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Marriage : Swingers Discussion 172936
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TOPIC: Marriage
Created by: alynite
Original Starting post for this thread:
What has been the consequence in your marriage? Good and/or Bad..
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Chimera, I agree with what you're saying.

Pulaski TN
 
 
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"I was ready to charge into this and talk about how nothing but plusses had come from our entry to the lifestyle. Then I got interrupted and gave this more consideration. "

Kitty, that's one of the more introspective statements we have seen on these forums. Our stock response used to be something like, "we don't think swinging can damage a good marriage or fix a bad one." We still kinda believe that, but swinging WILL change your union in unalterable ways. We have not yet sorted it all out -- and we have been active off and on for over 25 years.

We have met some truly dear friends, who have evolved with us as companions that go far beyond sex -- the sex has actually diminished in importance to other things in the relationship. We have also been through a few incidents that left us disappointed and testy with one another.

Are we better off than if we had lived a faithful, monogamous life? It is truly hard to say. If we come up with some other thoughts on the topic we will post them here.

M/M Chim

Charlotte NC
 
 
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What has been the consequence on your marriage?....We had a great marriage before getting into the lifestyle. If we had not gotten into the lifestyle we think our marriage would have continued to be great. Our experiences, both good and a couple bad, have helped us grow and evolve; that's a good thing.

Minnetonka MN
 
 
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We had a fantastic marriage before swinging, and after swinging it's still fantastic, and swinging was his idea first. after we leave a couple we been with for the night John comes after me when we are alone, he tells me he has the best orgasms after being with a couple and fucks me. he does this every time. not that he doesn't have fun or climax with the other couple, but he just loves being with me afterwards.

I'm Not complaining either :)

Sue

Philadelphia PA
 
 
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Marriage is great, life can suck....

Note this goes from the original poster.

Annandale NJ
 
 
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Oh...an btw...our marriage is not perfect either. Take one imperfect, moody, sensitive, talkative, adopted, damaged, divorced, abused, sex addict woman with baggage, and add to that one single-all-his-life, quiet, stable, sometimes a bit selfish, military person who grew up with all brothers and no kids or a girlie mom, a guy who's been there/done that, seen it all and done most of it....and yeah, you'll have a few misunderstandings, to understate the obvious! But none are so serious that we can't talk them out, learn about ourselves and each other, and come together with more understanding, compassion and love than before.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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absolutely. We were at that party on Saturday, and we found ourselves just looking at each other, kissing each other as we walked by, etc. Once again, I was "the oldest person at the party" yet Dan said he thinks I have the best boobies. We don't care if we "play" or not...it's great when we do, and we do go to parties looking forward to it. Most of the time, it happens, sometimes it does not, and sometimes it's just not that type of event. That's ok. It is definitely the "negative" things that show the true nature of your relationship/marriage. Deaths in the family, illnesses, traumas and tragedies. How you respond to the big things is a measure, but how you respond to the little negatives, the bad experiences, the things you have to learn to laugh off, talk about, deal with, grow closer because of...those are the things that tell you if you'll make or break it. Sometimes, for a lot of us, it's the big things, Cancer, an accident, devastation, to make us realize what we have in each other. Sometimes it's those little negatives, like a bad swinging experience posted here, that make you look at each other, smile and realize, yeah, no biggie, we have each other.

I always say, "we're not perfect, but we are perfect for each other."

There are negative people everywhere. That's when you look at your mate and shake your heads, and detach from those. There's not enough time in the world to haggle with the negatives. Pass them by and move on. In moving on, move closer to each other.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Thank you! They are appreciated. Marriage is something else. The thing with Jay and I is, we grew up together. I mean seriously, I was 18 and married. wtf was my problem lol. In a situation like ours you either leave room for growth or you get divorced. In regard to the lifestyle...you just have to let things slide off your back. And in the end you are with your life mate and so you can't lose.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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As I stated, we have used the experiences- good and bad- to grow. I just won't paint a picture os sunny skies every day. Just as life is not that way, neither is the lifestyle. I think some enter the lifestyle expecting it to be great all the time just as some enter thinking it will fix a relatinship (both of which are incorrect). I'll say it again, we are better off for being involved.

And Lost, you know you're in our prayers EVERY DAY.

Pulaski TN
 
 
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I'm with you G. I will celebrate my 20th anniversary next month. It has been quite a journey. And I'll be honest, it took cancer to really teach me alot of things. For me, as odd as this sounds, cancer has done many good things in my life and for me...I can never see this experience as negative. I have always been a person that never wanted to be where I was at the time. I wanted to be there or there or whats there...but NEVER wanted to be where I was. Even in my marriage. This experience called cancer is teaching me humility and the idea that its okay to be happy where I am...and its okay to accept help from others. Esp. my husband. He has been my saint through this and I would probably have divorced my ass if I were him years ago...but he is a good man. Marriage is a journey. It will never be all peachy keen...and anyone that tells me that their marriage is perfect...I see them as being full of shit. I've walked this walk lol. You take the bad with the good, you compromise where you need to and fight the fights that are worth fighting. And in the end you accept who you are and see this person as the most wonderful person in your world.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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TOPIC: Marriage