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playing seperate - First time : Swingers Discussion 181851
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TOPIC: playing seperate - First time
Created by: greatfun4uhi The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I also wouldn't rule it out from ever happening again. For the first time for both of us (separate occasions) it was hard - but we've since thoroughly loved hearing about it and we love that the other gets to kind of be a different person with who ever they are with.

I like for my husband to enjoy other women and imagine him taking control of them...I can be a little bit delicate for him (not that it's a bad thing, I'm just a little internally petite...so anything on the larger side of average will sometimes be uncomfortable) - so I love to hear about how he doesn't hit the back of her, or how he can move her into whatever position easily...just enjoy himself!

But the first time WAS uncomfortable - I felt very left out and non unique. It took my husband coming back home and pointing out all of the things he loves about having sex with me to make me realize that I am in fact unique and, most importantly, his favorite - regardless of any NRE. Just make sure that when your husband gets back you give his ego that same TLC.

New York NY
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don't beat yourself up about it. It was done with his permission in the first place. Now you know he didn't like the play-by-play. Sometimes lines are crossed and now you know not to do that again. No harm done. It seems like he is handling his dislike of the situation, that's great.

If you want to try separate again, try it when you both are at the party and see how it goes.

San Antonio TX
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This is one reason I am always reluctant to play with a wife alone. I do it only when I have a very high level of confidence that everyone, especially the husband, is totally okay with it. Greatfun, don't worry about it too much; you didn't do anything wrong. We all do things that seem okay at the time, but don't turn out as well as we intended.

(On a lighter note, my phone just tried to autocorrect Greatfun into Dreadful; perving your thumbnail pics, nothing could be more incorrect.)

Belle Chasse LA
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My wife has a pass to play solo at the clubs with specific people.

I do not have such a pass from her.

Recently, there was a last minute, shall we say, monthly occurrence, that made play for her a non-starter, and she decided to not interrupt the events in progress that evening and allowed me to play while she did not (for clarity, the planned events for that evening was to be simultaneous play, which we do regularly, as opposed to playing with the halves of the same couple).

It was not a pleasant experience for her mentally and emotionally. She still has difficulty trying to pin down what exactly it was about the scenario that caused the issue. But, at the same time, she recognized that in the natural progression of finding your boundaries, sometimes you have to cross a line to know its there.

Compersion is a strange thing, and its definitely not something everyone is capable of possessing, but you'll never know until you try. And if you don't talk out the bad situations fully after the fact, you may inadvertently think you are incapable of it, when something as simple as a dislike of a specific partner may be the actual culprit.

You most likely feel bad because part of you recognizes that it was your actions (prior consent not withstanding) that ultimately caused the feelings of anger. When he realizes what it was about the event that caused him so much grief, and is capable of being honest about it, your empathetic reaction will undoubtably make him love you all the more.

-M

Colleyville TX
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I take it the play by play was not done in person if he is reading it, so he wasn't able to convert those feelings of jealousy/envy into fuel for some wild reclaimation sex?

-M

Colleyville TX
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Hahahaha Wear a cute flirty low cut sundress ( with no undies) That should work just fine :)

Dont worry yourself over it too much, You will be a wreck before you get there. Just relax and chat with everyone. If someone is interested in you, they will approach you, especially since you are going as a single.If you are part of a couple it doesnt happen as often. Most of all relax and have fun!

Augusta NJ
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TOPIC: playing seperate - First time