I think everyone has to make the calculation of the effort required to maintain privacy vs. the consequences of losing it and having family, neighbors, children's friends at school, employers, and members of any organizations you belong to knowing what you do in private and having photos to prove it. To us, changing our zip code, becoming John and Jane Doe, and not posting any photos takes no effort at all. Maybe the bad consequences of not doing that are unlikely to occur, but if they did, they would be catastrophically bad. So bad that losing out on the people who insist on seeing our photos before they'll CONSIDER meeting us is a risk we're willing to take. But different strokes for different folks.

laughinglovers we totally understand your point and don't disagree with however people choose to approach it to find comfort. That said, it's like germophobes who disinfect everything or don't get into any hot tub that other people have been in - we're certain they have rationalized it with indisputable facts from somewhere that make the behavior make sense to them, and we'd never try to argue their choices away. We took all of our pics of a competing website precisely because we at one point googled "swinger" and lo and behold our pics from that site came up. We're not without our own sense of caution and hardly fault people for whatever level of caution they choose for themselves. We just meet people all the time who use fake names and towns and take all kinds of precautions that seem like way more trouble than it's worth - TO US. And worrying about pics is just another of those things that - TO US - we find people overblow given the severity of the problem/risk... (*knocks furiously on wood*)

Privacy and discretion is a concern for many swingers, pictures distributed away from their intended private-swinger site only intended used makes us personally a tad nervous. We have a friend whose non-nude risque pictures made it out to a strangers FB page. A complete stranger, but one in the same city (granted big city, but still). They were able to get it pulled down and it might seem benign since it wasn't connected to their real names, but for those of us that want privacy the issue is worth monitoring and discussing as technology keeps racing along. Sure, porno is easy to find, but then why are pervs running around the mall with hidden camera's up-skirting strangers? They can see the whole beaver everywhere, or a million staged up-skirts, but they're seeking something different than that. Just saying, it's worth talking about and making an educated decision about your own comfort level for photos.

Honestly we think people make a bigger deal out the whole pic scamming thing than it can possibly be. It's SO easy to get free pics and porn out there - why go through the hassle of having to mail people and ask them to show what might be nothing? There might be a few whackos out there who don't understand they have a path of less resistance out there, but it's hardly a rampant problem, don't you think?

Pictures are important and we appreciate clear and current pictures of both the female and male of the couple when we're getting ready to meet. We are a little put off by the thousands of miles away asking for an exchange for no reason, the internet is just proliferating data, and very private data. Some of stories we've heard has made us pull back, we were much more liberable when we started in exchanging photos and really recommend for newbies to keep it on a need to know basis. If you've emailed and are going to meet and, they are a validated or certified couple, then by all means, otherwise proceed at your own risk. SLS has terrible picture control methods, it's like a 1990's designed website with regard to privacy options, but luckily does some other things well. As to tineye, its a useful tool, you can take one of your photos and put it in tineye and it will sometimes be able to alert you if its being used elsewhere. It's a good tool, but not foolproof. Cheers!

OK, we'll confess to not knowing about tinyeye. Just how does it work? How can a photo on this site, public or private, be copied and then put through that website? Most people here (me included) post photos but still don't want them traced to their real identities. I find it hard to believe it could be done but hell, I learn new things every day. Please elaborate. Thanks.

We currently have someone writing and asking us to open our private pics but won't open theirs LOL...as if.... and they live 2 1/2 hrs away
Here's the conversation so far

Them, first e-mail - Nice Pics
Us - yes
Them - can we see more of you two ?
Us - your pics are closed to us but you want us to open ours for you?
Then - Yes
Us - Bye bye single guy - your pathetic

Seriously? Come on we've been on for years and know an idiot by their one liner e-mails. Want a response? Try something better then nice pics.

Pictures are important because many people won't agree to meet you without them. They are also important because everyone has different degrees of privacy they expect and in this day and age, you have to be careful what you put out there. Most people have limited abilities with a camera so we try to "cut them some slack" - at least when they're newer members. After a year or so on this site, they've had plenty of time to look at other profiles and photos and learn a thing or two. Some do, some don't. We keep in mind that the end result is what's important and that everything else just helps us get there. But sometimes poorly written profiles or photos prevent us from even considering people that might otherwise be a great match. If you live 10 or 100 miles from us, why should we agree to meet for dinner or over a drink without feeling some spark or physical attraction? Really! That's why we try to attend parties and other group events that allow us to see them in person in a social, non-committal atmosphere.

There's a new profile in our area but the pic of the wife (the only one) is right off the internet.

Seriously like we won't find out?

His are real, the hers are scans from a magazine.