Hi Mrs. Sav : )

It's Stgala who has BDSM in their profile, not the OP.

We have that we don't play on first meet and we've never had anyone be offended or think we're scared to play. After three bad experiences of playing on first meet with couples we made the decision to never do it again, and it's been a good decision for us, just our opinion. The females of the couples were never the problem...it was the males who became aggressive idiots.

Also, the build up for the second meet when we play is intense.

Kat

"What BDSM perspective.....I must have missed something since I see absolutely no mention of this in your profile. If it's your kink you might wanna mention that to find like minded people and /or to warn others lol."

We don't all mention every kink we have in our profiles. Who does? But who are you to doubt they feel they have a different perspective based on lack of mention in their SLS profile? And who says they have to? Chalk it up to another misconception about kink. :-) Most of us BDSM participants don't really find our partners here anyhow.

"Maybe we've different coming to this from a BDSM perspective -- which requires a higher degree of caution -- but we like to talk amongst ourselves at length after the meeting. " What BDSM perspective.....I must have missed something since I see absolutely no mention of this in your profile. If it's your kink you might wanna mention that to find like minded people and /or to warn others lol. I do agree with Akron about the perception of no playing rule on the first date. Some will assume there is a tentativeness or that the communication between you isn't such that you immediately know if your spouse is in or out. Mr Sav and I do not need a discussion before playing we read each other very well but we do understand and respect everyone's preference. Face it no matter what you put in your profile 98% of the people aren't going to be interested in you just as you will have no interest in them.

"The concept of not playing on the first date will lead many to believe someone in your party is reluctant." Akron, Hmmmmm. I guess they'll just have to believe that then, instead of believing that they're so perfect that no one could resist playing with them. We've found it helpful to insist that there be no play on the first social meeting because it weeds out people who hope that just because we've showed up for coffee means we'll cast aside any doubts we may have and play with them. We have inevitably found that we learn lots about people at a face-to-face meeting that we didn't know before. And that the people with whom there's chemistry are happy to schedule a play date for later. Maybe we've different coming to this from a BDSM perspective -- which requires a higher degree of caution -- but we like to talk amongst ourselves at length after the meeting. That way there's no taking one for the team. And it avoids the unpleasant "thanks for joining us for dinner. We don't ever want to see you again." We think that your alternative encourages people to believe what they want to believe and assume that we'll make the exception for them. Perhaps we will someday, but we think there are perfectly good reasons not to. - ST

CuteNcurious3442, In addition to that already mentioned by others, if you haven't already done so, block single males in your preferences. Should filter out all single males but the liars, cheats and posers putting up fake couples profiles or saying he has permission from her. Those types won't care and write to you as a temporary "able to play alone" male anyhow, because they aren't single in their minds, LOL. Respectable males will respect your no single males limit :) Second, unless you have unresolved paranoia issues, delete that "warning" in section four of your profile. It is blatantly hollow, unenforceable and doesn't help your profile in any positive way. Sorry, but whomever gave you the idea to post it in your profile gave you bad advice. :( Good luck, Mrs TF3