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FORUMS Successful Swinging Better Profiles How do you let couples down nicely
TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely
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Well we like all others run into this scenario and it is most certainly a bit awkward for as well as everyone else. In the antiques world, "One man's trash is another man's treasure" and that being said of course another couple or single will most certainly appeal to some other mix at some time. We never would want someone to feel rejected merely for appearance or simple mistakes and then feel like the whole site felt that way. Profiles can be corrected, pictures can be retaken, approaches can be modified but pushy demanding attitudes or head games need address clearly. Then it is up to them to learn from it or not. We always will stay polite yet if the threshold is crossed then of course we will block. It seems as if certain people feel they have "entitlement" to communications and explanations, and if they are enabled then they will continue to feel this way. Newcomers can most certainly make mistakes and we do provide a bit more commentary to these people when they approach us to provide some insight into what might be inappropriate, or why we feel the mix is not right. To seasoned SLS members (Or at least ones who have been on the site long enough to know) we respond politely yet clearly that the information present in the profile or the communication directly to us does not lend itself to our desired outcome. What makes it a bit easier for us as well is the fact that we do not approach anyone ever so as not to put them into a position that we are talking about here. We may be loosing out on some very good people yet we would feel worse for them having to reject us than for us being rejected. So the bottom line here is that the ones that are well adjusted totally understand and for the pushy, beyond norm types that do not we just tell them that we have "Sharp pointy sticks". (Just kidding of course).

North Kingstown RI
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Listen to Nic. Meet in person to see if there is attraction before starting IM or chat.

Virginia Beach VA
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One of my ways to let people down nicely is to tell them "if you see us in the club be sure and say hello." Yes, it's a brush off, but it usually works.

Bellevue TN
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Thanks, Nic... on both accounts. :)

Kalona IA
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Welcome to the forum pervyduo, great virgin post! And not just because you agreed with me.

Great job with the weight loss and good luck with your continued journey.

Youngstown OH
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We are very clear in our profile that we will not engage with someone who refuses to show us a face shot, at a minimum. We've had too many occurrences, just like you've described, where we probably would have been less flirtatious if we'd had all the facts up front.

That doesn't stop people from initiating contact without any pictures, though... when that happens, we have a quick response setup with the following message:

"Thank you for your interest, but as our profile states, we don't feel comfortable making plans to meet someone who can't or won't share a picture beforehand."

Sometimes, they will respond with a photo attached and we can proceed... most times, we never hear from them again, which is OK.

When we've already engaged, perhaps even met in person, and find that it's just not going to work, for whatever reason, we send something out similar to this:

"We wanted to thank you for having dinner with us last Friday, we enjoyed meeting you. Unfortunately, we don't feel we would be compatible as playmates."

You don't have to get into specifics... in fact, I'd go as far as saying they don't even have a right to know the specifics since that decision is between you and your partner. Most people already know where their shortcomings are... (Like me... I'm amazing, but overweight. I completely get that some women aren't interested for that reason alone. It's why I lost 50lbs in 2012, and am shooting for another 50lbs in 2013. ) If someone insists on needing to know EXACTLY why you aren't interested, then they are just looking for drama. block them.

As far as dealing with pushy couples... just block them, as NicAtNight suggested. If you know you will absolutely never want to hang out, or hook up, then you have no reason to put up with their BS. You are smoking hot, I doubt you'd have problems finding someone else interested who has more respect for you. Like us! Howdy, Neighbor! ;) (Don't worry, I read your profile and already know you'd not be interested due to my weight... that's OK, it doesn't hurt my feelings... it just motivates me to continue improving myself... because I'm drinking milk, and one day... lol)

Kalona IA
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Block! If someone doesn't take polite rejection or is simply too pushy, block them and never look back. Hell, I know some who routinely block anyone they aren't interested in so they don't risk being contacted.

Use the features of the site as you see fit, blocking is a last resort for some and simply a convenient tool for others.

Youngstown OH
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Ok, I'll just ask some dumb questions then ;) How do you deal with pushy couples?? Ones that message you everyday?

Oakley CA
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It won't hurt my feelings to see you continue to post.

;^D

Youngstown OH
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THANK you so much Mr Nic!!! Wonderful advice!!! Off to respond and update my profile!

Yes, I agree that being ignored is horrible, and my goal is to never hurt someone's feelings. :)

Oakley CA
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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely