phone call with a woman sure raises the "real " odds!

We do not look at the certs as kiss and tell or bed knotching. We look at them as swinger security and dramatically increases our personal identity security. It also gives a bit of insight but we do discount that some as people cert people from parties as a courtesy

We don't consider a profile sufficiently certed until at least two paying members have certed it. We know a lot of people from parties and everybody who is real has this accomplished in short order. So we feel based on our experience most understand the value it serves and protects us from fakes.

We do not exclude no certed profiles but they must provide clear pics. If the pics are intriguing to us we do require another step before we show our privates. Its a simple one. Please snap a pic, showing your faces and hands holding a sign with your profile name on it.

Pretty hard for a faker to go back to someone they stole pics from and get that snapshot! They either go away or prove themselves and that is exactly what we are looking for. we have a quick reply where we politely state our case, the whys and so its quick to use.

Morganton NC
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I have met ppl without any certs received or given.. they are somewhat misleading (lack thereof I mean).

Dardenne Prairie MO
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And I would never attempt to tell you otherwise, I speak for myself and my experiences. Nothing more, nothing less.

Rumson NJ
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Seduction,

You make my very argument. Sex between Janie and I is intimate. Sex with the rest of the world is pure sport, fun, and sometimes funny. Your sex is not for the rest of the globe. We like sex on the pool table for everyone to see, and even to participate in to a limited extent.

Enjoy the Difference

Pasadena CA
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This discussion has become very legalistic in two very different and very narrow ways. It's almost painful to read. The more intense it has become the more freedom you forfeit. In the lifestyle we are a part of it is the difference between people that keeps our hearts pounding. There is ONLY ONE OPINION THAT COUNTS. Our opinion. We don't submit our opinion to anyone for approval or disapproval. Likewise our respect for your opinion is unchallengeable. We will never tamper with your opinion.

apprécier la différence

Pasadena CA
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*Certs for couples and single females represent, in my opinion, a notch on the bedpost. It's a journal entry into the couple's or single female's diary of promiscuity. They leave a trail a mile long and there's never the right number of them - too many and you're labeled a slut; too few and people question whether you're good in the sack.*

We got tired of being asked about our certs, we had plenty. People for some reason feel that, certs is a cookie trail to your shagadalic extra curriculum activities. It didn't matter that we didn't shag 99% of those who certed us. We were the sluts that fucked around indiscriminately, when nothing could be further from the truth. So we deleted them. Deleted all of the ones that we gave, and deleted the ones that we received. But we also deleted them, because with time we changed our outlook on the topic. And we find it genuinely distasteful, just as we do about braggers who pronounce in every other word that leaves their mouth that they boinked, licked and/or sucked 3 times a day. Sex for us is intimate, it's an activity reserved for those who are involved, and not the rest of the globe.

So we don't really focus on certs (come to think of it, never did). And we don't need to justify ourselves to anyone, there are plenty fish in the swing ocean. We don't have a problem meeting people, certs or otherwise.

Rumson NJ
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I'm not questioning the usefulness of certs, CT... I'm questioning your right to demand justification. I don't need to justify anything to you.

We don't have certs, if that bothers you then move on. No justification needed, and no loss on our end.

Kalona IA
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TOPIC: Too much emphasis on certs yes or no