How do you let couples down nicely: Swingers Discussion 211831107

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How do you let couples down nicely: Swingers Discussion 211831107

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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely

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User Details are only visible to members.	I have taken to not responding to e-mails that have just and only "how's it going?" in the message. If they took the time to write at least a few sentences and say something about themselves, their interests, whatever then I will check the profile and send an e-mail, even if it is to politely say no thank you. My husband is less likely to respond unless he is motivated enough to. When we send out the first e-mail; we see it as a feeler. It's left with a note about dropping us a line if they are interested. There are no hard feelings on our end if they aren't. I will honestly say that I am hesitant to open face pics on that feeler e-mail. I'd rather wait until there is some response of entering farther communication before I do. If our info doesn't intrigue them then why share more?
Denham Springs LA			Username hidden (62 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	spanish_duo, I don't have an answer for you, unfortunately. I would like to see what others suggest because we have a similar situation with a SM who attends the same hotel takeover parties we do.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (6985 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	A different twist on this problem is what do you do after you have hung out with a couple a few times and enjoyed their company, in the bedroom as well, but now they seem to expect to hook up everytime the 4 of you are a the same place? Don't get us wrong, we aren't bedpost notchers, but when we are going to a club or event, unless we have made specific plans with someone, we like to just go with the flow. We have done the "say hello if you see us at the club" thing but it doesn't quite sink in. They tend to be clingy but they are nice and we don't want to hurt their feelings. Any advice?
New Castle PA			Username hidden (19 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I always respond to someone's emails. Yes, I know that "no response IS a response", but I feel it's only fair and proper. If we get approached by someone we have no interest in, I just write a short, polite email stating something like..."Thank you very much for contacting us, but we are not interested. Best of luck to you here on SLS." No explanation of why, etc.
Wailuku HI			Username hidden (442 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have been down this road too. We think that there is no one answer to the question. You have to handle this on a case by case basis. I hate to be ignored and would rather have an answer even if it is rejection so most of the time we just tell them as politely as possible that the chemistry is not there for a continued relationship. On more than one occasion the other party's last statement to us was on the line of, "If you want to take this to the next level, let us know." In that case if we are not interested, we just don't contact them. I'm sure that we have disappointed some people. We are sorry about that, but as all men know and most ladies know, that is part of the sexual game. We have all been rejected at one time or another. DAMN!
Colorado Springs CO			Username hidden (49 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am starting to agree with you. I always felt a polite reponse was better than ignoring but after getting some nasty emails and being blocked by some recently I am wondering if perhaps your approach is better.
Youngstown OH			Username hidden (11414 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sticky problem. My best answer is to do nothing in terms of a reply. It would have been a polite "no thank you" in the past, but I've learned otherwise. People handle rejection better when it is silent. I also got tired of the "You don't know what you're missing!" e-mails. (I DO know what I am missing. Yikes. ) You never know when you might run into a couple you've rejected. It's almost always better to make it seem like life just got in the way and the ball was dropped.
Lancaster MA			Username hidden (80 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well we like all others run into this scenario and it is most certainly a bit awkward for as well as everyone else. In the antiques world, "One man's trash is another man's treasure" and that being said of course another couple or single will most certainly appeal to some other mix at some time. We never would want someone to feel rejected merely for appearance or simple mistakes and then feel like the whole site felt that way. Profiles can be corrected, pictures can be retaken, approaches can be modified but pushy demanding attitudes or head games need address clearly. Then it is up to them to learn from it or not. We always will stay polite yet if the threshold is crossed then of course we will block. It seems as if certain people feel they have "entitlement" to communications and explanations, and if they are enabled then they will continue to feel this way. Newcomers can most certainly make mistakes and we do provide a bit more commentary to these people when they approach us to provide some insight into what might be inappropriate, or why we feel the mix is not right. To seasoned SLS members (Or at least ones who have been on the site long enough to know) we respond politely yet clearly that the information present in the profile or the communication directly to us does not lend itself to our desired outcome. What makes it a bit easier for us as well is the fact that we do not approach anyone ever so as not to put them into a position that we are talking about here. We may be loosing out on some very good people yet we would feel worse for them having to reject us than for us being rejected. So the bottom line here is that the ones that are well adjusted totally understand and for the pushy, beyond norm types that do not we just tell them that we have "Sharp pointy sticks". (Just kidding of course).
North Kingstown RI			Username hidden (18 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Listen to Nic. Meet in person to see if there is attraction before starting IM or chat.
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (272 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	One of my ways to let people down nicely is to tell them "if you see us in the club be sure and say hello." Yes, it's a brush off, but it usually works.
Nashville TN			Username hidden (28 post)

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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely