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Proud of yourself! :) : Swingers Discussion 2205241011
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TOPIC: Proud of yourself! :)
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Proud of myself today for making some good choices regarding food. If there is something I want, like a baked potato, then I give up something else with carbs. Also proud of Mr and me for getting back on track w/ working out together. We both are each other's encouragement as well as discouragement, as in, "I'm tired tonight, I don't feel like exercising," "Yeah, me too, we'll start again tomorrow." Well, tonight we each encouraged rather than discouraged, and he made me keep going with some light weights, twice as far as I thought I could. I like when he's in charge like that. It's motivating.

I'm also proud of myself for the way in which I choose to spend money, or not. I have a class reunion coming up and instead of going shopping, I'm going to wear something cute and sexy that I already have in my closet. We can afford for me to shop, but that doesn't mean I need to or "have to" have a new outfit for every occasion.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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It is amazing how someone can see things that I did not pay attention to myself. The wonderful thing about this life is...there is always time to change and improve. It is indeed sad, how we tear ourselves and each other apart. Why? I mean honestly, its a few things. We live in a society where youth is the only acceptable form of beauty. And the diet and fashion industry make BILLIONS in revenue. And if we feel perfectly satisfied with who we are, why would we spend millions on products designed to "fix" us? They know this perfectly....so they spend lots of money on using passive aggressive forms of letting us know we "could" be perfect, if we buy their products or clothes. I mean, look at it. they hire an 18 year old genetically perfect model to sell us beauty creams...and then use digital enhancement. And we believe that if we drop the $30 on it, we will look like that young lovely. Or they use words like "confident", "strong", "sexy" in relation to losing weight...and words like "sad" and "weak" in reference to our heavier self. When.....all our bodies are doing is what they are simply designed to do in the first place. It makes me crazy, and we women fall for it. And thats not even what we do to each other. I wore a bikini to the river yesterday. My belly has stretch marks, my ab muscles are covered over by padding and I am way too white. Yet I stood in the river filled with college guys floating down...and they were quite appreciative of this almost 41 year old body. It feels good, to feel sexy. All of the years I have spent hating my body...its nice to finally you know what girlfriend, you really are pretty alright. There are no ugly women.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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You're adorable.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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All really wonderful posts, dear lovely ladies. I'm going to let them sink in a bit before I start a long rambling post (like most of mine are...I write and write and hit submit and don't look back).

Just to say that we are all so very hard on ourselves. I take pics of a lot of women. I can hide what they don't like about themselves, and accent what they do like. I see it through a woman's eyes, through an artist's eyes, whatever. And every single one of the ladies I've photographed liked their pictures and were SURPRISED at how they look in them. It's b/c when we look at ourselves, at our own selves, we usually go directly to our flaws, do not pass go, do not collect $200. I do that all the time. I do that in mirrors. I do that in pictures. it's also why my husband takes really crappy pics of me usually. He thinks ALL of me is beautiful, b/c he thinks I am beautiful. Period. So he doesn't know to not focus on my belly, for example, or how to hold the camera up and shoot down so I look thinner, or at a certain angle, etc. Agh.

What is wrong with us. I know, for me, it's listening and believing what I've been told by people who hurt me. And not having an honest viewpoint of myself. Self esteem is BELIEVING what others say about you is true. Were you told you are smart? You have good self esteem. Were you told you would never accomplish anything? You then develop poor self esteem. Who did you listen to? Who are you listening to now? Yourself? We are warped. Most of us. We have a warped view. Find someone you trust to tell you the truth. Is it your partner? Does he think you're beautiful and sexy and sensual and capable and intelligent? Why do you not believe that? Why do I not believe that? I chose this man. I didn't choose to be with a dishonest, non trust-worthy, ignorant, blind, stupid man. I chose a smart, good looking man who I trust b/c he's a VERY good judge of people. I've never doubted his judgment of people in our lives, potential friends, people to avoid, political persons, etc. So why do I doubt his opinion of ME?

Okay, I said I wasn't going to ramble. Hahaha.

More on this very good subject. Maybe we should point the BBW threads in this direction too.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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PG I am exactly the same way in regard to scales. I have not weighed myself in omg, shit...prob 10 years. And when I go to the dr. I specifically ask them not to tell me my weight. For me, that number would determine if it was a good day or bad day, and screw that. It is just a number. Nothing more. My clothes tell me when I need to tighten up and when I'm pushing it too far and need to eat more. Kibbles, I hear you. I remember after I had my first child...I had always been like a bean pole. I had a very lean, almost male like body. Tiny breasts, no ass, very thin. Well, along came baby....and oops! I will never forget. I walked into the bathroom, exhausted from caring for her...and I was taking a shower so I was nude. And I looked into the mirror...and I just started crying. I can still see in my mind the look of horrified repulsion that went across my face lol. I just started crying. My breasts, always perky and taut, were now swollen, veiny and hanging...my stomach was just loose. I was swollen, I was a mess. I just thank God that I have come through that. Last night I wore a Candies dress that is so tight its like a second skin. And the other vanilla girls do NOT appreciate it, let me tell you heehee....and I know my belly could use being flatter. But you know what? I just knew I was looking good. You just walk with a swagger when you know that you look on point!!

San Marcos TX
 
 
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PG,

Speaking for myself, I agree with the scale thing you posted.

I can be obsessed with checking the scale every time I walk past it. I am losing weight and my body is changing shape. Sometimes the scale doesn't change but my pants fall off me. Sometimes I think the world revolves around what the scale says. Then the emotional issues of not being good enough, being fat, a loser, and all those other things creep into the mind and makes feeling good about yourself even more difficult.

What you said is a reminder to everyone that the scale should not dominate ones life. It is important to have a balance between what is important and what is an ideal that one may never be able to obtain.

While a pound of muscle and a pound of fat weigh the same, it does not look the same on your body. Muscle is lean and fat is well fatty. 150 with muscle looks so much better than 150 with fat.

Reading about pole dancing makes me wish I had enough rhythm to attempt that. I am jealous of anyone who can dance. I have to watch closely my neighbor next to me to coordinate clapping with the beat of the music. Never mind trying to clap and sing at the same time. Rhythmically challenged.

Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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Kind and Cincy

I read her height and weight too. I guess I assumed that she might not have updated it if she had some body changes recently.

One thing this lifestyle is really good for in regards to a woman's self-esteem is the number of men that see your body as sexy rather than lumpy or imperfect. They see a hot ass rather than an out of shape one with a bit of cellulite. They see your big belly as soft and sexy protecting them from pounding on your hip bones. They see your thighs as perfect to wrap around their waist when you think they are too big or too small. They see the big breasts as a playground and the smaller breasts as the perfect size for their hands or mouths. The don't care of the breasts sag, point off to a different direction or separate to the sides when lying on your back.

No, it is not because they are so damn horny and desperate they will fuck anything. It is because different parts of a woman's body brings out different feelings and responses.

One of the first responses we received after posting a picture on this site of my butt, shocked the crap out of me. This couple was pretty hot and they initiated contact with us and our profile stats showed me at an honest weight. I forwarded a few pics that showed me as I was at the time. He said both he and his wife found me attractive and loved how confident I sounded in my profile. I couldn't believe it, she was beautiful, skinny, and nice breasts. When we met, in person, they both confirmed that they found me even more attractive in person. It boggled my mind until something someone else wrote made sense.

"There has to be three things for me to be attracted to a lady. 1. Personality, 2. Confidence, 3. Body. It has to be in that order. Someone with a crappy personality and a good body turns me off. Someone with a decent personality until she shows how lacking her confidence is drives me crazy because I don't want to continually build up her confidence, it is a full time job and I already have one. When someone has a body and knows it is not perfect but is not obsessed with obsessing over her issues, lets her personality show through and is confident about who she is, I can never get enough of her no matter how her body changes."

I liked that.

Sophia

Hendersonville NC
 
 
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yes and I was thinking about my post in the shower and I want the ladies who have lost weight to know that I didn't say that to demean your weight loss, I think anytime people try to get more healthy it is a good thing, and I'm happy for you! I just think some people get too fixated on the scale.

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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YUP! It's merely one of many instruments, but the information fits together to make the total picture. My scales haven't changed much recently, but people keep saying I look thinner to them and asking me if I've lost weight recently.

Mcallen TX
 
 
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looking at pounds on the scale is NOT a good indicator of healthy weight. I will see if I can find the blog post from a pole friend of mine. She is Asian. And was one of those 5'6 115 lbs "skinny fat" people when she started poling. She actually as many of us do when we do muscle building exercise GAINED weight. If I recall, close to 25lbs. She is a freaking buff goddess. I lost two dress sizes the other year and didn't lose a pound. Do not marry your scale or become its slave.

Louisville KY
 
 
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TOPIC: Proud of yourself! :)