The question of why there is such a huge disparity in men vs women in online dating parallels the question of who are women having sex with. According to some research, women have fewer sexual partners during their lifetime than men. This is a tricky subject though, because you are dealing with mean vs median. On average, it should equal out 1 to 1, or one guy for each girl, but in practice, given 100 men and 100 women, if 10 of the guys are having sex with 90 of the girls the "average" number of sexual partners for both is 1...which doesn't make the 90 guys or 10 girls who aren't getting laid feel any better that they are having an "average" number of sexual partners. Anyway, this isn't meant to be a math lesson, which I suck at anyway, it's meant to give an idea of the intricacies of the issue. So, I ask myself: If there are so many more men than women online, does that mean that A)Women are getting lots of sex and have no need for online dating? or B)There are lots of horny, unsatisfied women out there who just aren't online? If A, then why are there so many desperate men? If B, then WHY aren't the women availing themselves of the aforementioned desperate men? The answer, I think, is actually both. Yes, women can obtain sex easier than men, if they are of at least average looks. But there is a huge difference between "can" and "do". Whenever a woman says, "I can get sex anytime I want it". I say, "OK, show me. Clock is ticking. Pick up a guy and fuck him. As a matter of fact, I'll do you right now."...and then the excuses start. The limiting factor in a woman getting sex isn't availability...it's the women themselves. Women are biologically, psychologically, and socially inclined to be discriminating in their choice of sexual partners. Men...not so much. Yes, a woman can find a sexual partner easier than a man. But can she find a QUALITY sexual partner easier than a man? A woman I met through an online dating site showed me her inbox (full) and I said, "Damn...you have it so easy. I send 100 messages, get 10 replies, of which maybe 3 will meet me, and have sex with 1.' She said, "Whereas I get 100 messages, 90 of which are boring, or from losers, maybe 3 of those will meet me, and have sex with 1". What I suspect is happening is that a majority of women are having sex with a minority of men. This is why the most extremely good looking men, or very high value (wealthy, doctors, lawyers, celebrity) men have a lot of sexual partners, and the rest of the male population gets by with 1 or 2, often having to get married or otherwise promise monogamy to do so. Few women, OTOH, lack for sex for any length of time- they usually have a go-to guy FWB (which is often a guy who has several such women) while looking for something longer term. The remaining women who are not having sex are doing so as a choice, either because "good girls wait until marriage" or sexual inhibitions, social stigma, etc. None of which applies to the *men* who aren't having sex.

Reasonable, but per the 2000 census the US was comprised of 143.4mm females and 138.1mm males. This may be slightly faulty as there was a notable trend of faster growth in the male population from 1990 to 2000. If that trend continued (I didn't find more recent numbers in a quick search) it may be that the active population has become equal or slightly more male. At the same time these numbers just don't bear out a 100 to 1 ratio (I realize you probably just guesstimated that number but it sounds right from my experience). If all of that excess was taken up with women who were "happy" with their man it means most of them are being cheated on or let their men play. Otherwise the numbers should stay roughly even because these satisfied women would also be removing one male each from the pool. Overall I'd guess you're right. Single women just have so many more options. A quirk of this is that my swinging partner (who is a lesbian) has run into the same issue with finding a good woman. Luckily she makes do with me on a regular basis (helps to be good friends to boot). Even though it's not a traditional romantic relationship we've become pretty convinced that our friendship and play represents probably the most successful relationship either one of us has had.

I think perhaps there are more single male profile than female ones is simply that women as a general rule generally have more options and invitations and do not need to rely on a swing sites to meet others. I also think that there are fewer women with open minds who are looking for purely sex , especially at a younger age. In the area of 3 somes, they can have a man of their own and no need or desire to share yours. Many for whatever reason do enjoy being a 3rd, don't want commitment and enjoy both sexes but for the most part they are far and few between comparatively to single men and couples. This is no different number wise than any regular dating site, for every 100 men there is 1 actively searching female. Having had experience with dating sites I can assure you it is the same. I received dozens of emails daily from single men and when discussing it with men on the same sites they'd be lucky to get one a week. My male Co Worker and I were on the same dating site for almost a year and used to talk about it all the time. He was an extremely attractive male, educated well traveled, polite etc. but he struggled getting women to respond to his contact messages. The percentages are just so dramatically different between men and women searching . Mrs Sav

That kindof segues into wondering why it is that single women seem less likely (at least if one judges by the "supply/demand" ratios for single women vs. single men) to show up on websites like this or in the swinging world in general. It seems trite to just lay it on the male sex drive being so much higher. I've known a number of women who have a huge appetite for sex and rationally I haven't been convinced by any logical argument as to why men should have a higher sex drive. Are they simply on the upper end of the curve? I did read an interesting article that seemed to argue men aren't wired for monogamy and it's healthy to let a little sexual play occur but it did not seem to address the female need for sexual play and, in fact, the participants noted that while they wanted to play around they felt their female partners shouldn't be (a horrible proposition in my opinion).

I agree... I am a single woman and I had a thought of hiding my profile more than once. The sheer number of emails I get is overwhelming. Yes, my dance card is full lol. But guess what: I am real! But from what I am reading, there are not many real single women... Yes, I do get to be picky. But I think I make good choices, because I am really making friends along the way!

Both. Hot single women don't have any trouble filling up their dance cards anyway, with or without membership here. In a week's time here, they can find enough playmates to last them forever. After that, reading ten emails a day was idle entertainment they really didn't need or have time for. Sometimes they will open their profile back up for a day or two at a time, bit not often.

Do you happen to know if they decided to take the profiles down simply because of the sheer number of messages or was it the poor manners of some of the less refined membership? (Morbid curiosity)

I'd guess locale has an effect as well.

I'll partially echo what others have said about using this site to meet single girls. My profile makes it clear I am not looking for dates with singles, and I've been contacted by only a few.

On the other hand, four different single girls have joined this site at my suggestion; all of them were covered up with a swarm of emails within days, as if they were a piece of red meat being thrown in the lions den. They all took their profile offline very quickly.

SLS is a pretty lousy place to find single women. You're much better off picking them up at vanilla clubs, or even craigslist. Look around the forums, there are some discussions on this.

I wouldn't call it unreasonable. I know of at least one that is a real honest to goodness single, swinging, human female (My partner and I took her to a club). I've also met a few single women floating around at the club although the numbers are pretty low.

You might try hitting a local club because they usually encourage single women by letting them in for free. In my experience people are quite respectful of your preferences if you don't do the full swap and there are often single women or a couple where the man doesn't mind just watching or where the woman will play on her own. They are still relatively few and far between.