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Texting : Swingers Discussion 2095561011
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TOPIC: Texting
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I love texting with a select few. All except one are SM's the the non single male its very occasional specially since we won't get to meet up with them again since we aren't doing Jamaica again this year. It builds the anticipation for meeting or between meets. And not all of them are sexual texts but none about the presidential debate. Hubby can read them all if he wants, but I usually give him the highlights. He is not much of a texter although now that he has his blackberry he is texting me more. He teases me when my phone makes its texting ping "so which of your guys is messaging you now" with a cute smile.

Louisville KY
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I don't get the sexting thing. I suppose just like I never really got the phone sex thing. Banging on a tiny screen, trying not to make spelling errors kind of kills the mood, methink.

Having said that, nothing is hidden between us, and we are free to text anyone we want.

Allenhurst NJ
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I do text with some couples and fully expect that whatever I write would be shared with the husband. I enjoy being flirty and it can keep the friendship, and the anticipation going between meetings.

To the OP, how did it "backfire big time"?

Poland OH
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Mr.Cincy does enjoy a re-cap if any of the texts do turn sexy but that's not to check up on the activity- rather it is to share the fun. He can live without hearing every joke, discussion of wall-covering or other mundanity.

Cincinnati OH
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I do text with the male of half of a couple and a single male or two. Mr. Cincy texts a wife or partner here and there. I prefer my sex with a side of friendship and the texting enhances that. There is no room in my marriage for anything beyond that. The people with whom we text also recognize this. If I got an inkling that this had somehow shifted for me or for my text-partners I'd pull back immediately.

I may be the worst swinger in the known universe because 98% of texts I share with husbands or singles are not at all sexual. Sharing the presidential debate via text was not at all hot but it made my night a whole lot of fun.

Cincinnati OH
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Thank you :*

Augusta NJ
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"Sexting for fun is one thing . Trying to weasel your way between a husband and a wife is sleazy."

Not just sleazy; pathetic, self-demeaning, stupid, and plain old evil are other words that come to mind. It baffles me. I text directly with the wives of several couples, and no matter how fond of them I am, there simply is no temptation or desire to come between them. For one thing, it would spoil the fun.

(Welcome back SLG; good to see you again)

Belle Chasse LA
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There was a lady that started off at just fun sexting my husband. No biggie. Later it had turned into sexting with personal questions added. Then pretty much saying if I were your wife I wouldnt do this or that type of thing. Kind of like putting me down to make her look better. I only knew of this after my husband had showed me the texts. I guess she never figured he would tell and show me them.We ended the relationship with the couple the next day .We never told the husband. Sexting for fun is one thing . Trying to weasel your way between a husband and a wife is sleazy.

Augusta NJ
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I think this really depends on things like trust and communication. We do know friends who've ultimately split over the level of non trust after there was "secret texting." That's the key. If you can maintain texts with the knowledge that any text may openly be shared with each other, then I'd say you have no problem. In other words, don't text anything you wouldn't want your spouse or the other person's spouse to read.

Personally, my husband is free to text anyone he wants to, and so am I. I'll even say, "why don't you give So and So a text, she'd love a compliment from you." Which of course means that we have a pretty open communication level. Even so, there is especially one gentleman I text with, and sometimes I read them to Mr Sexus, and sometimes I don't. He really doesn't care about texting or not, and if it's something he'll get a kick out of, or will be used as fantasy play between us, then yeah. Neither of us would have any reason to "check out" each others' chat history or text history, etc., but if we were so inclined, there would be no problem with reading each others' stuff.

I don't know why you personally have issues with it, that's up to you, whether or not you've been hurt in the past with trust issues, etc. You may feel you trust your spouse but not the other women who are texting. That is something you need to talk about.

Issues in swinging will pop up here and there, and some will surprise you. I can tell you honestly that if they are not addressed with openness and honest communication, those issues will not just go away, but will increase and possibly become resentments. We've seen it happen.

It also has something to do with the type of relationship you want to have with swing partners. Do you want friendships? Sex only? Do you only play in seperate rooms? Etc. All effect levels of trust. So, you are in this together with your spouse for fun and enjoyment. Talk to him.

Good luck, and hope things get worked out on this subject. Gina

San Antonio TX
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So I'm interested in hearing what your thoughts are on texting and sexting the opposite sex partner of couples. Woman texting another couple's Man and vice versa. I have had real issue with this. It makes me feel pursued and makes me uncomfortable with feeling like a woman is pursuing my man outside of our designated playtime. When we tried texting other couples in the lifestyle they all pretty much told us they have no rules for texting. Anything goes! A woman wanted to text my husband and I said alright. I was secure with our relationship. It backfired on me big time!

So I'm curious what you all feel and think about it! Why are you okay with it and have no rules, and why are some people (like myself) not okay with it?

Gig Harbor WA
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TOPIC: Texting