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Something new, I hope : Swingers Discussion 1971481011
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TOPIC: Something new, I hope
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i was #5 of 6. i think the oldest was the favorite. i dont think my parents were the best. i never remember my mother taking care of me, always brothers or sisters took care of me or my grandmother, probably because she was so overworked with 6 kids. and an overworked father who didnt want to be bothered when he got home.

Philadelphia PA
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I'll join your club. It sucks when your mom introduces your little sister to people and they already know everything about her...and congratulate her on how amazing she is. And then she introduces me " This is Erica..."..." Oh, hi Erica. What do you do?"

Concord CA
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It sucks failing so much, as a child.

so true. i always felt that i was a disappointment to my parents.

Philadelphia PA
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I got the opposite. My dad was fixed and 10 years, after my brother, I was born. They called me the miracle child. I was the chance God gave them, to do it right this time. So, expectations were always very high and I couldn't reach them. It sucks failing so much, as a child.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
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i think some women have a child/childen, then blame or resent the kids for their situation. I really feel that my mom is this. She will die without admitting it...but she did not want a child and i was the condom that broke lol. And, because i was born...she was required in her mind to stay in her unholy marriage. Gina and i relate so much because we had such similar childhoods. Its hard to love who you see in the mirror when you know you were never wanted in the first place.

San Marcos TX
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Try living as if you were a botched abortion attempt and see how well your self esteem turns out! :)"

ugh. i love you. Yeah, i feel you. My sin was being born female. See, my dad would tell my mother and I that "real women" have sons. And my mother was no real woman, since I was a mere female.

San Marcos TX
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I don't believe that age is always the largest influence on ability to parent.

A friend of ours had her first child at 29 and then the second at 30. She walked out in a heart beat when things got hard. To this day she is the worst mother I have ever met. It breaks my heart to see her daughter's heart hurt.

I had my first at 21 and second at 24. I have had my hard times but would never walk out on my kids and consider my self middle of the road maternal. I love them to death!

My sister had her children at 13, 15, 17 and 29. BEST mother I have ever met. She has raised all of her children with love. She fought off domestic violence, kept her kids fed despite HARD times and taught each one of them morals. She also never once had help from my dad or her mother and ALWAYS had her kids.

I do think that there is a missing link in some women's brains. I also agree with the previous poster when she said that society does not prepare mothers for how it really is. We expect this sweet little baby that will give us joy and happiness and then life is nothing like that. Also lack of support be it from family, friends, medical professionals or peers.

Aloha OR
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My adopted mom told me that my birth mother had probably tried to self abort me and it didn't work. (it was illegal in 1960)

Try living as if you were a botched abortion attempt and see how well your self esteem turns out! :)

later on, as I was older, a couple people asked/pointed out that there was no way for my adopted mom to have known that; that she was just being intentionally hurtful

It's a wonder we are all as sane as we are! Gina

San Antonio TX
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kitten I agree, i was a mom at 21. We tease our daughter and tell her to hush and be grateful she is alive haha. I mean seriously, when I think about it! I had never held a baby before she was born...and we were handed this HUMAN BEING and told okay! good luck!! We were both active duty with no family in the area hahaha....it was something else. The good thing was, Jay and I worked opposite shifts, so she was always with one of us....and she bonded with daddy as much as mama because he took care of her solo for at least 8 hours every day. That was a good thing I think. But you are right, we had no clue omg hahahaha. None. I thought she fucking had small pox for cripes sakes...and it was baby acne. But I was convinced that she somehow had an eradicated disease hahahaha. Our middle child was born when I was 29 and yes, he had an easier time LOL

San Marcos TX
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PD, I think one issue with this is the fact that it is assumed that all women, because we are female....are automatically maternal people. We are most certainly not all naturally or automatically maternal. My own mother is the most non maternal chica on the planet. She does not like children other than her own grandchildren...she never baked cookies lol or played with me or went to the park or any shit like that. She was more like my friend than a maternal parent really. Some ladies just do not bond with the baby honestly. For me...I could never like, be a surrogate. I honestly am like cosmic stars and moon and felt that carrying this person, this creation, inside me...was a miracle. To feel them moving and living inside my body was spiritual for me...and when I would hold them and nurse them, this person from my own flesh, it was nothing short of magical. However, it is NOT like this for all women. However, it is expected I think to be like this for all women. And when she does not feel this way, whether due to hormones or ppd or stress of life...or not being naturally maternal, she can feel like a failure and horrible person. And sometimes its easier to run from pain than it is to face it.

San Marcos TX
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TOPIC: Something new, I hope