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TOPIC: Pushy husbands

Created by: jonsan4b1 Original Starting post for this thread:
My scenario is...I'm just NOT bi. I've tried it SEVERAL times. It's just not what I get into...Okay, with that said..I'm having a problem with not only OTHER men wanting me to have F/F sex with their women, but my own hubby pressures me to do it too... And ya know? it's like the old saying, 'you can lead a horse to water, but if it's not thirsty, you can't make it drink'?... I feel that way. I feel like the more I'm pressured, the less I WANT to even TRY to like it... Sooo, is anyone else having this problem, whether it's the bi play, playing alone, group play, anything... If you feel you're getting pressured into something you don't want to do, how are you dealing with it?... P.S. I have ask him SEVERAL times to quit pushing..it ain't gonna happen no more....but its falling on deaf ears..

Created by: jonsan4b1
Original Starting post for this thread:

My scenario is...I'm just NOT bi. I've tried it SEVERAL times. It's just not what I get into...Okay, with that said..I'm having a problem with not only OTHER men wanting me to have F/F sex with their women, but my own hubby pressures me to do it too... And ya know? it's like the old saying, 'you can lead a horse to water, but if it's not thirsty, you can't make it drink'?... I feel that way. I feel like the more I'm pressured, the less I WANT to even TRY to like it...
Sooo, is anyone else having this problem, whether it's the bi play, playing alone,  group play, anything... If you feel you're getting pressured into something you don't want to do, how are you dealing with it?...
P.S. I have ask him SEVERAL times to quit pushing..it ain't gonna happen no more....but its falling on deaf ears..

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User Details are only visible to members.	Shelly....thanks for your reply. I can see that in my old age I have gotten worse at making myself understood. I apologize for the confusion. Swinging (in our case 3somes) is HIS idea, but I figure we both should have a say in the guy chosen to be with us. However, I still think the final decision on if we go with a certain man should be mine. (i.e. my way or no way). If he likes the guy and we meet him and discover the guy has nose hairs hanging over his lip and hands like sandpaper, for instance, or when we get a picture of him I find he reminds me too much of my ex......I should have the right to say no. There are others out there that can please us both? After all, it IS my body that is being used for both of their pleasures. As for the jealousy issue...from the very beginning I told him how I felt. I do not HAVE the right to be with other men. I did not ASK for that right. I did not WANT that right. He GAVE me that right. Right from the beginning he said all he wanted was 3somes. If he does not even want other women, how can I be depriving him of them? 3somes makes him happy. I do not want him with other women. That makes me happy. He wants 3somes and I do not care either way. So, who loses? Seems to me to be a win-win situation for both of us. Hopefully, I explained it well enough this time. It seems such a simple concept to us. I guess when you are swinging because it is Your idea and You really love it, then perhaps you see things differently. Now, I truly think I have beat this horse to death several times over. Time to move on. Thanks for your responses.
Greenwood LA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree with you Vermont to a point. I'm sorry, we'll just have to call a draw on this one and agree to disagree LOL (you KNOW I think y'all are great!)...I STILL say its selfish to want to have sex with whoever suits your fancy, but because of your own issues your spouse cannot....if a man were to do that to a woman we ladies would be all over him. Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Old folks, Don't take us wrong. We are not meaning you any disrespect, but we are going to voice our opinions. Trust me, we get ours when people disagree with us as well!! LOL What Jewel is saying, and what I am saying as well, is this. YES. There are couples where 3somes are done pretty much exclusively, and they are a load of fun. And yes, you and your hubby have the right to do whatever gives you pleasure. What got my feathers ruffled was your first post where you said "Its MY way or no way". Now, we all realize that this is a female driven society. But I know in our relationship, Jay has as much say with who we play with as I do. I just do not agree with you feeling like you have the right to screw your husband and other men, but since YOU have jealousy issues he cannot play with other women. I do understand your second post, where you said you can take it or leave it. I guess I'm just agreeing to disagree. Please don't take us to be unfriendly or hypercritical here, because we are not trying to be. Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ritz..I will try one more time to explain this.....and then I will hush and move on. Not EVERY swinging relationship is the same. People are in it for different reasons and there are many here that do not consider swinging as being limited to couples sharing. There are many that want 3somes. There are many that get their excitement from watching others get pleasured. That is what THEY want. Now, by its very nature a 3 some means ALL parties are participating. So he sees me with someone else (which is what turns him on) and then he gets to play as well. Who loses here? No one that I can see. This is the scenario HE wants. I have no desire to share him with other women, nor be with another woman myself. That was made very clear in the beginning of the relationship and he is fine with that. HE does not WANT another woman. He wants to see me with other men. Now....just where is he being deprived if he is getting exactly what he wants? I wish he would quit trying to get me to be with another woman, but he wants that to happen so he can WATCH....not to be with another woman himself. As I have said, I can take this lifestyle or leave it. But, if I am going to participate, I am sure going to make sure that we are BOTH getting what WE want out of it. It matters not how it fits into someone else's perception of the lifestyle. We are honest with each other, and any possible partners.....I think that it all that matters. Best to you and thanks for the responses.
Greenwood LA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	To those that have criticized me for my "it is all about my way" attitude. Perhaps I need to clear up a few things. I am older and in all my life I have never been involved in swinging. I was monogamous with my previous husbands and never desired other cock - or other women. I do not give a damn if I ever have another man other than my own. HE is into swinging and has been for many years before I met him. He wanted me to try 3 somes. I have. I can take it or leave it. I am not a sexual dynamo that cannot get enough. So if you think I am just out to get it for me and to heck with him....not! I did it for him. If we find some guy that we can really click with I would do it again. But, it would be because it is what HE wants, not me. He likes the excitement and loves to take pictures. I can be very happy being monogamous again. I made it clear 4 years ago when I met him that I was not into women. I also made it very clear that I did not want to share him with other women. He knew my feelings right from the beginning .....I never deceived him or told him I was out to get lots of sex and he couldn't have any. It was not MY idea to swing. HE made it clear that all he wanted was to share me. First it was just to share me with men, but he just thinks if he keeps bringing up the subject of women that I will eventually change my mind. Since the subject of this thread IS Pushy Husbands, I thought I would add my experiences. But, perhaps I do not belong on this site or in this thread. Sorry if I ruffled some feathers. It IS my belief that it is all about me...since that is what he says every day. HE says he gets enjoyment out of me getting pleasured. HE has told me over and over he does not want other women.....he simply wants one there to try to get me to be with her. It will not happen. What is wrong with that? I am doing something to please him. I can do without it - but if I am going to do it I am going to put restrictions on it that will ensure that it is not a bad experience for me. And in case you are wondering, we BOTH are quite particular about who that other guy will be. We do not want husbands - cheating or not. Single guys are more flexible and with no couples there is no issue dealing with women. Call me what you will......but at least I am honest...with myself, him and others. Why are we on this site? Because HE was a lifetime member long before I ever met him....and because I am always looking for friends and one does not always have to have sex to be friends.
Greenwood LA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yep, I'm with Jewel on this one too. Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	WOW! Jewel! Great post! The only other suggestion I can think of that hasn't already been posted is for you to always talk directly via phone to each female PRIOR to meeting and let them know there will be no F/F play. Period. If she agrees then I would think there shouldn't be too many problems. Don't rely on your husband to forward that important message to the couple... you do it direct yourself so there are never any misunderstandings before meeting.
Mountain Ranch CA			Username hidden (8750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	LOL! Love the "tell him he has to take it in the ass" suggestion! Seriously, I'd suggest putting the breaks on swinging until this is worked out. If we are linking up with another couple with a bi fem, I expect bi play (giving & receiving equally) but if the fem is straight, I'm happy with straight-only sex. Don't really understand the fems who say they only play with women they are attracted to - why are you agreeing to link up with the couple if you are not attracted? But I guess if you make it clear up front, it's all good.
Pismo Beach CA			Username hidden (302 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Grill me if you want, but hell no would I put up with some shit like that.... Old Folks you just need to hang it up in my honest opinion..... Sounds like you are just leading your husband along the whole time while you get other cock... Only single males, no play for the husband other than you of course right??? Sounds like shit to me!!! Sounds like he is trying to get some other women for him also not only you. If he is so into single males fucking you and all he gets or as you say likes to do is take pictures...Whewww>>>glad it's not me... I strongly believe that you should never force anyone to do what you want and every person has their own opinion or way of doing things. If you have no intentions of letting him get some pussy or cock what ever he is into then step up to the fucking plate and cut it off..... Don't just keep leading him on saying no no no no and still getting the other cock from different men. Just tell him nope this is never going to happen so lets stop so we can move on. Don't just say wellllll no no maybe step up and put it on the line and say never going to happen so let's just stop now.... Sounds like you get your cock and more... But that is just my two cents worth for what it might be worth...................................................................................................................................... JAY!!!!!
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Old_folks, I agree and thank you for your honesty. I wish everyone was honest like you are. Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

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TOPIC: Pushy husbands