Porn and self estem: Swingers Discussion 2026501011

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Porn and self estem: Swingers Discussion 2026501011

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TOPIC: Porn and self estem

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User Details are only visible to members.	* Don't like your ass, get the fat sucked out and make it smaller. * Hot damn! I hate my ass, it's too fucking small! Is there a procedure to make it bigger, just a tad more padding please?
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12267 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I know some women who cannot accept their husbands watching any porn at all, and take offense to it. I think that's awful and well, I think it's unnatural considering how very visual guys are. So of course they have to sneak it. But I also hold them a little responsible for it being that way. (also using men as the example) I think it is up to the man, as much as he can, to help his woman see how impersonal it is to him, and how it doesn't change how he feels about her, and help her a little with not letting it effect her self esteem. I don't think some men do that very well and if they did, it would not be such a problem. I also think some are made to feel ashamed so just keep sneaking it. And if the woman is that hard headed about it, I guess no comfort on the subject would help. But my point is, like in the LS, open communication can help. About the men who spend hours and hours watching it, and neglecting their relationship because of it, I think that's either a major personal (or major relationship) flaw that was already there and will probably get worse because of it, and that ends up to be the blame. And then there are people who do become addicted to it. Probably because it is SO accessible and I think that is easier now to happen then years ago. Not sure about way back when, how many 'hours a day' a man could look through a magazine or sit in dark room and break out a movie projector. lol. About such easy access to young boys and girls... I do not know in what ways that effects their sexual developement. I don't think it can be in a good way.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'm of the same mindset as Sed. I never really watched much before I met Mr. But I'd be a great director. I'm the one yelling the screen, Okay, dammit, enough oral, ram that cock into her ass and let's get on with it! (well, I don't really yell, but I do say things like that). Mr. just laughs. He will get busy with me soon after we start watching, but I'll stop him and say, "wait...I want to see this part." I'm a bitch. And, here is the thing I've noticed most: When porn is hidden, when a guy (or girl, ok) feels they have to hide their porn sites, books, movies, and watch/read/look at it on the sly, then the other spouse usually will have a problem. Same with swinging and cheating. When it's shared, or at least known about openly, it doesn't seem to be a problem. I think it really depends upon the person viewing the porn and why they view it. If, yes, they view it thinking they wish their partners were "like that," or "did that," then yeah, a woman can feel insecure. My ex was like that, also kept it hidden, and also made a big deal out of preaching how wrong it was, to others. But if a man (and I'm using males b/c that's my perspective, as a woman) views it, gets turned on, and it's manifested towards his wife, then where is the problem? A mature, confident, secure man knows the "Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah" is acting, and that the film is often looped, they take breaks, come back to it, not many women can suck a dick for THAT long with that expression on their face...and so on. Duh. Men are made to be visual. We had a friend who also got turned on watching gay porn, and it confused and upset his wife until she realized that no, he did not want to be with men and not with her, it was simply sex. Sex is sex, and he was turned on by the visual aspects of having sex, male or female. They came to an understanding, and things were okay. She didn't need to feel "threatened." If porn bothers you, ask yourself why. Is it because he/she is spending more time watching porn than being intimate with you? If so, yes, that would bother me too, and would warrant conversation. Is it something that's used as foreplay, or to get aroused, or as a diversion, or experiment, or hell, just for fun? Interesting question. I think it takes experience, confidence, assurance, and sometimes ok, reassurance, to realize that people in magazines and movies are just that. And you are a real live, warm willing and able body. And more. When I first met my husband, I had just come from a long line of abuse. I had little self esteem. He was away on a trip, and I was cleaning, making room for new stuff, etc., and came across a lot of pictures of some very gorgeous "perfect" women my husband had been with sexually. I cried. I thought, "wow...he's been with these women, what the f does he see in ME?" how silly. But okay. It took a little while to understand what he saw in me...and how I wished I could've seen myself as he did. Well, that takes time and experience. Security. It does sometimes depend on your past, your self esteem. You are in charge of yourself on that one. And you may be surprised, as I was, how very little time it takes to gain confidence in the right circumstances, with the right people in your life. And then, everything can be fun. You can be so free to enjoy life and sex and other people, and all it has to offer. That's a great place to get to. You might not remain there permanently 24/7 (because our minds don't always let us stay there), but you will definitely have more sense of security and confidence and joy if you let yourself unleash yourself a bit. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6045 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Porn did sort of bother me mannnnnnyyy years ago, when I first realized he was watching so much of it. (not too much, but more than I knew of). I was very young and looked just as good as many of them. But it still made me feel insecure. That soon passed tho and now I enjoy it as much as he does ...even tho I look nothing like that now!! lol. I enjoy seeing beautiful women naked. And both of us usually see and enjoy different things about it too.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	this study does not surprise me in regard to females and self esteem. I mean, it is just like magazines. We are fed images that are fake and lies....yet we accept them to be our "ideal"...and when our own bodies do not measure up to this mental standard we beat ourselves to death over it. Same goes with this. For me it really doesnt...perhaps because I have been friends with dancers. My friend told me, its like any job. she said when they are up there dancing they are usually thinking about taking the kids to school the next day, the fact that she has to wash clothes when she gets home from work, etc....same shit we think about, only she is nude while doing it.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23651 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Love watching porn with B. I notice things that he doesn't ;). It drives him nuts. Particularly I love watching amateur porn, I always wonder about what were thee people thinking when they decided to do this!
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12267 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We love porn here too, and it's not a problem for us at all. I do agree tho, excessive anything is not always beneficial. My husband also doesnt spend 'too' much time watching it alone. Perhaps I would feel differently if he did. I'm sure there is some truth to that study.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We would agree with this. Anything to excess is no good. The higher an individual's threshold to arousal becomes would seem to make satisfaction harder to come by.
Center Valley PA			Username hidden (8500 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	p.s. and I totally dig it ;)
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12267 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Non sense, I watch porn and surf porn together with him.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12267 post)

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TOPIC: Porn and self estem