Jealousy: Swingers Discussion 127984

175
Jealousy: Swingers Discussion 127984

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TOPIC: Jealousy

Created by: leeed	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	"When the 4 of u went downstairs" should have read: when the 4 of US went downstairs, not "u" I don't normally write in text speak. Sorry if that was confusing.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	If you never say anything (and I agree with Shel that discretion should be used in talking it out), then jealousy just gets uglier. We all have jealousies crop up from time to time, sometimes inappropriately, sometimes surprisingly. TALK to each other about them, without accusation, without blaming, but just address it honestly and it will be something that will pass. If it does not, or if you're finding it happens in "every" situation, then reassess the whole swinging thing and take a break or step out of it. Jealousy comes by way of insecurity. If you would like your mate to be doing "that thing he does with the other woman but not with me" then that's something to talk to him about. Not whine about. Talk about. (I'm not saying you were whining!) I "could" sulk about things, what good would that do me? He'd never know, and it would cause me to not enjoy life. So...the first, main time jealousy happened in our swinging life, it was because I thought my husband looked very good with the other woman, lying on their sides, cozy, naked after sex, and smiling. What I didn't realize, when I saw the look in his eyes, was that he was looking at ME that way, and not her. See? Perceptions can be deceiving at times. When the 4 of u went downstairs, I was quiet, and sitting next to the other husband. My husband was sitting with the other wife. FINALLY, I simply said, "I really need to be next to my husband right now." Whew. Well, that was EASY! No problem. And we were all friends, so we all discussed the feelings/emotions/situation and it led to some very in depth stuff...which, ok, not everyone would enjoy THAT. Bottom line. Talk. Don't accuse, don't blame, but talk. And if your mate comes to you with a feeling of jealousy, don't get defensive, just respect his/her feelings, acknowledge them as such, and go from there. That happened early on, and hasn't happened since. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (5609 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It is something that does happen even to the most seasoned swinger on occasion. How is it explained? Shit, I don't know. But it does happen. To me it depends on the lady and how I trust her. The best thing I suggest is to not ignore it but do not act a fool either. I would suggest having a signal or safe word, something that is discreet but tells your spouse to please stop. Take it to another room and let him or her know what you are feeling. You aren't bad for feeling that and yes, it does happen. It is how you deal with it that is important in my opinion.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

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TOPIC: Jealousy