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TOPIC: a_question_for_the_lady_vets_
Created by: Lovers4Friends The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I was scared too death to actually try an approach someone in public. So, I decided to flirt with other women a little. I still can't say "make a move" on someone I don't know. I find this site has helped me a lot even though I've only had one bi-experience to speak of. At least here at this site, I know what the intentions are of the person I'm chatting with or emailing with & this makes things easier...more relaxing for me. When I actually had my first experience then I wanted to do it again. It thrilled me to know my husband watched me in the act of being very initimate with another woman. Of course, he loved it, too. This is the way we prefer it. We have a very tight relationship with no hang ups & feel comfortable with me being with another woman. I think this is rather cool that my hubby loves me doing this. He's the gr8est! I would say, make sure you know what you want & both of you are totally secure in your relationships coz I can see how being involved in this lifestyle can cause friction. Enjoy! 8-)

Knoxville TN
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Honestly, I fell into a deeper love with my husband. It turned me on even more to him. There are certain things we only do with each other or I will only let him be the one to enjoy, which keeps us as 'us'. It's scary at first, and you learn that unfortunately there are couples out there who are only interested in placing a notch on there bedpost, some who are only interested in stirring up trouble-rumors or worse your personal business, but once you learn who they are, you avoid them, and spend time with the true friends you make. We have got so many friends outside the bedroom, it's so cool. We have fewer inside the bedroom, which is fine by me. Because I like to "know" the person(s). You also get to try different things with different couples and learn new "tricks" so to speak. I totally agree, you have to have an open, honest, trusting marriage. If you didn't have one before going into this lifestyle, you more than likely will not last long. And I also agree --- never take one for the team. It's so not worth it, and it will only make an awkward situation more so.

Hanford CA
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The only thing that 'plagues me' is that I personally think it is 'addicting' and the excitement levels are amazing. If it were not for the Mr. I would probably run amuck LOL. So it is good to relax and just enjoy the journey, instead of rushing thru.

It is wonderful to finally be able to chat with people who ARE actually like you are. It is nice to 'let the hair down' so to speak.

Don't take one for the team.....starts a vicious cycle..

BE HONEST...............

If you are going to go into it. ( swinging lifestyle), Go in with a GOOD marriage. If it is in need of help, it wont be fixed by swinging.... and keep your head on straight! No excessive drinking!!

Mount Carmel PA
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I think that for me, the things that were worries at the outset continue to pop up for me from time to time- the risks involved. My worries about being "outted" and the impact that would have on my career, and worries about STD's, are my perennial concerns I hash through and revisit with C. from time to time.

In terms of actually swinging, I didn't come into it with any specific fears or concerns, and have found that being open to the idea that what I'm looking for in the lifestyle will evolve continually helps with any issues that do come up.


Ithaca NY
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TOPIC: a question for the lady vets
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