Profile too wordy: Swingers Discussion 211291

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TOPIC: Profile too wordy

Created by: Naughty_Horizons Original Starting post for this thread:
Hey all, We've been on here the better part of a year, tried tinkering here and there with our profile and through it all it got longer and longer. Now, interest and responses have pretty well dried up. Do you think it runs too long? Or does it seem we're asking for the wrong thing? Heh - It seems I should have paid better attention in marketing class! Thus, your honest feedback would be appreciated! -Naughty_Horizons

Created by: Naughty_Horizons
Original Starting post for this thread:

Hey all,

We've been on here the better part of a year, tried tinkering here and there with our profile and through it all it got longer and longer.

Now, interest and responses have pretty well dried up.

Do you think it runs too long? Or does it seem we're asking for the wrong thing?

Heh - It seems I should have paid better attention in marketing class!

Thus, your honest feedback would be appreciated!

-Naughty_Horizons

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User Details are only visible to members.	Looks good! Now be sure to let us know if you get more action from your edited profile.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6973 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Fixed! (Honestly, I thought I'd deleted that duplicative stuff in the profile yesterday...) :) Weights posted - a touchy subject with the Mrs. She is cursed (blessed) with German genetics- meaning she's built thick and could be a power lifter, even though her body fat content is a lot lower then what you'd expect for her weight. That leaves her just a lot bit frustrated...
Saint Paul MN			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I guess more is not necessarily more when it comes to these profiles." We prefer longer, well fleshed-out profiles. To a point. When you start repeating yourself or filling space with dates you tried different things/clubs, that is bad. Your profile has the same self-descriptive information repeated in both the first and second sections. :) Recommend you redo the first section to truly describe what you are looking for in others, unless you only want clones... Leave the self-description information for the second section. Also, complete your stats -- leaving weight as zeros raises an eyebrow to how heavy you really are... This conflicts with how you look in your pictures ;) Mrs TF3
Saint Paul MN			Username hidden (467 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thank you for the feedback! Your points were very good - and looking back on things, I guess more is not necessarily more when it comes to these profiles. :)
Saint Paul MN			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Agree with Scandle, great pics, but profile is too long. Drop the update about the cool new couple. We would pass you by if we thought you were already tight with someone else. A cert or two would help too. You could probably drop most of the stuff under fantasies, and make it very general. You don't have to tell all, leave something to the imagination...
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (269 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Naughty_Horizons, welcome to the forums. In a nutshell, to answer your question, yes - your profile is too wordy, IMHO. Your pics are interesting and you have both of you portrayed, so there's no concern there. But the text? It's hard to put a finger on what needs to be taken out, but there is a sense of repeating concepts when combining ideas or saying it twice when once will suffice (i.e., she's strong and enjoys rough handling; she gets week kneed from taking large cocks from men or from strap-ons; you post 2 different updates). The paragraph that starts, "You should be secure and confident..." sounds entirely too preachy. Presumably your readers will be adults who have an idea about how they want to comport themselves in the lifestyle, and being told how they "should" act is insulting. You wrote in your profile that you "Finally connected with a cool couple, and it was fireworks all around! Had a great time with them, and are hungry for some more fun." Telling people your scorecard doesn't put you in a positive light. Would those people be willing to write a certification for you? They don't have to give details, but can say they had a fantastic time with you. That would be enough.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6973 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hey all, We've been on here the better part of a year, tried tinkering here and there with our profile and through it all it got longer and longer. Now, interest and responses have pretty well dried up. Do you think it runs too long? Or does it seem we're asking for the wrong thing? Heh - It seems I should have paid better attention in marketing class! Thus, your honest feedback would be appreciated! -Naughty_Horizons
Saint Paul MN			Username hidden (14 post)

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TOPIC: Profile too wordy

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