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TOPIC: Questions_for_the_Ladies_regarding_ED_and_Oral
Created by: lost_j1
Original Starting post for this thread:
Okay my swinging sisters, I need your advice on how you handle this situation. I, along with numerous other women, have been dealing with play partners (all married men, part of couples) who have ED issues. ED and me go together like bees and honey LOL. To date I have played with 5 men, and only 1 was able to get and maintain an erection. Now, I'm not doing this to bash the men, because 1. I know they can't control it, and its not malicious in intent and 2. They would like to have a hard dick as much as I would love for them to have a hard dick!

However. I have reached the point where I am getting impatient with the apologies and the excuses (this NEVER happens to me, or this is the ONLY time this has ever happened). I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but after 4 in a row you become jaded.

Anyways. This brings me to my question. If a man is having ED issues, and you have tried to get him hard. You've done the bj, caressing, kissing, all that. Nothing, and you and he both realize that his penis is pretty down for the count. What is the official etiquette on this? Jay and I have talked about it extensively. I don't want to mess up his pleasure with the other lady, so I thought "okay, I'll just be a lady and go sit at the table and wait". But then, it does tick me off. After 4 times of the other wife getting it good and me sitting there watching her getting it good its on my nerves. Please tell me how ya'll handle this situation.

Thanks in advance, Shelly

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4 months?????????? oye. Well come to think of it I knew my husband way longer then that, but I was in another relationship and never knew he was interested in me at all. When I broke up with the other a mutual friend told me that hubby would be wanting to date me I was like what???? no way, I just got out of 10 years of hell only guys I'm interested in is ones I can fuck and leave never dating seriously again, never marrying or having kids. Famous last words. 5 weeks later we went on date 1 had sex, got engaged 3 months later and married 7 months later had our first kid a year after that.

funny you should say that about the hand shake scotty, the guy we met up with the other week when I met him the first time he shook my hand and gave me a hug, lol I ended up nipping his neck as I thought to myself oh I am going to fuck this guys brains out.

Louisville KY
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God I'm still recoiling from the 4 months thing...wow. He and I knew almost immediately that we would have sex as soon as we could.

As for the thread topic, I've never worried about ED either from husband or from other guys I have sex with. The ones who are mature and skillful and experience those momentary "lapses" are as Scotty, and will certainly do what it takes to please me in many other ways. My husband also, he is much more involved in giving the lady orgasms than he is in his own satisfaction. Then, after she's wiped out physically, he and I culminate in hot fast sex that's very satisfying.

I think it's the dynamic of swinging that guys don't want to "finish" too fast, and are holding out a bit, and that may lead to a bit of flaccidness at times. Drinking adds to that, of course, and so do some of the distractions when in a big group. Unnecessary drama, rigid expectations, a general non-attraction, and putting on a condom all will add to momentary lapses of hardness. We all know that.

What to do about it? Relax. Penetration and ejaculation aren't always going to be the goals and don't have to be. The key is pleasure. My husband can have sex for hours without cumming and he's perfectly happy as long as the woman (or women) are happy. He's patient and zen and mature enough to know he'll get "his" later if that's how it happens to work out.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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APRIL, sweet! Can't wait girl, remember to let me know and we'll schedule our vacation times around that. Shell

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OMG DS, this is what she is worried about! She said what if she waits 4 MONTHS and then he is either teeny weeny or sucks in bed!! I don't know lol...before I commit to buying a car I need to test drive it first lol. Shelly

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I've always believe a by the time you're done "shaking' hands with a woman she knows if she's going to fuck you or not. She might get drunk and do it so she has an out with her friends in the morning "oh i was drunk". but you all know almost immeadiately

Port Saint Lucie FL
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Thats what I'm thinking too Scotty! We read it together...we both looked up from the book and said FOUR MONTHS! Nah, I think her panties are coming off tonight, cause hes HOTTT LOL. Shelly

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I really disagree shell. I really don't want a woman to need me for what I have, needing emotional support is one thing, finanically is another. I love to be wanted, that's what's great about Karen she doesn't need me for a thing, we're equals. 4months? Yeah i'd move on.

Port Saint Lucie FL
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LOL, I dont know Scotty, we are currently in case study lol. LOL. It says that any woman that is looking for a man to see her as a potential wife (in the dating spectrum of course) should wait a MINIMUM of 4 months before having sex with him...I personally think he would lose interest but thats what it says lol. So tonight on 6th street in Austin I'm buying her rum to see if she can make it lol. I usually can't see past 4 dates, but thats just ME lol!! Yeah, it said that a woman has to appear intelligent but helpless...again, in the dating spectrum. That men want to feel needed and wanted, and when a woman is too independent he feels like she does not need him, and the hunt is off and he loses interest or feels intimidated. I don't think C will make it 4 months cause shes a nympho like me, but she is trying her best lol. Shelly

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Shelll,

I think that book is full of shit. Just based on what you just wrote. Our single friends taht aren't lifestylers aren't looking for a woman that's timid. Most men love a confident woman, I know I do. I couldn't imagine spending my valuable time with a woman that was a bit agressive and confident. YUCK!!

Here's another thing, we men like to be approached. women don't come with manuals and it's damn near impossible to know what you want at any given moment. SO TELL US DAMN IT.

No being the greek god sort of guy, I have always had to rely on my mind to get laid. I found with women that all I've ever had to do was listen to them (or at least pretend to). my experience is women would rather have an average JOE take and interest in them than a greek god that is all about himself. Maybe I'm off base but it's worked for me.

Port Saint Lucie FL
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My friend and I talk about this alot because she is actually in the vicious dating world...man, talk about vicious. If we think swinging is tough try dating these dudes lol. I was like sweet, I'm glad I'm married to a good man! lol I just don't know what men get so darned nervous about lol! We recently bought a book called "How to date like a man". Its actually a great book, even in our hobby.....it tells you how men think and how you are not supposed to approach them. I found in it that I am too damn confident and aggressive. Seriously lol, if you get a chance its a very interesting read. Very informative. It says that men are looking for the hunt, and when you "give" it to them they get freaked out or worse, don't want it because they didn't conquer it so to speak. Very interesting lol. So I am always curious as to why they get nervous...but the book says thats just how they are wired lol. Go figure! Shelly

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TOPIC: Questions for the Ladies regarding ED and Oral
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