"But that said, it is equally true that it is not for them to decide what we need and can get here if they are not intereested in us as couple."
____________

On the contrary, Lev. When you ask for help regarding your profile, you ARE asking what other people's perceptions are. I did not see any judgmental statements below, but rather honest feedback.

Perhaps thee ought to take a look at thyself and determine if thee is being a bit defensive?

"so that we can find our match and have great fun. we have very limited experience in LS so it may show through in the profile lol . " My reference to the type of relationship you are seeking and apparently having issues finding was merely a SUGGESTION as to WHY you might be finding less than compatible people and seeking help in getting more responses. I have no issue with the type of relationship you seek and I am sure there are some people looking for the same thing but clearly if you aren't finding them something in your profile is discouraging them from perusing you both.Presumably if they wasn't a problem one wouldn't be seeking help, if you don't like or agree with the suggestions offered that is fine too...carry on. Mrs Sav

lol... I'm sorry, I do not think I assumed too much in ALL that you said. However, if your reply right after mine had nothing to do with me (or any other posts like i mentioned) than I may have misunderstood that. (?)

You did ask for people to look at your profile, I didnt realize you did not mean its content. I'm sure many can give you constructive criticism on your grammar, spelling typo's if there are any, and maybe the overall layout. Much luck to you both of you. :)

Kinddragon, perhaps you mis understood and assumed too much into what I said. That is why perception and personal opinion can be bias. I will only say that you perhaps are over emphasizing what I said to be referring specifically to you. if you have any responses that wil help us build our profile to get what we want, it will be helpful. Polyamory was a discussion I had not orginally intended to bring up. it was brought up in our profile but not in the post by us until another person brought it up. I asked for help in getting a better profile to get more responses for what my wife and I want. As to whether or not we can find what we want and need here, that is something only time will tell. I wish you well but I'm going to end the polyamorous discussion for my part. What other people want from here is for them to decide, not me. But that said, it is equally true that it is not for them to decide what we need and can get here if they are not intereested in us as couple. So I'll let you all decide whether you want to discuss polyamory on this forum. We have already made our decision. cordially, Leviak

------- "So while I respect all your opinions, we were looking for constructive criticisms for improving our search for what WE want in the lifestyle, not what others necessarily think is best for us." ------ ....My earlier post was more a question than ANY attempt of constructive criticism. I was curious to see what others would think about that, and thought you might be as well. I most certainly do not know what is best for you. -------- "We all have our own needs, desires, and thoughts. It is rather hard to address individual needs if one appears to be criticized for having variant opinions." -------- ...I did not (nor did i see anyone else) criticize you for having variant opinions. To be honest I feel that you are 'appearing' to be criticizing me (or us) for variant opinions. I do not 'know' if your needs and desires can or can't be met here. And I do not judge people who are vanilla, swingers or polyamorous ...or any other type of lifestyle. But I still see them as very different from each other and am ....still just wondering if they can find what they want in the same place. ------ "That being said, I wish you all well and the best fun and play time you can get in the LS." ------ ...and I wish you the same as well! :)

"Please consider this before drawing false "dichotomies."
------
so i had to google the definition to this word... and this is what i found....

dichotomy is any splitting of a whole into exactly two non-overlapping parts, meaning it is a procedure in which a whole is divided into two parts. It is a partition of a whole (or a set) into two parts (subsets) that are:
jointly exhaustive: everything must belong to one part or the other, and
mutually exclusive: nothing can belong simultaneously to both parts.

i'm sorry, its almost 2 a.m. ...i still do not know what it means... there must be an easier word to use at this hour :)

levnuni, I commend you both for your honesty in your profile. I think many here have been and will share their view of what is commonly seeked in the lifestyle. I do agree with you that the lifestyle should cover anyone looking for more than can be found in a vanilla marriage or relationship. Obviously most of us are looking for variety, or no strings fun, so you will probably have a long wait trying to make this fruitful. It sounds like you are going into this knowing that already, so by all means good luck in finding what you seek. We have met some over the years which seek poly relationships, so I would not say it is unheard of in the lifestyle. Best wishes, Eric

hi all, quick questions and comment. is Da vinci at odds with Monet or Picasso? are they not just variants of art? we all have preferences. polyamorous swinging and nsa swinging are just different forms of LS to some. If you like NSA great!! Enjoy! polyamory is viewed by vanilla couples as swingers. Most vanilla couples see polyamory as cheating like they see many swingers as cheating even with spousal consent. Please consider this before drawing false dichotomies. we are rather in a similiar boat in the vanilla world, and as such solidarity serves us better. We all are artist with our lives, you all may be abtract artists or impressionists, while the hubby and I are more renaissance painters . Tammy(Uni)

TY you all for your comments. Mrs. Sav, you expressed yourself eloquently and no offence taken by either of us lol. I wish you well in life :D To the all other wonderful people here , I post the rest. :) As to Poly and swinging being different, many people consider swinging antithetical to good relationships. we do not. So while many people consider them mutually exclusive, it is based on their own personal definitions. That my wife and I have different personal definitions than most others on this site, should not exclude us from participation in this site. Otherwise, open minded discussion becomes hard to find. Swinging, from what we understood, tends to promote open mindedness. it is this open mindedness that should allow for varying personal definitions. These definitions should allow for polyamory, otherwise it becomes very much a binary parody of the "vanilla" world. So while I respect all your opinions, we were looking for constructive criticisms for improving our search for what WE want in the lifestyle, not what others necessarily think is best for us. Obviously, no one has to play with us who does not share our interests. We all have our own needs, desires, and thoughts. it is rather hard to address individual needs if one appears to be criticized for having variant opinions. That being said, I wish you all well and the best fun and play time you can get in the LS. Sincerely, Lev and Tammy(uni)

just wondering.... but isn't swinging and polyamory 2 very different lifestyles?
...and is a swinging site the place to find a polyamorous relationship?

i mean i guess it's possible... but i understand how the word 'clingy' would be used here ..to a 'Swinger'. to me the swinging lifestyle is based on the opposite of polyamory. no strings attached sex.

am i wrong or might the OP be better off looking somewhere else for this?