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Pre-teens today : Swingers Discussion 51157
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TOPIC: Pre-teens today
Created by: TheWonderTwins The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Picking on the youngin's about parenting is silly. They just completed the task of childhood so Id think their knowledge is a little clearer than ours after 20 or so!

Lancaster PA
 
 
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I feel if girls were raised and constantly reminded of how special, and powerful they are, they would have the respect for themselves to wait for that special someone. I have always been open with my daughter about saving that gift for someone who will appreciate it and respect her after. You can only give it once and make sure it's someone who wont abuse it.

I have always shared with her that first feeling when that special someone touches your hand and how for days you dont wanna wash it. Then, the first kiss comes, and the holding hands isnt so special ~ you wanna get to kissing. Then the first sexual touch comes, and the kisses and touching looses that initial euphoria. Then sex comes, and so on and so on.....

She understands that concept. But she's always been an awesome young lady. Now, at 15, 5'1 and a pair of 32D's, she's is finally understanding how boys her age are such jerks! She laughs at them cause they stare at her chest. Sees that they dont see anything but. LOL, no special boys derserving of her yet.

Not to brag, but my girl has only kissed one boy and that caused a rukus at school and had to change schools over it. So now, she stays clear. Has too many other things in her life ~ no time for boys. She will not watch r-rated movies without checking with me first ~ has called from other friends homes to ask, so I trust her. She agrees to enjoy being a kid, cause you only got 18 out of 80 years to do it. Once you do something to push you into adulthood, you can't go back. So she's hanging on as long as she can!!

Lancaster PA
 
 
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I believe too that sexuality is felt, but I think having good role models and a great supportive mom doesn't hurt. Believe me...I felt sexuality waaaaaaaaay before my daughter....but I was a different kid, different situation, different times.

cathy

Mifflinburg PA
 
 
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I think all kids and families are different. I also think it has alot to do with where you live. We are very country, very quiet community but with a great deal of school spirit. My being a nurse, and have been lied to from my family when I was younger...well, ...I am like the councellor in my house. I dont' hold back but I also keep things age appropriate. When I was young, I was searching just for someone to pay attention to me and gave myself to way too many fellas. My daughter knows this. She also wasn't a "cheerleader" type but seen how they were treated like meat in school. She turned out pretty classy for bein brought up in these parts. She is a 19 yr old , sophomore in college who is still a virgin. Last year I got her 3 books for Christmas. The Joy of Sex, The Kama Sutra, and Becoming Orgasmic. We just this last summer went shopping for intimate wear together for her....it was a blast~! This girl is still a virgin. She has learned to not hurry. Many of her friends thinks its weird that we went shopping like that. They dont' have the same relationship with their moms. It seems they have to sneak around to buy a simple thong or something...geezus~! She seen friends have babies before they were out of school and what it did to them. She was at one time not going to have sex till marriage. Since she started college, she now says that when she is ready, she at least wants the fella and her to have an emotional attachment. Some of these things she learned from me, and some she has learned from friends and some on her own. I am however a big "hit" at college for being the "cool mom" for buying those books...lol. I got the same comment at Barnes and Nobles from the counter clerk...lol. She said...wow, I wish I had a cool mom like you. I thanked her and said...its all about the whole picture. I want her to know sex is more than just something to satisfy a curiosity or something everyone else is doing. She is smart enough to make that appt for birth control, but wants me with her. The books taught her so much more that I guess I didnt' know how or couldn't teach her. So, for us...it was educating...the area in which we live in , the friends she associated with, which were all the music geeks and super intelligent kids. Great kids, but mostly I let her make her own decisions. I trust when she is ready...she will know it. Some kids I believe are just searching...as I was....for a love I was missing. As in my case it was not having a loving father. Some are just rebellious. Even my 14 yr old boy....he LOVES women...lol. He is talking, but not touching. I think he will beat my daughter as far as having sex but I thought maybe it was a guy thing...lol. I educate him and so does his sister and he has seen the same things as she for the most part. I talk to him about self satisfaction before making any mistakes he will pay for for the rest of his life and point out people and situations that have impacted the lives of family and friends alike. So, hes cool as of yet with himself. I wish you all the best with your teens. I love raising my kids here....and they seem to be better off because of it. Do I have friends or know people whos kids who are also raised here who are different ? Yep. For many different reasons. Who knows what will happen in the future, but....I am here for support and love and understanding and the satisfaction I am doing the best I can. Kids are our future, but I to believe kids deserve to be kids. If only many of them knew what they were missing. Sorry to have been so long winded. Just my 2cents.

cathy

Mifflinburg PA
 
 
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Poly honestly..

I know they might know exactly what they are feeling.. but as kids... they actually may just think it.

I know a girl who have a big visual attraction to women but when they try to touch her its the total opposite. She doesn't like it but does prefer to look at naked women as opposed to men.

I agree that sometime children think they know something but find out later they new nothing. I know I have many times.

I actually like the saying try everything twice. it just might have been done wrong the first time.

My annology wasn't mean to be 100% of cases all the time. Its just that i agree totally that it might not be what it is.

I know I do not like the idea of having sex with animals for example.. No I am not going to try it to find out. i am not saying you should always try it to make sure.

Kids however really think they know alot but as they experience life they find out how little they did know.

To say you feel sorry for someone children because they believe the child might be confused is ludacris in my oppinion. She is obviously doing something right for that child to confide in her in that manner. Lots of people have no idea what there teens are thinking in reality.

~Y

Bridgeport PA
 
 
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Thank goodness I had boys, is all I can say. Poly, yes, honey, that was me who cannot get past the concept of putting those green things in my mouth, but learning very slowly to open my mind. Yes, Jim made me try steamed cabbage, and I hate cabbage, but it wasn't all that bad.

Sorry, now continue on with the subject, I have no input as I have never experienced it. With boys, its different, but I can say that there is nothing wrong with either sex being attracted to the same sex, they are still YOUR creation out of love.

Jan

Johnstown PA
 
 
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Licks.. i have a question for you...

have you ever thought you wouldn't like something and then tried it and found out you were wrong.

She is not teasing the child. She was saying that kids may feel alot of things but until they actually experience it its all speculation. I agree 150% with that.

If someone has never been with a male or female. They may feel certain attractions more to one or the other. That doesn't mean that it will remain that way does it. When you have no experience at something you can think you know but when the situation happens you might find out you knew nothing...

Can't ya. Not to put you down but your right on some of the aspects of being a parent but you still have no clue til you have them. You have an idea. But til you live it you really do not know it..

With life come experience. With experience oppinnions change. not always but they do.

~ Mrs

Bridgeport PA
 
 
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thank you....

Bridgeport PA
 
 
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I do just fine talking with my daughter about her sexual awareness and orientation... I need noone to help me...

The one that it is an issue with and I have a very open and honest communication. She know mom will not judge just help her understand and protect when needed....

Thanks for correcting me on who sings that garbage ... I had no clue.. just know of the garbage...

Yvonne

Bridgeport PA
 
 
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When my daughter was 13 (she's 20 now), she came home after a sleep over with her friends (all between the ages of 12-14) and told me that the 12 year old was gay. They all seemed to be supportive and acceptive of her and her "confession" then they started asking her all sorts of questions. One comment I thought was partticularly funny was "Gee, it must be really cool to be able to have your girlfiriend sleep over in your bed and your parents not have a clue."

Edison NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: Pre-teens today