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Not having any luck meeting anyone - Profile faux pas : Swingers Discussion 194645
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TOPIC: Not having any luck meeting anyone - Profile faux pas
Created by: TwoHotFiresigns
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi all. We have been on this site for about a year, but have been unable to actually meet anyone from here. We're both good looking and fun to hang out with, so we're wondering what we may be doing wrong. We look forward to any advice or constructive criticism on our profile or initial contact with other members... Thanks in advance!! Vince & May

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Reasonable, but per the 2000 census the US was comprised of 143.4mm females and 138.1mm males. This may be slightly faulty as there was a notable trend of faster growth in the male population from 1990 to 2000. If that trend continued (I didn't find more recent numbers in a quick search) it may be that the active population has become equal or slightly more male.

At the same time these numbers just don't bear out a 100 to 1 ratio (I realize you probably just guesstimated that number but it sounds right from my experience). If all of that excess was taken up with women who were "happy" with their man it means most of them are being cheated on or let their men play. Otherwise the numbers should stay roughly even because these satisfied women would also be removing one male each from the pool.

Overall I'd guess you're right. Single women just have so many more options. A quirk of this is that my swinging partner (who is a lesbian) has run into the same issue with finding a good woman. Luckily she makes do with me on a regular basis (helps to be good friends to boot). Even though it's not a traditional romantic relationship we've become pretty convinced that our friendship and play represents probably the most successful relationship either one of us has had.

Beaumont CA
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I think perhaps there are more single male profile than female ones is simply that women as a general rule generally have more options and invitations and do not need to rely on a swing sites to meet others. I also think that there are fewer women with open minds who are looking for purely sex , especially at a younger age. In the area of 3 somes, they can have a man of their own and no need or desire to share yours. Many for whatever reason do enjoy being a 3rd, don't want commitment and enjoy both sexes but for the most part they are far and few between comparatively to single men and couples. This is no different number wise than any regular dating site, for every 100 men there is 1 actively searching female. Having had experience with dating sites I can assure you it is the same. I received dozens of emails daily from single men and when discussing it with men on the same sites they'd be lucky to get one a week. My male Co Worker and I were on the same dating site for almost a year and used to talk about it all the time. He was an extremely attractive male, educated well traveled, polite etc. but he struggled getting women to respond to his contact messages. The percentages are just so dramatically different between men and women searching .

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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That kindof segues into wondering why it is that single women seem less likely (at least if one judges by the "supply/demand" ratios for single women vs. single men) to show up on websites like this or in the swinging world in general.

It seems trite to just lay it on the male sex drive being so much higher. I've known a number of women who have a huge appetite for sex and rationally I haven't been convinced by any logical argument as to why men should have a higher sex drive. Are they simply on the upper end of the curve?

I did read an interesting article that seemed to argue men aren't wired for monogamy and it's healthy to let a little sexual play occur but it did not seem to address the female need for sexual play and, in fact, the participants noted that while they wanted to play around they felt their female partners shouldn't be (a horrible proposition in my opinion).

Beaumont CA
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Both. Hot single women don't have any trouble filling up their dance cards anyway, with or without membership here. In a week's time here, they can find enough playmates to last them forever. After that, reading ten emails a day was idle entertainment they really didn't need or have time for. Sometimes they will open their profile back up for a day or two at a time, bit not often.

Belle Chasse LA
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Do you happen to know if they decided to take the profiles down simply because of the sheer number of messages or was it the poor manners of some of the less refined membership? (Morbid curiosity)

I'd guess locale has an effect as well.

Beaumont CA
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I'll partially echo what others have said about using this site to meet single girls. My profile makes it clear I am not looking for dates with singles, and I've been contacted by only a few.

On the other hand, four different single girls have joined this site at my suggestion; all of them were covered up with a swarm of emails within days, as if they were a piece of red meat being thrown in the lions den. They all took their profile offline very quickly.

Belle Chasse LA
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I wouldn't call it unreasonable. I know of at least one that is a real honest to goodness single, swinging, human female (My partner and I took her to a club). I've also met a few single women floating around at the club although the numbers are pretty low.

You might try hitting a local club because they usually encourage single women by letting them in for free. In my experience people are quite respectful of your preferences if you don't do the full swap and there are often single women or a couple where the man doesn't mind just watching or where the woman will play on her own. They are still relatively few and far between.

Beaumont CA
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Miracles do happen but realistically the odds are against you from what we hear. Perhaps you'd have better lucks at night clubs and parties?

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Thanks. That makes perfect sense. I know we've checked out some "single female" profiles that end up including some vague reference to "her man" or something.. We thought being honest and upfront was a better way to go than: Hi I'm a single female who's looking for a hot girl for... Wait for it.... SURPRISE!!! Me and my man!! We are looking for hot fun with another lady not a used Hyundai...

Is it unreasonable to hope to find a single lady?

Sarasota FL
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Might be a side effect of only looking for a single woman to add. The main body of swingers is comprised of couples so that right there severely cuts your potential pool down. Further, the single women are usually inundated with messages and are in such high demand that if you're not actively trying to make contact it might be unlikely they will even notice your profile because they're too busy digging out from under mountains of mail to trawl the "who's on" or use the search functions. I know one young single woman made a profile and was buried under about 100 messages after just one day.

Beaumont CA
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TOPIC: Not having any luck meeting anyone - Profile faux pas