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How do you let couples down nicely : Swingers Discussion 2118311016
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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely
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We are very clear in our profile that we will not engage with someone who refuses to show us a face shot, at a minimum. We've had too many occurrences, just like you've described, where we probably would have been less flirtatious if we'd had all the facts up front.

That doesn't stop people from initiating contact without any pictures, though... when that happens, we have a quick response setup with the following message:

"Thank you for your interest, but as our profile states, we don't feel comfortable making plans to meet someone who can't or won't share a picture beforehand."

Sometimes, they will respond with a photo attached and we can proceed... most times, we never hear from them again, which is OK.

When we've already engaged, perhaps even met in person, and find that it's just not going to work, for whatever reason, we send something out similar to this:

"We wanted to thank you for having dinner with us last Friday, we enjoyed meeting you. Unfortunately, we don't feel we would be compatible as playmates."

You don't have to get into specifics... in fact, I'd go as far as saying they don't even have a right to know the specifics since that decision is between you and your partner. Most people already know where their shortcomings are... (Like me... I'm amazing, but overweight. I completely get that some women aren't interested for that reason alone. It's why I lost 50lbs in 2012, and am shooting for another 50lbs in 2013. ) If someone insists on needing to know EXACTLY why you aren't interested, then they are just looking for drama. block them.

As far as dealing with pushy couples... just block them, as NicAtNight suggested. If you know you will absolutely never want to hang out, or hook up, then you have no reason to put up with their BS. You are smoking hot, I doubt you'd have problems finding someone else interested who has more respect for you. Like us! Howdy, Neighbor! ;) (Don't worry, I read your profile and already know you'd not be interested due to my weight... that's OK, it doesn't hurt my feelings... it just motivates me to continue improving myself... because I'm drinking milk, and one day... lol)

Modesto CA
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Block! If someone doesn't take polite rejection or is simply too pushy, block them and never look back. Hell, I know some who routinely block anyone they aren't interested in so they don't risk being contacted.

Use the features of the site as you see fit, blocking is a last resort for some and simply a convenient tool for others.

Poland OH
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Ok, I'll just ask some dumb questions then ;) How do you deal with pushy couples?? Ones that message you everyday?

Oakley CA
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It won't hurt my feelings to see you continue to post.

;^D

Poland OH
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THANK you so much Mr Nic!!! Wonderful advice!!! Off to respond and update my profile!

Yes, I agree that being ignored is horrible, and my goal is to never hurt someone's feelings. :)

Oakley CA
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You will come to realize this is why many members have this prominently displayed in their profile: "Please open your face pics when contacting us". That can help avoid what you are describing but the reality is, most will ignore that request and you will still have to deal with rejecting them after seeing pics. Try coming up with a simple yet direct response as opposed to ignoring them and hoping they go away. lol

Try, "We all know how hard it is for four people to have a great connection and unfortunately, we don't feel we are a good match. Thanks for writing, good luck and have fun!" They may still have their feelings hurt but as someone who has been around awhile, I prefer a mild rejection over being ignored any day. Not that it ever happens to me. ;^D

Poland OH
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Very new to this whole online thing, and wanted to get some advice please.

Been messaging back and forth with a few couples we seem to have a lot in common with, well then they opened up their private galleries and unfortunately we are not attracted to a few of them. :(

I feel bad but attraction is the first step right?? So my question is, how to proceed from here? They've asked access to our private gallery but we'd rather not share it since we are not interested. It sounds so mean, but my natural reaction is to avoid them so they don't ask us "Why aren't you interested in us anymore?!" HELP!!! :(

Oakley CA
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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely