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Just want some feedback! : Swingers Discussion 216221101
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TOPIC: Just want some feedback!
Created by: ToxicFun
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hey everybody!

I've been in and out of the lifestyle for a few years now. As life goes so do hobbies, likes and dislikes. So every time I come back to enjoy what this wonderful lifestyle has to offer I end up changing my profile here and tweaking it there!

So.....

If some of you couples and single ladies wouldn't mind checking out my profile and giving me some feedback I'd appreciate it so very much. I always get a second opinion on my attire before I go out to the clubs, so why not this is as well. Any feedback is welcomed, positive or negative, just please be nice!

Thanks!

Brian

p.s. My profile blocks single males, sorry guys. Didn't think you would be interested, even if you're, you're not the fish i'm fishing for! :D

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ToxicFun-

In the spirit of your review request, careful readings of your profile reveal the following issues for correction.

Spelling: There is a lack of apostrophe in "I'm" used at the beginnings of: 1) your second paragraph in the first section – “Im here to make friends”. 2) your fourth sentence in the second paragraph of the second section – “Im not a certified”. 3) your third paragraph in the second section – “Im into sports, mostly soccer”.

Next, the correct spelling is insatiable, not unsatiable (found in your second paragraph of section one) – “also have that unsatiable need”.

Green Bay (the Packers home city) is two words – “Go Greenbay!”

Last spelling item is the “y” is replaced by “I” when adding the suffix -ness to kinky, becoming kinkiness. Found in paragraph two, section two.– “with a bit of kinkyness”.

Grammar: With consideration for your apparently intended context, (third sentence, second paragraph of the second section,) change the remaining uncorrected “Im” to the pronoun-verb combination “I am” and insert the verb “have” between the words "and participated" later in that same sentence – “Im experienced in the usual MF and MFM encounters, and participated”

Other profile feedback: consider revising the description of friend actives to not sound sexist, as many women actually enjoy shooting and/or fishing instead of dancing.

Buried within your fourth paragraph of the second section is, in my opinion, one of the most important statements in your profile: "I have a clean bill of health, [am] certified bug-free, and always play safe[ly]." I noted where the missing the verb “am” and suffix “–ly” belong in that sentence. In addition to the minor corrections, promote this statement proudly, perhaps as a paragraph of its own as part of the second section; this is not something you want minimized by surrounding it with several “I do not” statements!

In section four, I recommend you replace ", like I said, I'm very easy going!" with a simple full-stop period.

The last item I should like to note here is the entire fantasies/experiences section. DO NOT CHANGE A WORD. Thank you for warning others of your inability to be discreet. That you kiss and tell is a huge red flag for potential partners, many of whom will perv your profile and make an informed decision to (not) play with you. Caveat emptor! Mrs TF3

Saint Paul MN
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(475 posts)
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LOL! The vast majority of pictures of me are the cheesy mirror type pix. I'm always the one taking the pictures of everyone else, so I actually have virtually *zero* pictures of me taken by others.

However...I'd rather see a mirror pic than no pic at all.

Lahaina HI
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Good profile. My 2 pet peeves on profiles are spelling/grammar and pics.

Very well written profile. Wish we would have seen it when we were living on the left coast.

As for the pics, I've never been a fan of the "self portrait," especially when the pic is taken in front of a mirror. Just looks cheesy. I'm sure you've got plenty of random pics of yourself floating around that were taken by other people. Use a couple of them instead. Or at the very least, spend $10 on a cheap tripod and use the timer function.

It's a minor thing and it certainly wouldn't stop us from contacting you, but it would def take an already great profile and make it better. Hope that helps.

T

Danville PA
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@Toxicfun - LOVE your profile name! :)

I think your pictures are great; they show enough of the "goods" in a tasteful way.

Your written profile is fine. It's not too long. Spelling and grammar were fine. (My pet peeve.) It reads like how I would imagine you to talk.

And you do S&R!!! That's so awesome!! I wish we would have started our male Belgian on S&R when he was small. Hope Chief gets better soon. :)

Lahaina HI
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(539 posts)
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I appreciate your feedback, i'll be making some corrections now! :)

Sacramento CA
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(2 posts)
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Hey everybody!

I've been in and out of the lifestyle for a few years now. As life goes so do hobbies, likes and dislikes. So every time I come back to enjoy what this wonderful lifestyle has to offer I end up changing my profile here and tweaking it there!

So.....

If some of you couples and single ladies wouldn't mind checking out my profile and giving me some feedback I'd appreciate it so very much. I always get a second opinion on my attire before I go out to the clubs, so why not this is as well. Any feedback is welcomed, positive or negative, just please be nice!

Thanks!

Brian

p.s. My profile blocks single males, sorry guys. Didn't think you would be interested, even if you're, you're not the fish i'm fishing for! :D

Sacramento CA
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(2 posts)
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TOPIC: Just want some feedback!