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Women supporting women : Swingers Discussion 2046371011
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TOPIC: Women supporting women
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A couple of days ago I received one of the most fucked up compliments of my life! I was told that my gums are gorgeous! I covered my mouth, blushed and thought about the weirdness of the compliment. But I accepted it, with all the little details that came with it, the color, how healthy they appear, blah blah blah...even though I felt totally uncomfortable :)

Rumson NJ
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"You are my hero! I absolutely find you to be a fascinating woman, in all ways that are humanly possible. I wish, I wish from the bottom of my heart that all women had your passion, compassion, adoration and respect for life and human kind."

Thank you for that. I think I'll print that out and carry it around with me to reread whenever I'm feeling exceptionally snippy and critical! :) And I know you, and know you don't just spout that off lightly. Not that you actually "spout" anything. That's not who you are. And that's why the above is so appreciated.

I love to sincerely compliment another woman. It has to be sincere and specific. They usually look so surprised, like "oh..." their mouths open and I think at first they wait for the "but..." Then they have a lightness in their eyes, it's a visible lifting of their faces because whatever they were going through the moment before (and yes, we know we all pretty much have gone through SOMETHING tough), it is at least momentarily lifted. That's a treat. And goes a bit further than some dude saying, "Dayum, nice tits." Although that can be uplifting as well!

G.

San Antonio TX
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I tend to be very supportive of other women. Unless they give me reason not to be. And then I'm not a bitch to them I pretty much ignore them. I don't have time in my life for women who are hateful and negative and try to tear other women down.

PG

Louisville KY
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Gina. Thank you for your post. Thank you for opening up that way. I understand what you meant in regard to being suicidal. I have gone through very dark days in the last 6 months. There were days when I was in such pain and thought this is the rest of my life...and it made me feel very, very tired. I understand what you mean. And I also understand what you mean in regard to women being complicated. I have major issues and admit to being hypersensitive because I was bullied so badly by girls when I was younger. They would call me dirty mexican girl and would throw things in my hair. This is why to this day, if I get even a hint that I am being bullied by a woman, I will fucking go crazy. I will go into hyper protective mode and its on. I do realize this about myself however. You are also right, some girls cannot be happy for anyone. I can say that I am happy when good things happen to y'all. I am. I want my girls to live happy, healthy lives. It saddens me when I feel like someone mistreats a woman just because of her own insecurities. And it helps me in swinging. I have had women say the most horrible things about me and in front of me, because they perceived me to be whatever. I just try and remember that it is their own issue, and I hope she learns to love herself. There is no need of ever being threatened by me, I have so many issues with myself LOL. We are something. A woman has the ability to create life and we are the most tender, loving creations there is. At the same time however, we have the ability of being outright cruel. I guess its what makes us intriguing LOL.


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Gina,

You are my hero! I absolutely find you to be a fascinating woman, in all ways that are humanly possible. I wish, I wish from the bottom of my heart that all women had your passion, compassion, adoration and respect for life and human kind.

"For me, men are easier to talk to, and I prob do talk to more men than women, becuase I identify with their sense of humor more. I like "guy" flicks, male put downs, self-deprecating humor, satire, sarcasm, their jokes, their scent, their bluntness. They can usually get mad at each other, yet the next day all is forgiven and forgotten without having to go through a box of Kleenex and 758940 emails about it."

Bingo! What's interesting, is that man's sense of humor regardless of how *cutting* it is, is ALWAYS forgivable, by the very same women that would never ever forgive or overlook it when it's a woman who's like that.

You are a remarkable woman Gina, NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise.

Rumson NJ
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I don't know, I don't see it the same. I find most women, after becoming Moms, seem to understand what is important and do strive to be their personal best. I see insecure women as an "issue" they have. Backstabbers? Come in males and females, I've found. Its the quality of a person, to me, that matters most. I see alot of strong capable women helping others. I like to think myself as one. I see the pettiness and backstabbing come when folks are insecure within themselves. Maybe a little more self love in order? I also agree it takes time to really figure someone out and experiences to show who they realyl are, imho*

joan*

Mantoloking NJ
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I never have and never will understand why women are so hard on each other. If you're different, have a differing opinion, style, fashion sense, mannerisms, and on and on ad infinitum, a woman will smile to your face and stab you in the back.

YES women are moody, over sensitive, illogical, and all that. Critical, irrational, bitchy, etc.

BUT we are also very strong, capable, caring, able, honest, sensual as well as sensitive, multi-faceted, and so on as well.

The thing that I don't like, and see here (yes, here int he forums) as well as in everyday life is that insecure women are the ones who see everything as a competition. They would not compliment another woman no matter what. They are unhappy when another woman gets more attention than they do from men, or well, okay, from anyone. They think everything should center around them, and when someone else has something good happen to them, they do not feel happy or express congrats, but instead sulk and feel jealous.

We call these the drama women.

Have I ever felt jealous of another woman? Of course I have. Do I let it consume me to the point of not being able to enjoy myself? No. I either deal with it or brush it aside and it usually passes pretty quickly.

For me, men are easier to talk to, and I prob do talk to more men than women, becuase I identify with their sense of humor more. I like "guy" flicks, male put downs, self-deprecating humor, satire, sarcasm, their jokes, their scent, their bluntness. They can usually get mad at each other, yet the next day all is forgiven and forgotten without having to go through a box of Kleenex and 758940 emails about it. It's a simple, "hey man, sorry." or maybe it's not even spoken, but it a "dude, no prob. We're good." if that. Simple. The result is the same: they've restored their friendship.

Women will hold a grudge forever. And if you've wronged a female friend, there can be that itty bit of resentment for years. It will rear itself again at an inappropriate provocation. I have a friend I've had for almost 50 years. She'll feel slighted by something pretty tame and not speak to me for months. Then, all is well until something else happens and she'll add the slight onto a former slight. Agh. It drives me freakin crazy.

I tend to think/analyze things similarly to men, I lust like men do, I prefer raw porn and hard literature and film. I never say "make love." I don't really like shopping all that much (sometimes I do like to just go look at nice stuff). I am kind of a mix: some girlie girl stuff, and some male/testosterone-driven stuff.

But. Again, I just simply don't understand why women treat each other so bad. My husband will say it frequently, "what is it with 'you women'?" Ha.

When I was suicidal years ago, it was my male friends who said the right things, and they weren't just all pretty little lies or anything, they were helpful. Not one of my women friends said anything worth hearing. I'm opening myself up here to soemthing that is extremely personal and devastating, yep, here on SLS, I'm actually saying that I've been suicidal. It's not to push anyone away, like, Omg, stay away from her now, she's freaky. It's just a low point in a life of survival, and I'm glad I had those male friends that cared enough to let me know things would change, I was someone important to them, whatever.

My mom, when she found out I escaped my ex, and moved away, told me I was a slut just like my birth mother. Is that helpful? Haha.

Look, Ma, I AM a slut and lovin' it!

Our past experiences shape our perceptions. I love when I meet drama free, strong, intelligent, funny, sexy women. Those are the ones I want to have fun with. but I prob won't call you on the phone; I hate calling people.

Gina, I am woman and I am complicated.

San Antonio TX
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camaro, i agree that guys are awesome. My best friend is a guy and most of my life, i have hung out with guys. Not all women are back stabbers though. I did think this once...but I now realize that there are some really awesome girls out there.


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79,

I'm sorry that you had to go through this, it happens all the time, including with grown up women, you see it here everyday.

The ONE woman that I've been friends with for a long long time is very much like me. We do not go to the bathroom together ;)

Rumson NJ
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Well said Seduction, I feel the same way you do. I prefer dealing with men because if they have a problem with someone, they just state it and it is done, none of the catty back stabbing gossip that women do.

When I was in school I was nice to the other girls, there were some who I thought were friends, then I would catch them making fun of me behind my back and rallying other girls to join in.

My issues with women are trust, I just cannot trust most women due to many experiences like this through my childhood, teenage years and even into adult hood. I guess I have just had the luck to be surrounded by women who didn't care who they stepped on to make themselves look good.

I just don't have time nor energy for that kind of bull.

Denver PA
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TOPIC: Women supporting women