Moms and their sons : Swingers Discussion 1979561031

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Moms and their sons : Swingers Discussion 1979561031

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TOPIC: Mom's and their sons

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User Details are only visible to members.	You will be damaged by it, your view of the world will be changed, people who haven't been in the military will hate your level of dicipline and will try to use it against you" I am also a vet...and I respectfully disagree with this generalization. Given, I am NOT a war vet. I did not get deployed to Saudi when we served, so my experience is NOTHING in comparison with the service people today. However, yes. My view of the world changed. For me, for the better. I went from being a naive little girl who had never seen outside of Wisconsin and a little bit of Texas to being a self independent woman living in Germany. Do people hate my level of discipline? Ummm, I dunno. I know that I am a pain in the ass to employees because of my insistence that they pay attention to detail and drive. BUT...that is not a bad thing again, in my opinion. I think that some get messed up, yes. Esp. our heroes coming back from the middle east. However, I do not think across the board it is bad, hell no. I loved my time in the military, I'd trade it for nothing.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Seventh: speaking as a veteran, don't play tough. Military life is one of the hardest things possible, and even if you aren't deployed to war... You will be damaged by it, your view of the world will be changed, people who haven't been in the military will hate your level of dicipline and will try to use it against you. When ever you can, seek counciling. Something that may seem small usually isn't, and will fester into personality issues. If sent to war, waste no time in seeking VA help for Any illnesses that you didn't have before going to war... OR that became worst after. Your chain of command WILL blow smoke up your ass about preexisting conditions... It's a smoke screen, the military should have caught major issues and anything they didn't either was so minor they accepted it when you joined or it didn't exist until you joined. Eigth: The chain of command binds you to obedeance, it will be used to beat you. But it is a chain that smacks both ways if you learn to keep your mouth shut and educate yourself on your rights and use the advocacy groups that exist to help you get what is rightfully yours. Ninth: expect at the least one mid-east deployment, combat or non-combat. Tenth: 7/10 people are not your friend, but as the lowest rank... You must treat them all as gods... Would you talk about your god behind their back?.. Yes what you say to other people WILL make it back to them... The military is worst than school girls in this matter. Eleventh: if you feel that you can no longer handle it, or that you can't take a life... There are escape hatches... Most will NOT result in charges, or any negative actions against yourself. Simply tell the Chaplin that you can not kill people, if you have a surperior like my father was to those under him, or even those not under his command... They shod help you get out through non-punitive means. If you terminate your contract, you most likely will have to repay the military any bonuses and or benefits like college or the GI bill. Twelfth: keep all medical documents, keep all dd-214s and or orders.. Even after you are out of the military. Should you find an illness later in life after the military, you might still be covered under the va for it.. This however is subjective.
Hazle Township PA			Username hidden (4798 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The true answer is that no one can answer this for you or him, the best we can do is tell you our experiences... First, take what the image of the recruiter and replace it with the devil himself. Everythig he/she says is either a lie, half truth or a bastard child someplace between. Verryify everything! Demand the DD forms and all materials that the contract references, yes there should be no less than 100 pages to read. Second: get god and country out of your mind. Simply put, the Police in the US can use tear gas, and other riot control methods that get US service members sent to prison for. I named tear gas as it is illegal in war, it is called a chemical weapon and found under the MWD catagory. Third: be prepared to be told not to shoot, even as your friends lay dying. My father (army) had to watch as two of our men huddled (one wounded) beging a jersey barrier which was deteriorating due to enemy weapons fire... My father was under direct orders NOT to return fire unless he had 100% assured targets. (this means absolutely no chance is civilian casualties) Fourth: expect every shot to be counted. If your son kills a civilian, or thought it had a weapon AND was firing at them, not just carrying a weapon. Your son may go to jail... As others have, for disobeying direct orders under Rules of engagement. Fifth: three good movies to see, the beast (Russian tank crew in Afghanistan) 9th company (Russian infantry company in Afghanistan) and rules of engagement. Reason these are good movies to see is, they are as close to how it really is over there, and how we treat our troops. Sixth: if your son wants to have direction.. And a job after the military, go air force and enter communications. He is almost assured employment after his first enlistment. .
Hazle Township PA			Username hidden (4798 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	...he got a job! ...he's off to his first day of work as I write! ...life is good today, I love it when I can breathe. :)))))))))))))))))))))
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It's difficult loving so much isn't it? sigh -------- double sigh ty Rdy, really, this motherhood thing is for the birds sometimes, isn't it?! lol. We just want our children to be happy with themselves and their choices. Learn from their mistakes, ...but most of all, healthy, (emotionally and physically) ...and I am very hyper-sensitive with their safety. That is 'my' issue I know, but when my 17 year old godson's life was changed forever in a car crash 7 years ago, I became 'overwhelmingly' fearful. Once you know that phonecall, you can never not know it anymore. I work on this 'alot', but boy does my youngest push me to the edge alot too! lol. (which he also knows ...and often finds it amusing!) :-0 I don't care about college, I just want him to stay safe and not feel like a failure at 19! Like you, I will always observe and try to 'subliminily' guide him towards his own wants or needs. We've said all we could have (and should have) to him, so I feel better about that. Now it's up to him and we will always be there when he needs us. ....Altho, ....I'm NOT doing his laundry anymore!! ...and he has to find a job by Monday!!! ... apparently this week's mission for me, is to repeatedly say, "Sweeheart, you're not going to find a job if you don't start LOOKING FOR ONE!" omg... lol. Thank God we love them so!!!!
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Tall Do you have children?
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12245 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You know hearing these posts are very helpful, I thank you very much. ... It's very hard when you're right smack in a situation and you don't know which way it's going to go... I tend to live on the 'worry' side of life, (to put it mildly)lol, so seeing stories of you looking back remind me to appreciate difficult times, because they are usually what makes all involved stronger in the end. I am VERY supportive of both of my son's to make their own way in this world. My youngest has some (okay, alot) of distractablity and impulsivity issues ....and as a mom, I need to see him addressing that before he makes such major decisions that he himself may very much regret. This particular child has more insight than I have ever seen at his age, but without certain skills, his own insight just confuses him and sometimes ...depresses him. That part breaks my heart. Plus the age alone, as you guys may remember, is not an easy age, and I understand that too. (even tho I have never been a 19 year old boy) I want to see my children succeed in ANY thing they choose, whatever that may mean for them! That is my only dream. What is hard to 'watch', is a brilliant beautiful young person chasing his tail, feeling so bad about it, and possibly choosing something so drastic, just because it seems like it might be 'the answer'. Maybe one of these decisions will be.... maybe they won't... Mom's do not like these odds. :( But we will support him completely (emotionally) no matter what he decides to do, and he does know that, and has been opening up to us alot more. Yet ...the BANK of Mom and Dad has one week left! (and damn if that's freaking not hard too!!!)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	KD -- I'm sure you are struggling right now and my heart goes out to you. When I was 19, I dropped out of college. I was in my sophomore year, had a full ride scholarship, and I was miserable. I remember calling my Nana in the middle of the night to tell her that I just couldn't stay there. I know my family was stunned and I am sure that my Mom was devastated that her "perfect" daughter was going to be a college dropout; however, she never let that show. I was terrified to tell her and, honestly, it was one of the few times in our relationship where she really stepped up and was supportive. She never questioned me or criticized me. What she did do was ask me "What next?" and made it clear that, while I could move home, I would be expected to get a job. Looking back, I can only laugh at how crazy it was... one week, I'm at an elite private university and two weeks later, I'm filling vending machines at the Atlanta World Congress Center and Georgia Dome. I spent two years working a variety of jobs before I went back to school. During this time I did a version of the "walk about" that your son is craving. I drove out to California to visit my Dad, worked the summer out there, and then spent about 6 weeks driving back... traveling all the way up the west coast to Canada and then meandering throughout the country as I made my way back to Atlanta. People questioned my parents, asking how they could "allow" their 20 year old daughter to travel alone. My parents again stood by me and said that I was an adult, I had earned the money to support myself, and they trusted that I would be responsible on the trip. This was before cell phones so every night I called my Nana to tell her where I was so she could put a pin in a map of the United States. That was 20 years ago and it still makes me smile. During this time, I worked hard and I really thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I did go back to school. I not only finished my undergraduate degree but went on to graduate school and ended up a college Professor. As a Professor, I have seen so many students struggling with college, so many students who have no business being at college, so many students who just use college as a way to prolong their parents taking care of them. I respect that your son recognized that, at this time, it wasn't the right place for him. He might decide to join the military. He might decide to attend a trade school. He might go in to the work force. He's young enough that there is time for him to make the right choice and find something he can be passionate about. I think as long as you support him with love and yet set boundaries (like he isn't returning to the Bank of Mom & Dad) that he will find the right path and always remember that his parents loved, trusted, and supported him.
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (4060 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lol yes Ma'm....both Jay and I were active duty. We actually met and married while stationed at Fort Polk, Louisiana :0)
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Shelly, I didnt know you were in the army! Is that where you developed more of your tough side that I admire so much?!! So, my angel dropped out of college this week, (which is fine and knew it was coming) ... and not much talk about the marines, ...but now wants to go on a 'Walk About' ...to find himself. Where, I say, are you going to walk too? Not sure mom, it doesnt really matter. Where will you sleep, what will you eat, when will you come back? I dont know mom. Mom lies in bed at nite ... Marines? ...Walk About? ...Marines? ...Walk About? Omg... I need ice cream. Ben and Jerrys Cherry Garcia in particular. thank you all. i appreciate your feedbak. maybe next week it will be something different. maybe next week he will get a JOB! ...there's an interesting concept.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

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TOPIC: Mom's and their sons