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Honest Feedback about my profile would be greatly appreciated : Swingers Discussion 190822
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TOPIC: Honest Feedback about my profile would be greatly appreciated
Created by: joeodd2
Original Starting post for this thread:
Please let me know what y'all think about my profile. I'm always open to suggestions.
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Joeodd2-

In addition to Kat's observations, I noticed the following typos:

First section- -"...glass half full kind of __out look__." Outlook is a single word. -"I like to keep things __lite__ and see where the flow takes us..." Light, because we're not talking about beer. Also, as you've written it, this sentence should close with a full-stop period, not an ellipsis leading into the next sentence. -"And one more thing." Here you'll want to use a comma to lead into the next sentence accordingly: "And one more thing, please be a good conversationalist." Notice I removed the talker portion, I get the impression you want an actual conversation rather than gibberish. -"I like meeting ladies who's objective is to..." Your context indicates the possessive whose should be used rather than the contraction who's.

Second section- -"...became a __Tall__ dorky kid." Tall should not be capitalized in your context. -You say 33 y/o in this section, but show 32 in your stats.

Third section- -"Me and my group had a very intimate Jacuzzi party when I lived in Louisiana." Me doesn't fit grammatically, use instead: "My group and I had a very intimate..."

Fourth section- "...don't get the wrong __Idea__." Idea should not be capitalized in your context.

Good profile otherwise, Mrs TF3

Saint Paul MN
 
 
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Hey Joe!

Well...I LOVED your profile and pics : ) Love men in hats and suits with suspenders, and you have the body shape to carry it off handsomely!

I like when a profile reads as though the single or couple is chatting directly with me...your's is interesting, very funny and sexy. I don't think you need to include your story about Katrina -- too personal. I would delete starting with "Fast forward from 2005" to the end of that paragraph, but leave the rest of what you have written in the Description section.

I only saw a few typos -

Third paragraph under Description - ...surprised". I just like to have a good time, from my experience... Change to: ...surprised." I just like to have a good time. From my experience...

Last paragraph under Description - change "put I'm pretty picky" to "but.."

Under Fantasies - "I so much fun," to "I HAD so much fun."

As far as pics - I would delete the really fuzzy ones. The majority of your pics clearly show a very handsome, well built young man : )

I see you already have certs...not surprised.

Best wishes : )

Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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I'm not one that can give a good critique on profiles, but I really enjoy your posts in the Fora.

Brooklyn Park MN
 
 
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Please let me know what y'all think about my profile. I'm always open to suggestions.

Arlington TX
 
 
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(2284 posts)
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TOPIC: Honest Feedback about my profile would be greatly appreciated