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Looking to review and update : Swingers Discussion 201616
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TOPIC: Looking to review and update
Created by: Couplalovers
Original Starting post for this thread:
We've been on here over a year, and we've done ok. Got some interest, maybe a new couple every week or two on average.

We've had less luck with people we've been interested in, getting them to respond back.

We're interested to know if our profile could use some updating, some more pics, etc. do we come off like newbies, maybe in a bad way? Are we not putting the sexual vibe out there enough? We do that on purpose, because we aren't the "meet and fuck" type. We try contacting people who seem to express those same sentiments, who have similar profiles to ours and it's surprising when we don't get a response.

Anyway, interested in your impressions...

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K and I are both in sales...and we have to explicitly turn off that gene that tells both of us to "kindly reach out, say hello and offer reconnection"

I think back to my online dating days. Rejection was rejection. Period.

But, I don't consider it permanent. And the non-pushy pros outweigh the cons. Consider what can happen when you're not pushy:

- you meet at a club and actually do connect because they don't think you're that creepy pushy couple - they reach out a month later apologizing for the delay. Then they're eager to meet! - you host or are Aware of an event you think they'd like but know they haven't been invited. A brief "hey, here's this event" is a gentle reconnection with no commitment to reply. This could still be considered pushy, but I'm too think skinned to care if someone is touchy here

Now consider what happens if you're pushy

- they connect and you're golden. - they connect out of obligation. It's sour from the start - they tell their friends about this pushy couple. And you reach out to their friends, unknowingly

So, non-pushy wins. There will always be another cool couple. Patience is a virtue!

Roswell GA
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(105 posts)
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Thanks for the feedback everyone!

We've had that same situation, where someone contacts us first and then just stops responding.

This leads to another question not totally on this subject, but any advice on non-reply etiquette? Say we contacted someone, mutual interest was expressed, but somewhere along the lines they just went silent. So far, we've taken that as a complete rejection and just moved on, but has anyone had success giving it time and trying again?

Hastings On Hudson NY
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To be clear, 1-2 approaches a week and having certs is a very solid thing.

But you seem a little like me...."it could be better!"

I think you have a solid and clear profile and if a couple finds you attractive, you give a vibe of "it's okay to write"

Could it be better? Sure. But that's a matter of taste and thats hard to get a good opinion from strangers. You need to ask people who know you "does this reflect our personality? Be brutal!".

As for the pics - K and I like sexy photos but we shy away from people with gyno textbook shots. Lingerie and sexy poses do a lot more for us. Others want to see cock and pussy. Who do you want to attract? For the record, you both seem attractive to me and K is more about the brain than the body.

I feel ya about the missed connections. People you're certain would jive but then...nothing. Sometimes it's timing. For example, if you wrote us, wed reply that it'll be a while before we can meet. Not from lack of desire but from timing. Other times it's personality conflict, and some times people just don't find you attractive enough to pursue. Heck, we've been three times rejected by people who WROTE US FIRST! And that's in the past two weeks.

Fact is, you can never know what the reasons are. I suggest you focus on making sure the profile really reflects you both and let things go. You can go insane with what if!

Hope that helps. Cheers!

J

Roswell GA
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(105 posts)
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We've been on here over a year, and we've done ok. Got some interest, maybe a new couple every week or two on average.

We've had less luck with people we've been interested in, getting them to respond back.

We're interested to know if our profile could use some updating, some more pics, etc. do we come off like newbies, maybe in a bad way? Are we not putting the sexual vibe out there enough? We do that on purpose, because we aren't the "meet and fuck" type. We try contacting people who seem to express those same sentiments, who have similar profiles to ours and it's surprising when we don't get a response.

Anyway, interested in your impressions...

Hastings On Hudson NY
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(2 posts)
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TOPIC: Looking to review and update