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FORUMS:  Successful Swinging:  Better Profiles:  Honest Feedback about my profile would be greatly appreciated

TOPIC: Honest Feedback about my profile would be greatly appreciated

Posts: 1-4 of 4 post - GoTo Page: 1

User Details are only visible to members.	Joeodd2- In addition to Kat's observations, I noticed the following typos: First section- -"...glass half full kind of __out look__." Outlook is a single word. -"I like to keep things __lite__ and see where the flow takes us..." Light, because we're not talking about beer. Also, as you've written it, this sentence should close with a full-stop period, not an ellipsis leading into the next sentence. -"And one more thing." Here you'll want to use a comma to lead into the next sentence accordingly: "And one more thing, please be a good conversationalist." Notice I removed the talker portion, I get the impression you want an actual conversation rather than gibberish. -"I like meeting ladies who's objective is to..." Your context indicates the possessive whose should be used rather than the contraction who's. Second section- -"...became a __Tall__ dorky kid." Tall should not be capitalized in your context. -You say 33 y/o in this section, but show 32 in your stats. Third section- -"Me and my group had a very intimate Jacuzzi party when I lived in Louisiana." Me doesn't fit grammatically, use instead: "My group and I had a very intimate..." Fourth section- "...don't get the wrong __Idea__." Idea should not be capitalized in your context. Good profile otherwise, Mrs TF3
Fort Snelling MN			Username hidden (463 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hey Joe! Well...I LOVED your profile and pics : ) Love men in hats and suits with suspenders, and you have the body shape to carry it off handsomely! I like when a profile reads as though the single or couple is chatting directly with me...your's is interesting, very funny and sexy. I don't think you need to include your story about Katrina -- too personal. I would delete starting with "Fast forward from 2005" to the end of that paragraph, but leave the rest of what you have written in the Description section. I only saw a few typos - Third paragraph under Description - ...surprised". I just like to have a good time, from my experience... Change to: ...surprised." I just like to have a good time. From my experience... Last paragraph under Description - change "put I'm pretty picky" to "but.." Under Fantasies - "I so much fun," to "I HAD so much fun." As far as pics - I would delete the really fuzzy ones. The majority of your pics clearly show a very handsome, well built young man : ) I see you already have certs...not surprised. Best wishes : ) Kat
Frazer PA			Username hidden (2466 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'm not one that can give a good critique on profiles, but I really enjoy your posts in the Fora.
Brooklyn Park MN			Username hidden (1668 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Please let me know what y'all think about my profile. I'm always open to suggestions.
Arlington TX			Username hidden (2887 post)

Posts: 1-4 of 4 post - GoTo Page: 1

TOPIC: Honest Feedback about my profile would be greatly appreciated