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TOPIC: Porno, swinging and your relationship
Created by: clearsthroat
Original Starting post for this thread:
In Feb's Cosmo that overindulging in porn may affect his arousal system. A psychologist said, "It can actually rewire the brain's neural pathways, so things that used to stimulate him might not do the trick anymore." It claims to desensitize him to less over-the-top action and his approach can be less intimate and loving. Bla bla, they want threesomes.

It can also alter the way he perceives you. "Men may not find their partner as attractive anymore, since she doesn't measure up to the double-D girls onscreen."

Now I've seen the comments from women that think that their husbands find them to be the most attractive women in the world, which I don't find true so this question isn't for the delusional. Do you think that this theory could be applied to swinging? Alot of men say they will stop if their wives asked but do you think that the "variety" they get in the lifestyle could be harmful to your relationship just as excessive porn? If you're out a few times a month and your husband is fucking numerous girls that he finds more attractive than you (yes, like Carmen Electra) do you think (I'm theorizing here) he could over time not be AS stimulated by you if you weren't swinging?

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Yay, Perm!!!!! You are truly a woman of the world! How did such a young gal get such insight???? You have my respect, definately much wiser than your years. A true spokeswoman for women!!!! You go girl!!!!

Utica NY
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Oh.. I forgot to answer the original post... I think a male would have to be obsessed and watch porn hours a day every day to get to that point of desensitizing. I don't have any direct knowledge of it because Mr Sim doesn't watch porn or read porn magazines... they just don't interest him.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Perm couldn't have said it better and thats exactly how I see it. Have you ever run in to a drop dead gorgeous woman and within 5 minutes of talking she is repulsive... not nearly as beautiful as you had thought initially on first impression. Beauty goes deeper than the skin. Thats why men do think their wives are more beautiful than the most popular model.... its just isn't looks. My husband has actually passed on very beautiful women because their personalities made them ugly.... Thats why you can't judge a book by its cover when it comes to mind blowing sex with others.... the average looking female packing a couple extra pounds might be far more appealing to my husband because she is much sexier than the drop dead young gorgeous gal next to her.... sex appeal is not about the looks...its the attitude.... the looks are just the nice icing on the cake IF they happened to have those too. However.. their spouse has their love... and nothing of just skin beauty can compete with love.... love really is blind..:)

Mountain Ranch CA
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Yes, I do think that over time both parts can loose that level of attraction, how they deal with it is what will make or brake them though. I'll never forget what a friend said once and I'm going to try to quote him here, it went something like "when I see her with another man, it gives me that feeling of when we were new", so from that, I got how a partner could derive something deeper than any physical act could affect someone. I do believe relationships can last for a long time and keep some spark, just the first rush of lust isn't long lasting.

Philadelphia PA
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Its an interesting question...

I know the watching to much porn has an effect but I think its because of all the jerking off their doing.

I am not sure about the second part. Because our attraction to our spouses runs deeper than the skin. They have a connection to us that is emotional. A relationship isn't just a good roll in the hay. We are the mothers of their children. The women who have comforted them when they are sick. The ones who get a job and pick up slack if they lose theirs. The ones who make the feel they matter. We are their best friend. The one they can talk to no matter what the problem is. The ones who wipe away the tears and never tease if ever they just break down and cry.

A quick roll in the hay even if the sex is mind blowing its alot to loose. For just something that only runs skin deep. If I ever for one minute thought that swinging would destroy this life we have built it would be gone like lightning.

We aren't delusional when we say our husband think we are the most beautiful women alive. its not our skin that makes us beautiful to them. To many people feel beauty only runs skin deep. A beautiful soul is a much better catch than a six pack set of abs on any celeb anytime anywhere.

There are all kinds of beauty. We aren't just flesh and bones and holes to fuck. If that is all a person is to a spouse I feel for that person. That's a whole lotta wasted time.

Bridgeport PA
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In Feb's Cosmo that overindulging in porn may affect his arousal system. A psychologist said, "It can actually rewire the brain's neural pathways, so things that used to stimulate him might not do the trick anymore." It claims to desensitize him to less over-the-top action and his approach can be less intimate and loving. Bla bla, they want threesomes.

It can also alter the way he perceives you. "Men may not find their partner as attractive anymore, since she doesn't measure up to the double-D girls onscreen."

Now I've seen the comments from women that think that their husbands find them to be the most attractive women in the world, which I don't find true so this question isn't for the delusional. Do you think that this theory could be applied to swinging? Alot of men say they will stop if their wives asked but do you think that the "variety" they get in the lifestyle could be harmful to your relationship just as excessive porn? If you're out a few times a month and your husband is fucking numerous girls that he finds more attractive than you (yes, like Carmen Electra) do you think (I'm theorizing here) he could over time not be AS stimulated by you if you weren't swinging?

Wheatland CA
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TOPIC: Porno, swinging and your relationship