Self Esteem: Swingers Discussion 2071291011

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Self Esteem: Swingers Discussion 2071291011

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TOPIC: Self Esteem

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User Details are only visible to members.	p.s. Insecurity comes glaring through in your personality in swinging. Confidence and attitude can make all the difference in the world in what makes someone attractive. If you've got Dallas Cowboy cheerleader look to you, but you don't really smile, are kind of withdrawn, don't make eye contact, and it's clear that you lack any confidence, it will really, really, show through.
Chesapeake VA			Username hidden (12145 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My thoughts on this matter: No matter who you are, there will always be someone hotter, cuter, smarter, better at (whatever). You should not feel threatened by these people or that you don't measure up to them. These people exist whether you are a swinger or not. If you have insecurities about a more attractive woman as a swinger, why wouldn't you have one about a more attractive woman who was not a swinger? If your relationship is a solid one based on trust and love you should have no concerns about your husband having fun with someone younger/thinner/tighter ass/better boobs, or who gives the world's best blowjobs. On the contrary - you should be happy that your husband had such a great time. When my wife has been let down by a swinging experience, I feel let down too. I love it if someone blows her mind. What's there to be insecure about? it's not like I have any fear of her leaving me for the guy with the perfect dick.
Chesapeake VA			Username hidden (12145 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Funones, welcome to the Forums. There is a lot of very good advice here, especially in the Women Talk section, but also in the B.B.W. forums. Not that you are by any stretch of the imagination a BBW, but there are a lot of discussions there about self esteem. People before me have given you some great advice. If you are not happy with swinging, for ANY reason, then it's time to step back and suspend activities for a while. You and your partner need to talk about your needs and desires honestly. If you are only doing this to "keep him satisfied," ultimately and intimately compromising yourself for another person, it is time to stop. Especially if swinging makes you feel more uncomfortable with your appearance, then it may simply not be right for you. It isn't for everyone. If you think you do actually enjoy swinging (for you) but appearance is your only concern, I would suggest going to a bunch of LS parties where all you do is meet people. My husband and I have gone to a variety of swinger parties and resorts around the country, and have always found a wide range of body shapes and sizes, both male and female. For a long time I worried about being middle aged, overweight and not as "hot" looking as some of the younger women were, but eventually realized what more there is of me, both physically and by attitude, is well appreciated and admired, too. The most beautiful bodies were not always the people getting the most attention. Most of the time those who were interesting to talk to, good listeners, friendly and happy were having the most fun. Understand that you are not the first person to go through these self doubts, nor will you be the last. Good luck.
Sheboygan Falls WI			Username hidden (7069 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	First, welcome to the forums. You seem to have a handle on your problem, with the thread title: Self Esteem The depth of your problem is evident and fully expressed: When you look in the mirror, you just feel disgust. You probably will find complimentary men enough when you meet them in swinging. Whether this corrects a lifetime of poor self image, time will tell. More likely, you could use some professional counseling, and perhaps use swinging to practice what you are learning. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Some with terrible bodies have strong enough social skills to deflect attention to their strong points. Others basically invite the rest of the world to focus on their weaknesses. Think of your personality as a vehicle. There may be many more years left on you; but when you need some work done, take it in to a professional -- to someone who fixes these things for a living. And best of luck!
Flat Rock NC			Username hidden (2991 post)

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TOPIC: Self Esteem