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How do you let couples down nicely : Swingers Discussion 211831
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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely
Created by: nymphosx2
Original Starting post for this thread:
Very new to this whole online thing, and wanted to get some advice please.

Been messaging back and forth with a few couples we seem to have a lot in common with, well then they opened up their private galleries and unfortunately we are not attracted to a few of them. :(

I feel bad but attraction is the first step right?? So my question is, how to proceed from here? They've asked access to our private gallery but we'd rather not share it since we are not interested. It sounds so mean, but my natural reaction is to avoid them so they don't ask us "Why aren't you interested in us anymore?!" HELP!!! :(

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I can absolutely say I agree, I wish everyone would read profiles. We have gotten more than a few that make us wonder if the person paid any intention to what we said or what any of that might mean.

Denham Springs LA
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Totalbabe,

I can respect that you have requested face pics up front. It's your right to want what works for you and to expect others to understand that when you make it clear.

I do read profiles myself and I do pay attention to whether or not they require those open pictures. I would likely pass on you as well, out of respect for your wishes and also because to me this speaks of having different mind sets on some things.

The Wife

Denham Springs LA
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Livewire,

If they respond to my first e-mail with interest in conversation then I open our face pics.

Denham Springs LA
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I have taken to not responding to e-mails that have just and only "how's it going?" in the message. If they took the time to write at least a few sentences and say something about themselves, their interests, whatever then I will check the profile and send an e-mail, even if it is to politely say no thank you.

My husband is less likely to respond unless he is motivated enough to.

When we send out the first e-mail; we see it as a feeler. It's left with a note about dropping us a line if they are interested. There are no hard feelings on our end if they aren't.

I will honestly say that I am hesitant to open face pics on that feeler e-mail. I'd rather wait until there is some response of entering farther communication before I do. If our info doesn't intrigue them then why share more?

Denham Springs LA
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spanish_duo, I don't have an answer for you, unfortunately. I would like to see what others suggest because we have a similar situation with a SM who attends the same hotel takeover parties we do.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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A different twist on this problem is what do you do after you have hung out with a couple a few times and enjoyed their company, in the bedroom as well, but now they seem to expect to hook up everytime the 4 of you are a the same place? Don't get us wrong, we aren't bedpost notchers, but when we are going to a club or event, unless we have made specific plans with someone, we like to just go with the flow. We have done the "say hello if you see us at the club" thing but it doesn't quite sink in. They tend to be clingy but they are nice and we don't want to hurt their feelings. Any advice?

New Castle PA
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I always respond to someone's emails. Yes, I know that "no response IS a response", but I feel it's only fair and proper.

If we get approached by someone we have no interest in, I just write a short, polite email stating something like..."Thank you very much for contacting us, but we are not interested. Best of luck to you here on SLS." No explanation of why, etc.

Lahaina HI
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We have been down this road too.

We think that there is no one answer to the question. You have to handle this on a case by case basis. I hate to be ignored and would rather have an answer even if it is rejection so most of the time we just tell them as politely as possible that the chemistry is not there for a continued relationship.

On more than one occasion the other party's last statement to us was on the line of, "If you want to take this to the next level, let us know." In that case if we are not interested, we just don't contact them.

I'm sure that we have disappointed some people. We are sorry about that, but as all men know and most ladies know, that is part of the sexual game. We have all been rejected at one time or another. DAMN!

Colorado Springs CO
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I am starting to agree with you. I always felt a polite reponse was better than ignoring but after getting some nasty emails and being blocked by some recently I am wondering if perhaps your approach is better.

Youngstown OH
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Sticky problem.

My best answer is to do nothing in terms of a reply. It would have been a polite "no thank you" in the past, but I've learned otherwise. People handle rejection better when it is silent. I also got tired of the "You don't know what you're missing!" e-mails. (I DO know what I am missing. Yikes. )

You never know when you might run into a couple you've rejected. It's almost always better to make it seem like life just got in the way and the ball was dropped.

Westminster MA
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TOPIC: How do you let couples down nicely